Jared Campbell
Jared Campbell has performed on Kill Tony 5 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Story-driven set about fight with gay man who hit on his friend Eddie at Halloween parade. Eddie responds by saying Jared was his boyfriend. Escalates to them joking about getting married. Long narrative with strong closer.
- Gay man thinks Eddie (white dude) is his man
- Eddie throws Jared under the gay bus
- Mock marriage outcome from accusation
Former NFL player (3-week stint) describes being drafted by Miami Hurricanes and then cut. His mother believed he should work for free to convince the team to keep both her sons.
- Mother thought he should work for free to convince team to take both her sons.
- Got to final roster cut but then wasn't reactivated despite keeping playbook.
Jared discusses being dark-skinned and hard to see in nightclubs with neon lighting, makes sexual reference to Malaysian Airlines. Talks about a friend who was more of a fan, mentions being a former football safety.
- In nightclub with dark skin and neon shirt, hard to be seen by girls.
- Friend was fan not friend; got his girlfriend but he's a nice guy.
Jared performs about being from Miami, playing football for University of Miami, moving to LA and meeting white people for the first time. He discusses being 'good enough' to know Black slang but also explain it like Seinfeld and Atlanta.
- Played football at Miami, now meeting white people for first time in LA.
- Can explain Black slang to white people using Seinfeld references.
24-year-old Jared discussed looking older since childhood, embarrassing family photos, grandmother's last words about looking grown, and a club encounter with a woman who was shocked he was only 24.
- Grandma's last words: 'baby look grown' then died
- Club girl shocked I'm 24, thought I had kids and needed to leave