Lawton Parnell

Lawton discusses living with a roommate and hearing what he thought was sexual activity but was his roommate's girlfriend crying. He makes dark jokes about depression and self-harm.

• Thought roommate was having sex, actually girlfriend was crying; both jerking off scenarios.
• Asked babysitter if he could do stand-up; she said she wanted to as a kid.
• Gets so depressed he eats ham from fridge instead of brushing teeth.