Michael Vargas
Michael Vargas has performed on Kill Tony 2 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Michael performs rapid-fire joke punchlines about Beyoncé weight gain, dyslexic 69s, closeted gays, Sandy Hook school, a 'brothel' soup restaurant, and criticism of saying 'no homo.'
- If Beyoncé gets fat, they'll call her Beyondree
- Dyslexic people doing 69 end up with butts on necks
- Restaurant and brothel hybrid 'brothel' serves only soup
Michael did edgy material comparing childhood disappointment (finding dildo instead of Nintendo 64) to discovering his 16-year-old sister on birth control. Joked about his sister, reincarnation, family, and parenting without condoms.
- Found dildo in mom's sock drawer as kid; disappointed getting Nintendo 64 instead
- Sister got birth control at 16; brother relieved because he doesn't need condoms anymore
- Hopes reincarnation as bottle of Jack Daniels so dad would want him; gets to be inside dad