Kill Tony #352
Lineup
Set: First-time comedian discussing difficulties being a straight cisgender man, satirizing male rights activism and environmental concerns with absurdist humor about whale oil and ISIS references.
Interview: 39-year-old electrician with a 21-month-old child, married, wife does graphic design. Tony coaches him on stage presence and hand placement while discussing his background.
- Joining a male rights support group called ISIS while trying to focus on hating women and gays
- Converted car and house to run on natural renewable whale oil as environmental solution
- Tony extensively coaches first-timer on stage presence and hand placement during interview
Set: First-timer discussing genetic engineering and eugenics, joking about creating Olympic superhumans but questioning if they'd prefer sitting at home playing video games instead.
Interview: 25-year-old house painter of mixed ethnicity (white father, Indian mother) with boxing hobby and DVD collection. Confirmed virgin, receives unexpected kiss from audience member volunteering.
- Hitler's dream of superhumans realized by genetic engineering for rich millenniionaires' children
- Your 6'9 green-eyed Olympic prodigy might just want to sit home playing video games
- Hitler also failed at art, making him a double failure
- Audience volunteers give Jon his first kiss on stage, major crowd moment
- Jon does shadow boxing demonstration with awkward hand placement and sunglasses still on
Set: First-timer discussing ex-girlfriend becoming Jehovah's Witness and breaking up, mentions balding and finding a cheap barber shop called Baghdad Mirror.
Interview: 33-year-old musician playing keyboards and trumpet, single for a year after dating opera singer for two years. Lives minimally with three keyboards in apartment.
- Ex-girlfriend chose Jehovah's Witness life without Christmas over being with him
- Barber shop called Baghdad Mirror charges $6 for haircuts, literally giving them away
- Tony makes Forrest Gump comparison and roasts his appearance extensively
Set: First-timer joking about abortion stance (amateur rather than pro), year in South Korea with illegal pornography, and awkwardness of sharing porn videos via email.
Interview: 27-year-old from Calgary/Vancouver Island doing customer support for auditing software, five-year relationship with neuroscientist girlfriend. Recently took mushrooms while golfing, enjoys board games and fantasy hobbies.
- Not pro-abortion, more of an amateur when it comes to abortion
- Porn videos having share button means Karen gets family emails and it goes viral
- Tony does extended Princess Leia impression comparison and callback to impressions
Nolan V
Set: First-timer joking about edging (sexual practice), wearing condoms for stamina, drunk driving advice from father about staying in lane, and discussion of edging as drinking game.
Interview: Plays in 30+ men's baseball league as bullpen catcher, commercial fisherman catching salmon/herring, been with girlfriend over 10 years without marriage, she works in ICBC insurance.
- Wears condoms for stamina and endurance, not birth control or STD prevention
- Father's advice to stay in your lane becomes ultimate drunk driving humor
- All sex is edging when you wear condoms for stamina
- Reveals girlfriend works at ICBC, crowd boos, becomes running joke about monopoly
Mojan
Set: First-timer discussing IBS diagnosis causing bloating and constipation, describing it graphically as gaseous whale and heavy impact on quality of life.
Interview: 29-year-old Persian entrepreneur, studied marketing at BCIT, dates only white men, wears Vibram toe shoes, has German boyfriend of 2 years with shared IBS issues.
- IBS means 90% of food makes you bloat like gaseous whale carcass
- Constipation type of IBS puts a lot of mileage on your butthole
- Red Band gets visibly aroused during set, becomes running joke about wetness
- Mojan demonstrates IBS effects live, Red Band and panel react with shock
Set: First-timer sharing traumatic childhood memory from Saudi Arabia school bus, mistaking stick shift car for black penis, leading to lifelong automatic transmission car anxiety.
Interview: Production assistant in film commercials for 4.5 years, grew up in Saudi Arabia ages 6-12, plays guitar and produces electronic music, made out with seven girls in one night at private school dance.
- Mistook stick shift for black penis on school bus in Saudi Arabia at age 10
- Now traumatized by manual transmission cars due to stick shift confusion
- Tony extensively questions reality of story, suspects misremembering childhood trauma
Set: Year and a half experience, jokes about daughter bullying him, expensive birthday party with only two friends attending, girlfriend thinking blowjob caused pregnancy, and Spotify playlist embarrassment.
Interview: Electrician with 4.5-year-old daughter, shares custody 50%, plays hockey since age 5, recently one year sober from alcohol (still smokes weed), nervous but killing during interview portion.
- Daughter tells him to hug himself instead, bullies him constantly
- Spent $300 on daughter's birthday party with 20 kids, own birthday cost same with two friends
- Ex-girlfriend thought she got pregnant from blowjob, tested positive on pregnancy test
- Adam puts hand in Seymour's pocket during interview, natural nerd dialect mirrors character
Set: Year and a half experience, jokes about fatherhood and daughter bullying him, expensive birthday parties, girlfriend thinking blowjob caused pregnancy, and awkward Spotify moment with stripper song.
Interview: Currently grows weed for a friend, former car salesman, had concussion from drunk car accident (Mitsubishi Galant), fell asleep driving into mountain side, got ticket for leaving scene.
- Daughter bullies him, at birthday party had 20 kids while he only has two friends
- Date plays Spotify, strippers and gangsters song comes on immediately
- Mike reveals history of arrests for weed sales, tape in hair incident, extensive Canadian criminal record
- Celebrates one year sober from alcohol (milestone), still uses marijuana
Set: Two to three years experience from England, jokes about not looking sexy when wet (looks newborn), boyfriend wanting shower sex but she pulls hair and sticks it to wall during intimacy.
Interview: English immigrant with two-year Canadian visa expiring January, receptionist at real estate office, worked behind scenes in comedy in England, met boyfriend year ago but together six months.
- Doesn't look sexy wet, looks like newborn with tiny eyes and hair slicked to head
- Would not watch her shower cam porn, just pulls out loose hair for ten minutes
- Tony references Game of Thrones Ygritte character, Lydia locks eyes for dramatic effect