Kill Tony #359 — Jeremiah Watkins
Guests: Jeremiah Watkins
Lineup
Set: First-time comedian tells story about having sex in a pickup truck at 16 with a screaming girlfriend that attracted a coyote. Set covers awkward teenage sexual experience and girlfriend's vocal nature during intimacy.
Interview: Tony and Jeremiah joke about Alex's appearance, his factory job making resistors, and his relationship. Discussion covers his engineering internship background and his bedroom policy about consent.
- Girlfriend screamed during sex so loud it attracted a coyote in December pickup truck.
- Policy: never say no during sex unless it involves blood or gross stuff.
- Trump character jokes about finding gays in Nebraska after Alex's set about handcuffs.
- Left-hand-in-pocket running gag introduced, observed in multiple Midwest performers.
Fat Dan
Set: First-time comedian discusses sister's cystic fibrosis leading to liver cirrhosis and transplant, sister becoming a crackhead, and a previous concert scam. Makes dark jokes about donor death and family dysfunction.
Interview: Tony learns Fat Dan works maintenance at retirement community, plays guitar in punk band 'The Shitty', grows hot peppers hydroponically, and is from West Omaha. Discussion covers his hesitance to see doctors and band details.
- Sister had cystic fibrosis causing cirrhosis; liver transplant absolved donor of all past wrongs.
- Paid $20 for concert ticket that was a scam; Kill Tony did better.
- Fat Dan sings punk rock acapella, which Tony describes as one of the worst things ever heard on show.
- Audience divided on fat jokes; Tony notes 100% has fat relatives.
Set: First-time comedian from Sioux City covers prison experiences, attempted murder conviction, struggles selling drugs, dark humor about crime. Discusses solitary confinement leading to concentration camp appearance, vitamin D deficiency treatment.
Interview: Extensive 18-minute interview revealing Calvin's three felony convictions including attempted murder from bar stabbing, 95 days sober, 15 years of prison education earning diplomas, and prison work rehabilitation. Tony coaches him to discuss real life stories rather than credentials.
- Tried to sell dope but lacked business sense; couldn't sell Michael Jackson Boy's Life subscription.
- After solitary confinement looked like concentration camp survivor; vitamin D deficiency treatment.
- Robbed liquor store by 'till tapping' - opening register during transaction.
- Calvin reveals he stabbed someone during attempted murder conviction; audience erupts.
- Tony delivers extended coaching moment about discussing real experiences instead of credentials.
- Running gag with n-word euphemism and 'knuckle begins with K' debate.
Set: First-time comedian discusses nudist girlfriend's argument about nakedness, compares to pooping oneself. Makes joke about convincing bar friends to poop themselves, includes dark punchline.
Interview: Billy reveals he's Curtis Nelson's brother (Comedy Store manager), works at FedEx in Shawnee Kansas, has been married 23 years, plays baseball/outfield, still maintains healthy prostate. Discussion about masturbation preferences and porn search habits.
- Nudist girlfriend logic about nakedness vs pooping oneself comparison.
- Red band joke about dirty guys in bars and pooping selves.
- Broken glass incident during set when Billy's delivery accelerates and he loses control.
- Billy asked about masturbation preferences; provides explicit descriptions of porn preferences.
Set: First-time comedian discusses girlfriend asking if he'd still love her as a man, resulting breakup. Makes jokes about dating apps, college graduation debt, battery poverty, and catchy dating lines like '50 Shades of Missionary Position'.
Interview: Tony learns Aaron just graduated as physical therapist assistant, specializes in orthopedic/sports medicine, weighs 115 lbs from high school, boxes and did MMA. Trump bench-presses Aaron successfully as birthday celebration.
- Girlfriend asked if he'd love her if she was born a man; now single.
- Dating profile lines: '50 Shades of Missionary Position' or 'Sorry Wrong Hole'.
- So broke uses same two batteries for Xbox remote, trimmer, everything.
- Trump bench-presses Aaron successfully on stage as birthday celebration.
- Another audience member bench-presses Trump after Aaron's successful lift.
Set: Six-time comic from Iowa City discusses weight loss struggles, KFC chicken and waffles commercial seduction while on treadmill, sexual arousal during workout. Compares food temptation to meth addiction intervention with Breaking Bad characters.
Interview: Aloe Mean drives trucks locally (formerly over-the-road), gained weight during trucking, 36 years old from Des Moines, will appear on tomorrow's Des Moines show. Strong set earns immediate invitation back for larger venue.
- Tried to lose weight on treadmill but KFC chicken-waffle commercial sexually aroused him.
- Food temptation like meth addict in treatment with Breaking Bad characters making crystal.
- Aloe Mean successfully bench-presses Trump with impressive strength and grip.
- Tony immediately offers second set on tomorrow's Des Moines show after strong performance.
- Audience recognizes Aloe Mean deserves more opportunities despite only six prior sets.
Set: First-time comedian discusses adoption by white family and awkward plate-handling at family reunions. Girlfriend hospitalization connected to unspecified issue; set includes punchline about interrupting her.
Interview: Jessie is 25, Mexican but often mistaken for Native American, engaged to Mexican/Puerto Rican girlfriend of 4 years with no kids, makes fertilizer, works 65 hours/week. Has four OWI (DUI equivalent) convictions, 2 years total jail time, expects to father twins.
- White family always handed him plates at reunions like service person despite adoption.
- Girlfriend hospitalized; he had to tell her twice to do something unstated.
- Jessie admits to four OWI convictions by age 25, totaling two years in jail.
- Jessie votes for Trump despite being Mexican, saying 'he's one of the good ones'.
- Tony coaches Jessie to try performing sober instead of drunk.
Set: First-time comedian discusses doctor visit for full physical, doctor wearing purple shoes, awkward prostate exam. Includes religious conversion during prostate exam and punchline about becoming Catholic.
Interview: Justin is purchasing manager at warehouse, enjoys fishing and drinking, has girlfriend of 9 months, has 12 and 13-year-old kids (son and daughter) from previous relationship. Daughter plays football as kicker and safety, recently had concussion.
- Doctor wore inappropriate purple shoes during prostate exam; immediate religious conversion.
- Fake Justin Heaps tried to impersonate performer; removed from stage.
- Discussion of 11-year-old daughter's potential romantic activity with stepsibling.
- Justin resistant to detailed answers; Tony repeatedly coaches him to elaborate.
Set: First-time female comedian discusses year of denial about motherhood then enjoying it. Jokes about parental fear of unintentionally messing up kids, pressure to support children, blaming parents for kids' crimes like bank robbery.
Interview: Stacey has one-year-old child, participates in karaoke reluctantly (previous mic was turned off), resembles Wilma Flintstone per Tony. Episode ends with her singing Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' with audience participation.
- Found out she's a mother; enjoys parenting, probably doing something wrong.
- Parents' biggest fear: blaming for kids' crimes like bank robbery.
- Episode finale features Stacey singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' with full audience participation.
- Stacey's previous karaoke partner turned off her mic; given redemption opportunity here.