Al Gonzales
Al Gonzales has performed on Kill Tony 4 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Al discusses a woman in Austin offering to show him her good titty in exchange for shots, and jokes about seeing various breast conditions. He then discusses a recent date with a lesbian where both were too drunk to realize the other wasn't actually a hot woman.
- Woman at Austin bar offers to show her good titty for shot, making him curious about the bad titty.
- Went on date with lesbian, both too drunk to realize other wasn't actually hot.
Al delivered a rapid-fire monologue covering topics: Chinese government policy, Charlie Sheen/Bree Olson, fourth graders selling weed, and a joke about monkeys choosing porn over food.
- Fourth graders caught smoking and selling weed at school, asking for seconds at cafeteria.
- Scientists found monkeys choose monkey porn over food when given option.
Story about watching C-SPAN while high thinking it was Law & Order. Joke about government replacing 'act of terrorism' with 'man-made disaster' but drawing a distinction with a crude punchline.
- Got so high watching C-SPAN thinking it was Law & Order episode
- Government replacing 'terrorism' with 'man-made disaster' but some disasters involve defecation
Al does quick joke-joke-joke style material: hockey/Putin/shirt joke, NSA/MetroPCS joke, white supremacist confrontation where he says 'you wouldn't like me when I'm Mexican' and claims he stole the guy's job and impregnated his sister.
- Putin upset about hockey, puts shirt back on
- NSA spying joke but he has bad MetroPCS
- White supremacist says Mexicans aren't tough, Al proves him wrong