Kill Tony #606 — Big Jay Oakerson, Ari Shaffir
Guests: Big Jay Oakerson · Ari Shaffir
Lineup
Set: Hans jokes about Austin's small airport, criticizes liberals and trans marchers in Indianapolis, and discusses his weekend in the city. He delivers observational humor about pandemic restrictions and societal changes.
Interview: Tony and panel discuss Hans's trans march joke, his delivery style, and his weekend in Indianapolis including losing a drone and meeting a comedian's mistresses. Hans shares details about a massage experience with a sex worker in Seattle.
- Austin airport is so small it's just left or right, compared to other airports with concourses A-F.
- Trans people are coastal creatures and need salt air to transition properly.
- Tony asks Hans to do a bit with a specific character voice/impression
- Hans shares detailed account of sex work experience in Seattle with specific details about payment and condom use
Set: Christopher does his first Kill Tony set about working in call centers and dealing with ignorant customers. He discusses a customer who claimed he wasn't American until proving his patriotism through violence.
Interview: Tony discovers Christopher has a severe chest deformity (concave chest cavity) visible on stage and extensively jokes about it. The panel riffs on his appearance, visible heartbeat, and personal struggles.
- Call center customer insists he's not American until he goes overseas and kills Arabs.
- Tony and panel discover Christopher's severe chest deformity during interview, causing major shift in energy
- Ari repeatedly makes jokes about the chest cavity and Christopher's appearance throughout extended interview
- Christopher mentions eating cereal out of his chest cavity
Set: Zach discusses turning 33, attending Comic-Cons with costume rules based on last Google searches, and makes a joke about Kentucky Comic Con being a Civil War reenactment.
Interview: Tony learns Zach works for Amazon, has been doing stand-up for four years in Tampa and Alabama, has a master's in forensic psychology but chose comedy, and is currently broke with $60k in student loans.
- He dressed as Super Blonde Sucking Big Black Dick at a Comic-Con costume event.
- Kentucky Comic-Con is actually a Civil War reenactment where people dress as Storm Troopers.
- Tony and panel extensively joke about Zach's forensic psychology degree going to waste
- Zach provides detailed advice on disposal methods during forensic psychology discussion
Set: Martin discusses his fear of needles and vaccine boosters, asks a girl out but says he was the last man on Earth so that started his killing spree. Very brief set with trademark dark humor.
Interview: Tony discusses Martin's Golden Ticket history, a mugging he experienced in DC a year ago, and the broken glasses and broken nose that resulted. Extended riffing on the mugging incident.
- Girl wouldn't date him; when he claims he was last man on Earth, his killing spree began.
- Martin reveals he was mugged in DC about a year ago, got punched in face, glasses broken
- Tony celebrates Martin's achievement as first Kill Tony regular to become paid regular at The Comedy Store
- Martin was the fastest to stage when announced, already waiting backstage prepared
Set: Blake discusses his disabled aunt and her autistic boyfriend, jokes about trans men having zero suicide rate, and claims to have the physical ability and personality to suck his own dick.
Interview: Tony learns Blake has been doing stand-up 3.5 years in Colorado/Hawaii, quit software engineering to bartend on 6th Street, and extensively discusses his sexual encounters with trans women in Hawaii.
- Trans men have zero suicide rate because they can suck their own dick, and he has both ability and personality for it.
- Self-sucking feels like zero percent receiving head and 100 percent sucking a penis.
- Blake makes extensive commentary on trans women from different regions, ranking passability and physical attributes
- Tony references Blake's mention of fucking Hawaiian trans women extensively during interview
- Panel discussion about size preferences and physical characteristics of trans women partners
Set: David discusses wanting a robot girlfriend from Tesla factory, fantasizes about a girlfriend with down syndrome who would love him intensely, and describes teaching her to communicate through stomping.
Interview: Tony and panel extensively roast David about his appearance, hair color, bike purchase and seat issues, kids' birthday candles, special upcoming, and touring schedule.
- Wants a Tesla robot girlfriend with down syndrome who loves him like she loves a balloon.
- Could teach a deaf mule girlfriend to stomp twice for bathroom, three times for food.
- David arrives out of breath from running up stairs, band replays his intro music
- Extensive panel roasting about David's appearance, specifically his Braveheart-style hair stripe
- David discusses his new bike purchase with expensive seat, gets roasted about needing wider seating
- Discussion of David's special 'Dog Belly' and teasing that his would be called 'Hog Belly' due to weight
Set: Al discusses a woman in Austin offering to show him her good titty in exchange for shots, and jokes about seeing various breast conditions. He then discusses a recent date with a lesbian where both were too drunk to realize the other wasn't actually a hot woman.
Interview: Tony learns Al has been doing stand-up 16 years, was on road with Steve Trevino since 2017, now does virtual reality comedy, got firearms and fishing equipment, and opened a VR comedy club called Failed to Render.
- Woman at Austin bar offers to show her good titty for shot, making him curious about the bad titty.
- Went on date with lesbian, both too drunk to realize other wasn't actually hot.
- Al discusses his VR comedy club 'Failed to Render' with 20-80 virtual avatars attending shows
- Tony makes joke suggesting Al use VR to hide masturbation during comedy sets
- Al mentions performing as a frosted donut with chef's hat in VR
Set: Brent discusses wishing he wore different shirt, going to gay bar and getting many free drinks, explains he gives off bottom vibes, then discusses moving from Alabama to Austin and his dad's weird phrases.
Interview: Tony learns Brent is from Oregon/Alabama, recently quit Amazon job, is door-dashing, likes nerd things and D&D, was a top 40 radio DJ for 6 years, and left his comic girlfriend in Birmingham, Alabama.
- At gay bar, gives off bottom vibes so bought everyone drinks to prove he's a top instead.
- Dad said 'if I was any better I'd be twins' and other cryptic phrases.
- Tony reveals he smoked weed with Brent in Huntsville Alabama during a 2016 Monster Energy tour
- Brent does impromptu radio DJ voice and station identification
- Discussion of Mexican restaurant breakfast availability in Alabama versus Austin
Set: Uncle Lazer tells story about his mom backhand hitting him for turning on car interior light, warning about CPS and YMCA. Gets pulled over, cop says he was speeding and swerving, he jokingly claims it's because of the overhead light being on.
Interview: Tony celebrates Uncle Lazer's sobriety (three weeks clean), discusses his cocaine addiction history, recent hospitalization with stomach ulcer, participation in 10th Planet wrestling, and UFC Hall of Fame induction ceremony with Cowboy Cerrone.
- Mom warned turning on car overhead light would summon cops and CPS would take him to YMCA with smelly kids.
- Got pulled over for speeding 90 in 45, joked he was pulled over for overhead light being on.
- Uncle Lazer celebrates being three weeks sober from cocaine addiction
- Discusses poisoning himself with street cocaine, ended up with stomach ulcer instead
- Mentions using DMT and talking to a wizard named Merlin who warned against cocaine
- Discusses joining 10th Planet wrestling and getting tapped out by 16-year-old girl
- Attended UFC Hall of Fame induction with Cowboy Cerrone where his family surprised him
Set: Emma discusses falling in love with a man who is 5'8 while she is 6 feet tall. She worries about looking too big by contrast but realizes she looks like a viking who pillaged him. She jokes sex isn't weird, it's cute because she's a tree and he's a little koala.
Interview: Tony discovers Emma is 23, has been doing stand-up for 3 years in Minneapolis, bartends there, met new boyfriend through comedy scene, and came to Austin with German friend who loves Joe Rogan.
- Short boyfriend sex comparison: she's a tree, he's a little koala bear.
- Emma fails to see stage light at first, Tony points out she could change it from where she's standing
- Emma mixes up Minneapolis references, gets booed by crowd, asks them to boo her to correct it
- Emma reveals staying in hostel in Austin with German friend, Tony warns about bed bugs and herpes
Set: William opens with joke about Bud Light featuring trans person on cans because they're tired of selling beer. Makes joke about feminine hygiene company wanting his image on dental dams. Then discusses Trump's arrest/fingerprinting and Aphex Twin at King Charles coronation.
Interview: Tony and panel discuss William's standout jokes, his disability, and his consistent performance on the show without needing correction. William mentions having an inversion/penis incident on roller coaster that caused temporary retraction.
- Bud Light hiring trans spokesperson because they're tired of selling beer, not to be outdone.
- Tinder's new spokesperson is Ted Bundy.
- Trump got arrested with mug shots and anal cavity search which found Aphex Twin performs at coronation.
- William's Bud Light joke about trans cans gets big laugh from someone in crowd
- Panel celebrates William's joke about Bud Light cans being trans the whole time like Pez dispensers
- William discloses disability that affects his speech and reading, kicked out of school in fifth grade
- William describes medical incident on roller coaster in San Antonio where his penis inverted into his stomach