David Lucas

David performs about dating a white woman and her dogs, then discusses Christianity, reincarnation, and coming back as a dog or rescue pit bull.

• White women love their dogs more than people
• Pray monthly asking God not to reincarnate him as a black person
• Would rather come back as white person's dog like schnauzer named Winston

Explicit material about sex with women with children, autistic son interruption during sex. Hall of Famer returning to perform.

• Autistic son burst in during sex wearing dinosaur slippers
• Prefers sex with handicapped women, like van space and driving

David joked about falling asleep to videos of cops handcuffing Black people and smoke detector beeps, fantasy football being virtual slavery for white guys picking their favorite Black athletes based on physical attributes.

• Black noise: cops putting handcuffs on Black people and smoke detector beeps
• Fantasy football is virtual slavery; white guys pick favorite Black athletes

David discusses white activities like hunting and fishing, black people not hearing smoke detector beeps, hiding things in books vs smoke detectors, and smoke detectors containing diabetes cure.

• Black people don't hear smoke detector beeps, they think it means working.
• Hide things from Black people in books or smoke detectors, we never check them.

David discusses an Indian plane crash reducing scam calls, women with dyed hair and Middle East activism, NFL teams in Middle East.

• Indian plane crash reduced scam calls 50% and Apple tech support.
• If Middle East had NFL team, people would care about it.

Lucas opens with complaints about modern women and squirting, compares it to Ugg boots trend, discusses mattress damage and hydration issues with crude humor.

• Girls didn't squirt during slavery because they were dehydrated
• Squirting came out with Ugg boots; it's piss not discharge
• Hydration joke about mimosa-ass piss being strong as Clorox

David did material criticizing body positivity movement, mocking Lizzo's weight loss, Uber lawsuit about overweight woman, and made jokes about white women. High energy roasting comedian on Kill Tony Hall of Fame.

• Sick of body positivity after Lizzo herself lost weight.
• Fat girl sued Uber because couldn't fit in car, ordered wrong size vehicle.
• MLK died in vain if he doesn't procreate with white women.

No set recap for this appearance.

Diddy's 1,000 bottles of baby oil and GHB scandal, assassination jokes about Biden and drone strikes. References to Diddy parties and exotic cheese. Baby oil consumption and transportation jokes.

• Diddy had 1000 bottles baby oil with GHB, Biden might drone strike
• Would buy baby oil by six-pack like cherry flavor black people call red

No set recap for this appearance.

Sat on the panel this episode.

Got handcuffed, girlfriend wanted phone access to call lawyer, refused to give code. Story about Muslim woman in LA show, made joke about her being terrorist.

• Girlfriend wants phone to call lawyer during arrest, he refuses
• Made terrorist bomb joke about 400lb hijab-wearing Muslim woman at LA show

No set recap for this appearance.

David performs extended roasting set after his minute. Heavy gay humor (10% gay), jokes about Cam's dad calling him 100% gay, pulling out dick for inspection.

• I'm 10% gay—wanna see big dick nigga; pull that motherfucker out
• Cam's dad said you 100% gay not 10%; I ask if he count to 100

David discusses flying first class due to larger seats, airline seat belt extender humiliation compared to wrestling championship belt, commentary on trans visibility and comparing tummy tucking to Mexican women, and various observational humor.

• Seat belt extender displayed like WCW championship belt in coach
• Trans visibility compared to Mexican women tucking stomachs

Jokes about aliens at Area 51, wanting to have sex with aliens, polyamorous relationship with Martian women, jokes about Area 51 guard wanting aliens.

• When aliens revealed real, asks when we can have sex with them like in Avatar.
• Area 51 guard probably waiting midnight shift for aliens, suggesting sexual interest.

Discussed farting with no pants on, showering after protein shake, Tony also farts in shower. Called Tony out for various behaviors.

• Farting with no pants on is gay because you clap your cheeks

Featured guest this episode.

Kill Tony legend and retired regular performs new material about eating Greek yogurt analogy for skinny women, not believing in aliens because nobody in hood has seen them, and aliens avoiding neighborhoods due to spaceship theft.

• Having sex with skinny white women like eating plain Greek yogurt
• Aliens don't come to hood because Black people will steal spaceship
• Aliens would end up at moon with Bluetooth discussions

Criticizes participation trophy generation and autism diagnosis trends. Tells story about his Uncle Cash who has a 13-inch soft penis but doesn't know how to use it, suggesting God must be female for this cruel joke.

• Uncle Cash has 13-inch soft penis but can't use it.
• God must be female to play such cruel jokes.

David performs a joke criticizing the word 'gaslighting,' discussing how people prefer old-fashioned lying and the necessity of lying to partners during sex for their satisfaction.

• Women use 'gaslighting' to sound fancy; prefer old-school lying. Must tell girlfriend she has best pussy ever.

David performs extended set about regional pussy characteristics, racism nostalgia, and homophobic commentary. Very edgy material with frequent use of racial slurs and controversial opinions.

• Regional pussy characteristics based on local humidity/climate
• Preference for racism over modern gay rights activism

David discussed roaches being disrespected insects, made controversial statements about slavery being beneficial, discussed lynching as social control, and targeted Kodak Black specifically.

• Roaches disrespected in insect community, nobody saves them.
• Happy white people brought him from Africa, needs public lynchings.

David opens with commentary on racism and Carhartt clothing, discusses whether gay guys die, compares to baby midgets, and delivers punchline about burying gay men face down. Tight, well-crafted set.

• Black people liking racism because it created Carhartt work clothes
• Gay guys compared to baby midgets as mythical creatures
• Burying gay men face down as their final wish

David does a strong set about 23andMe being a waste for Black people, preferring regular over pretty women, and a Chick-fil-A reference. His delivery is confident and jokes land well.

• 23andMe waste for Black people, envelope just says Africa
• Pretty girls take 90 minutes to get ready, ugly girls ready instantly
• Got dick sucked in spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A

David Lucas performed explicit material about C-sections, vaginas, birth control arm implants, and made dark jokes comparing Ian Edwards to various things. His set was sexually explicit and graphic throughout.

• Gay guys and trans men born from C-sections because first interaction is eating vagina.
• Birth control in arm is weird and too far from genitals, like putting condom on head.

Edgy material about gay/trans men, birth via C-section, first interaction eating pussy, sexuality, and grizzly bear survival scenarios. Controversial rapid-fire jokes with strong crowd response.

• Gay/trans men born C-section so first interaction eating pussy
• Don't think gay men real, drop in wilderness would fight grizzly

David jokes about women's lack of accountability in relationships, cheating excuses, and zodiac sign dating discrimination. Heavy roasting of Tony follows about appearance and fashion choices.

• Women cheat then blame man for working; man works to pay for muffins
• Women blame zodiac signs for behavior instead of taking accountability

David discusses wanting a robot girlfriend from Tesla factory, fantasizes about a girlfriend with down syndrome who would love him intensely, and describes teaching her to communicate through stomping.

• Wants a Tesla robot girlfriend with down syndrome who loves him like she loves a balloon.
• Could teach a deaf mule girlfriend to stomp twice for bathroom, three times for food.

David delivers edgy material about transgender issues, biological agendas, his daughters asking about slavery, Yellowstone, and making fun of various celebrities and guests on stage. Very aggressive roasting style.

• Women cutting off titties considered brave, him doing it makes him lazy fat
• Man's g-spot in ass but farting doesn't give hard dick, won't be tricked into being gay
• Eight-year-old asks if he was sad when he was a slave, born in 1990

New minute about Lizzo and overweight women's confidence post-fame, crude jokes about body parts, and Hibachi grill comparisons. Aggressive commentary on modern body positivity movement.

• Lizzo and overweight women's confidence issues post-fame rise

David did material about his daughter wanting to be a rapper instead of pursuing her private school education, and joked about her mother's boyfriend recently getting COVID.

• Daughter from private school wants to be rapper, not traditional career
• Worried about mom's boyfriend with COVID, sends flowers hoping he survives

David performed strong material on Texas attitudes toward pronouns, Transformers as Decepticons, Black people's reaction to magic, and delivered fast-paced punchlines with callbacks.

• Black people hate magic because they hate being deceived.
• Black magicians don't exist because Black people run from magic like it's the devil.

David Lucas, a regular, does material on women's lack of bargaining power besides sex, their interruptions during TV, and period-based ultimatums.

• Women have no bargaining chips except pussy, useless during menstruation.
• Women talk during TV, get mad when paused, quiet when play resumes.

David jokes about moving to all-white neighborhood, police called on him, being a terrible neighbor, and comparing himself to 'Darren' instead of 'Karen'.

• Neighbor called cops on him walking dog, he encourages more calls on similar-looking people
• Being terrible neighbor at loud barbecues, calling cops himself, he's a 'Darren' not 'Karen'

Edgy set about dating, Lizzo's appearance, confidence, and titties. Sharp commentary on body standards and celebrity culture.

• Ever since Lizzo, hoes got too much confidence
• Lizzo worst type of fat, fat with no titties
• Gym out of pocket man don't help if girl won't do sit-ups

David delivered strong material about iPhones autocorrecting the N-word, trusting flawless women, and needing a woman with flaws. High-energy performance with sharp observations.

• iPhone won't let you type the N-word, suggests Nigeria or Nicaragua instead
• Don't trust flawless women because the flaw is in their head

Dating app girls weird, salvage titles, girls wanting anal sex, comparison to bad pussy, preferring gay sex instead, women's issues.

• Girls on apps with three kids looking for king = salvage title cars
• Girls wanting anal but barely maintaining hygiene = go gay instead

David opens with commentary on white women, BLM marches, and police profiling. Roasts Tom Papa about yeast, bread, and takes control of the room completely.

• White women at BLM march claim to feel his pain; he points out their privilege.
• Tom Papa takes yeast from body and makes bread with it.

David performs about white girls in yoga wear, their feet, the effects of Lululemon, and his humorous observations about physical attributes and fashion.

• Lululemon witchcraft makes every woman look like she has a booty
• Women with large feet wearing cute shoes like Timberlands

David performed strong material about wishing to be white to use slurs, racism by accident due to grandfather's limited race knowledge, hating women with big feet, and sharing shoes with women.

• Wish I was white so N-word means something like you're racist by accident
• Grandfather only knew two races: black and white, called everyone Chinese
• Women with big feet in cute shoes should wear Timberlands

Gay sex absurdism (pocket pussy in ass), post-abortion cunnilingus timing jokes, 'abortion pussy sounds like seashell with babies crying.' Extremely explicit, crude humor.

• Pocket pussy in gay man's ass makes him gay if he fucks it
• Wait 6 months after abortion before eating pussy, less time is desecrating grave
• Abortion pussy sounds like seashell with babies crying when you listen

David Lucas performed observational comedy about sustainability of gay relationships, erectile dysfunction, and explicit sexual content, with sharp taglines and crowd-pleasing roasts.

• Gay relationships unsustainable long-term when erectile dysfunction hits
• Gummy worm reference to sexual alternatives for gay men

Crude observational comedy about his gay vegetarian friend, women with purple hair, Trader Joe's managers needing sex, and his beautiful girlfriend who only knows four words. Sexual and misogynistic humor delivered confidently.

• Gay vegetarian friend doesn't eat meat anymore, switched to 'tofu dick'
• Women with purple hair ruining America; pretty girls never opinionated, only say 'uh ok yeah'
• Girlfriend gorgeous, only knows four words; once women learn sentences they're no longer pretty

David Lucas does explicit sex comedy about preferring fat women, describing their body heat and sexual attributes with graphic detail. Dark punchlines about condom melting and rejection.

• Loves fat women because of big areolas and intense body heat during sex
• Can't wear condom with fat woman because body heat melts it
• When fat girl says 'no' at 380 pounds, that shouldn't be her vocabulary

David delivers political roast material about midterm elections, Georgia governor candidates, DeSantis's wrestler-like speech delivery, and Herschel Walker being irrelevant for 37 years.

• How bad a politician to lose a runoff with Herschel Walker irrelevant 37 years
• DeSantis delivered speech like professional wrestler, Florida is where woke goes to die

David performs dark material about girls using therapy language, consent, and uses a controversial rape joke including 'Beetlejuice' reference about how rape requires three 'no's like the summoning word.

• Rape requires three 'no's like Beetlejuice summoning rule
• Girls use toxic language like love bombing and gaslighting

David joked about mothers being damaged goods, compared them to open-box sales at Best Buy, discussed having two kids he's not involved with, and claimed absent fathers build character.

• Women with kids like damaged goods, open-box at Best Buy
• Two kids he's not in their life builds character

David discusses cheating on a tarot card reader to prove cards don't work, jokes about white women in HOKA shoes and walking dogs (Pitbulls) as indicators they'll 'rescue' him, avoiding Tinder by street observation.

• Cheated on tarot reader to show the cards don't work, mocks her card reading.
• White women in HOKA shoes are attractive; women who rescue dogs will rescue him too.

David performs about Jeffrey Dahmer series, making jokes about gay culture, serial killers, and how cops returned a victim to Dahmer despite obvious signs.

• Jeffrey Dahmer series shows this is how people thought gay men acted
• Dahmer ate men literally; someone should have said eat a bag of dicks
• Black woman neighbor didn't stop Dahmer despite living next door

Strong new minute about trans women in sports, warning labels for fake genitalia, and crafting trans genitalia from memory foam and slime. Edgy, offensive material delivered with confidence and skill.

• Trans women in sports should only be allowed if under 5'8 for fairness
• Trans people should have warning labels like electrical boxes above fake genitalia
• Making homemade trans vagina from memory foam pillow and Nickelodeon slime

David delivers a politically charged set about BLM (Black Lives Matter Incorporated), claiming only purple-haired Trader Joe's managers donate to it, jokes about the organization never hosting a cookout, and makes crude observations about politics and Black culture.

• BLM funded by LGBTQ, only purple-haired Trader Joe's managers give money.
• BLM isn't a Black organization because they never had a cookout.

David performs new minute about his Google search history, wanting to adopt a white baby to teach him the n-word, and carries black babies like Gucci handbags.

• Wants to adopt white baby to teach him n-word; white people carry black babies like Gucci handbags.

David performs about moving to hot Austin from LA, avoiding robbery by gay men in West Hollywood, gym flirting with gay guys, and roasts all four panelists with detailed physical comparisons.

• Gay men robbing him in LA wearing Lululemon with visible dick prints.
• Flirting with gym guys in West Hollywood, getting hit on in parking lot.

David performs explicit material about anal sex, discussing why it's problematic, with graphic details about hygiene and his preferences. High-energy, no-holds-barred comedy.

• Anal sex is gay; the ass is an exit, unclean, no self-lubrication.
• Fingering tactic: covering the hole to prevent 'queef air' from asshole.

David performs material about Alaska's sunlight, slavery jokes, and dark humor observations about his fantasies of being a house slave.

• Alaska 18 hours sunlight would be horrible for slavery.
• Would be house slave and trustee in future slavery.

Regular delivers new minute about Roe v. Wade reversal, casual attitude toward Plan B, and absurdist commentary on birth control methods.

• Upset about Roe reversal because he'd have 17 kids otherwise.
• Drugging girls with Plan B smoothies disguised as ginger drinks.

Material about flying without masks, certified pre-owned items, and abortion jokes comparing eating abortion to putting ear against seashell hearing vacuum cleaner sounds.

• Flying without masks felt like sex without condom after three years.
• Preference for 'certified pre-owned' items including women with abortion history.
• Abortion jokes about eating and hearing vacuum cleaner sounds like seashell.

David discusses drinking whiskey with white people like Rogan and Brendan Schaub, joking about his sexuality. He compares lesbians to vegans and discusses his own sexual experiences with men and women.

• Drinking whiskey with white people helps understand being gay.
• Lesbians and vegans are the same thing, both seeking replacements for real meat.

Hard-hitting material about Jussie Smollett lying, Justin Bieber jail concerns, dismissal of 'racist in snow' concept. Sharp roast-style comedy with strong delivery.

• Jussie Smollett wouldn't get called slur in Chicago snow—racism is heat-dependent
• Justin Bieber going to jail described as vacation for gay men

Political jokes about Black women voting Biden, dating 20-year-old older woman, giving her COVID, and NFL/UFC assuming gender after contact.

• Black women voted Biden in but can't pick right baby daddy
• Dating 20 years older woman, gave her COVID, family suing for elderly abuse

David discussed parents lying about kids being able to be anything, US only needing 400 doctors, Chick-fil-A vs Burger King service quality, and society needing people to work deli meat slicers.

• Parents shouldn't tell all kids they can be anything; need deli workers
• Chick-fil-A spoils you with free sauce and 'my pleasure'; Burger King gives no fucks

Dark comedy set about rape, deaf women, fat Albert impressions, white women with invisible nipples, phlebotomists, and blue veins on breasts.

• If had to rape someone, deaf woman easiest because no sound evidence
• White women titties trip him out, invisible nipples, needs tattoo phlebotomist

David delivered dark observational comedy about white people providing security, scary movies replaced by bills comedy, and N-word usage throughout. His set was high-energy and controversial.

• White people presence guarantees safety; questions about getting on planes with mostly Black/Mexican passengers.
• Scary movies don't work on adults; better scary movie would be three bills totaling $368 on auto-pay with only $290 in account.

David Lucas opened with R. Kelly incarceration material, defending him for peeing on people and comparing it to women's 'squirting'. Made controversial cancellation commentary.

• R. Kelly shouldn't be canceled for peeing when women do 'squirt'
• Would sacrifice mother for remix to Ignition, won't cancel R. Kelly

Material about white women and abuse, eating pussy, shocking and explicit. Regular with established roast dynamic with Tony.

• White women love abuse, hardened by slavery, get turned on by cursing.
• Eating pussy takes 30 seconds to get past funk and pee smell like Warheads.

David performs about being Black in modern times, threatening babies on planes, critiques women's love languages, and jokes about forcing oral sex on dates.

• Best time to be Black, almost illegal to be straight white male.
• Women's love languages vs. sucking dick as primary love language.

David performs new minute about heat making him believe in global warming, slavery in hot conditions, being a house nerd/snitch, understanding slave ownership, and extended riffs on hot dogs, buns, and related crude humor.

• Global warming real because couldn't pick cotton in this Texas heat
• Would have been house nerd snitching for lemonade
• White people have slaves called Mexicans, extended hot dog/bun riffs

David performs jokes about trying to understand white people and their CrossFit obsession, comparing lifting fat women to flipping tires, and miscellaneous observations.

• White people do CrossFit for race war; lifting fat girl's leg is like flipping a tire.

David jokes about preferring his pussy to have odor, his equal opportunity dick respecting pronouns, and only wanting factory parts no aftermarket body kits.

• I like my pussy to have odor when I eat it
• Dick respects pronouns as long as you got factory parts

David performs as a regular about dating white women, QAnon believers, and his observations about interracial relationships and white women's behavior.

• As he gets successful, he finds white women attractive but not 'TSA white girl' types; wants Taylor Swift level whiteness.
• Hard to discipline white women because they turn red when grabbed by neck; can't even poke her forehead without her turning purple.

David performs observational comedy about Spirit Airlines being terrible, judging people at airports, planes with folding chairs, and the pilot using Waze. The set is consistent and funny.

• Spirit Airlines so bad pilot asked for gas money from passengers
• Spirit flight had plane full of folding chairs like cookout
• Pilot had Waze app up in cockpit

David jokes about growing up with anxiety caused by mother saying she wished she didn't have kids, wanting white family and playing football, envying Blindside family life.

• Mom said she wished she didn't have kids; wished he was born to white family
• Blindside should have been his story, could have played football
• Envying white family life with casseroles and thinking about broken skateboards

David Lucas performs sharp material about his eight abortions under his belt and four miscarriages with his current girlfriend. His jokes about ghost babies killing new babies and dark subject matter showcase his strong comedic writing.

• Eight abortions under belt, four miscarriages, ghost babies killing new baby.

Jokes about not eating butt, wanting an Asian son for fashion, asking about back entrance at diner, and Vegas references.

• Eating booty for guys who need housing, he has too much money.
• Wants Asian son so they both wear same Jordans.

David does jokes about Bill Gates/Melinda Gates divorce, relationship strength with money, women screaming during sex from pain vs pleasure, and dirty talk. Returns to show as regular.

• Bill Gates divorce; Melinda leaving because his dick is Microsoft
• If your boyfriend can't beat me up, you're single; I'll assault you
• After sex with women, unsure if screaming from pleasure or pain

David discusses how women's silent treatment is not punishment, jokes about slaves and daylight savings time, and how confused he'd be managing enslaved people.

• Women think silent treatment punishes men; he enjoys it
• If slave owner, would use blackout curtains to confuse slaves about time

Regular performing strong topical minute about cryptocurrency distrust, Southern racism vs YouTube comments, and black experience online.

• Cryptocurrency scam explanation using hood and iCloud references
• YouTube comments are most racist place, even under cheesecake videos

Don't date single moms; jokes about her son wearing his clothes; if men disappeared women would die in 2 years due to arguing; only agree on rape accusations.

• Spent night at single mom's, her son wore his clothes to school
• If men disappeared women die in 2 years, only agree on rape
• Women wouldn't be Navy Seals because they'd argue about uniforms

Set about strap-on users not being lesbians, lesbian/vegan parallels, women on dating apps twerking but claiming 'no hookups,' wanting candlelit romance after showing ass. Tight 60-second professional set with real jokes.

• Women twerking on dating profiles but claiming 'no hookups' is greedy contradiction.

David jokes about intermittent fasting failing because he wakes up at 1:50 AM, and about motivational speaker Eric Thomas not giving thorough instructions on what to do after waking at 5 AM.

• Does intermittent fasting but wakes at 1:50, starts eating within 10 min
• Motivational speaker Eric Thomas says wake at 5AM but gives no next steps

David performs about Black reparations preferring Yeezys and G-wagons, Harriet Tubman on money, and drug dealers not wanting bills with Black historical figures on them.

• Black people don't want reparations, prefer 20 Yeezys and G-wagons instead.
• Harriet Tubman on twenty dollar bills makes dealing drugs awkward.

Regular comedian in hunting gear with new minute covering fast food sauce, snow in Austin equals four inches joke, Australia deadly animals and gun access.

• Fast food workers offended by extra sauce request like you asked something crazy
• Snow in Austin four inches shuts city down, girls understand four inches is lot
• Australia worst country, everything deadly, can't even kill themselves without guns

Dark observational humor about ugly girls not being scared, women over 40 claiming celibacy, and his lack of bedroom stamina and post-coital fatigue.

• Ugly girls aren't scared, check outside during noises themselves, take trash out.
• Women over 40 claiming celibacy should be publicly hung; clock is up.
• Has zero bedroom stamina, falls asleep after masturbating, looks at hand afterward.

Material about condom and mask conflicts during sex, Netflix and Chill distractions, faithfulness in relationships, and absurdist take on women catching men cheating through Groupon activity.

• Girl asks to wear mask and condom - can't be both exhausted and no feeling
• Groupon offers ride-along to catch boyfriend cheating for $89.99

David delivered strong jokes about Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton not representing Black people, and the oddity of feeling more naked with shoes on while naked.

• Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton worst representation; prefer Klansman or Trump speak
• Feeling naked with shoes on feels nasty vs regular barefoot naked

David jokes that anxiety is a white disease, contrasts it with hood life, and jokes about unemployed people buying energy drinks. Quick, punchy one-liner format with strong delivery.

• Anxiety is a white disease, not something hood kids know
• Unemployed people shouldn't buy energy drinks, just water and bread

Set about COVID causing loss of taste/smell during Thanksgiving, gained weight, getting taste back eating various meats, roasted by panel.

• Lost taste/smell; got it back eating pennies; tasted like spare change.
• No taste/smell during Thanksgiving as fat guy; experienced first white Thanksgiving.

No set recap for this appearance.

David performs observational comedy about depression, time travel only working for white people, dinosaurs eating Black people, and his friend's 'love language' texts. Strong material with clever inversions.

• Time travel only works for white people; Black people would get lynched.
• If dinosaurs existed, they probably ate Black people too.
• Friend texts about love language; David asks if he wants his dick sucked.

David jokes about a Tijuana strip club with underage dancers doing homework, claims Trump has big dick energy, and references Trump's hospital COVID Instagram post with bravado.

• Tijuana strip club dancers so young they did homework between sets.
• Trump has big dick energy; only talks shit with small dick energy.
• Trump speaks softly and carries big stick; proven by hospital Instagram confidence.

David performed edgy material about consent, news cycle, and homeless shelter food being too good. Strong opening with controversial premise followed by social commentary.

• Fourth time she says stop is when you should stop.
• News should only air once weekly, not daily Trump/Biden coverage.
• Homeless shelter serving steak/shrimp instead of ham sandwich.

David performed explicit sexual material about white claw drinkers, female breast aesthetics, areola preferences, fake breast surgery, condom usage, foreskin preferences, and explicit commentary on various sexual scenarios.

• If your areolas don't look like a McDonald's sausage patty don't come holla.
• After sex throw condom on her back like a Uno card.
• Women get fake titties for other women, not for men.

Material about white people cooking, meth, sex positions, online dating with overweight women, and his observations on food and dating.

• White people can't cook except meth; have ancient recipes.
• Stomach on girls' backs during doggy style acts as paperweight.
• Overweight women pretend they don't eat while ordering fries.

Lingerie is meaningless to men compared to nudity; white people and pets in kitchen while cooking; white people can't handle spicy food; uses spicy birthday cake as revenge on white friends.

• Men don't care about lingerie; it's like wrapping paper on a toy; just take it off
• White people say they're germaphobes but let cats on counters while cooking
• Get revenge on white friends by baking them spicy birthday cake after racism

Political set about Nancy Pelosi salon visit, government gym access inequity, and explicit threesome experience with butch lesbian and her girlfriend.

• Nancy Pelosi got hair done and left looking like salamander
• Gyms open in government buildings but not in projects during quarantine
• First threesome was 2.5 some with stud dominating him

David discussed women saying 'you'll never find another like me,' loving women easily with minimal effort, comparing love to animals, and his ideal woman being a deaf mute like Helen Keller who can't hear or speak back.

• Women say you'll never love again, but loving happens easily—love is just someone who sleeps with you 3-4 times weekly.
• Perfect woman would be deaf mute like Helen Keller—can't hear affairs or speak back.
• Comparing love to owning a dog that pisses and eats, easier than actual human relationships.

Observational comedy about white people putting dogs in strollers, Instagram dogs, dating white girls, and girl with dog Instagram account.

• White people put dogs in strollers, leashes on kids
• Dating white girls without ankle tattoos or TSA jobs
• Girl posts Instagram as her dog with stories

David covers national coin shortage and Barack Obama, Uber pool, feeling like a prostitute waiting for cars, and a joke about 'Ocean's 11 inches' referencing his anatomy.

• National coin shortage despite Obama asking for change.
• Uber pool makes you feel like a prostitute waiting for a car.
• Ocean's 11 inches movie joke about personal anatomy.

David performed edgy material about eating his girlfriend's ass during quarantine, comparing body parts to kneecaps, a farting incident during oral sex, and a joke about Black people losing value after the cotton gin invention.

• Eating ass during quarantine, girlfriend's ass felt like licking a kneecap
• Girlfriend farted while he was eating her ass after eating Mexican food, felt worse than pepper spray
• Black people stopped being valuable to white people after Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin

Political commentary on Biden's 'you ain't black' statement, crime bill impact on Black community vs COVID, and criticism of pandering. Controversial perspectives on both major candidates.

• Biden's crime bill killed more Black people than COVID-19
• Biden should pick Flavor Flav as running mate for authenticity

David performs a set critiquing the WNBA's lower pay and less exciting gameplay compared to the NBA, suggesting payment should be hourly with bonuses for high scoring.

• WNBA should be paid hourly; bonus if over 20 points; nobody wants LeBron-level seats.

David spent most of his set roasting Donnell back-and-forth with insults about appearance, clothing, and age rather than doing traditional stand-up material.

• Donnell looks like he's waiting for blood transfusion, eats blood.
• Donnell's spirit animal is possum; looks like Rafiki's granddaddy.
• Donnell can't button his jacket; camouflage can't hide him.

David performs about white women protesting Black Lives Matter, compares 'Karen' to racial slurs, and tells story about seeing thick white girl at protest and switching to 'all lives matter.'

• White women comparing 'Karen' to n-word—asks if they got sprayed with fire hose.
• Saw thick white girl at BLM protest, immediately started chanting 'all lives matter'.

David opened with coronavirus material about losing taste and smell, jokes about masks making women attractive, coronavirus as a diet plan, and commentary on his fear during the pandemic.

• Scary part of COVID wasn't pneumonia but losing taste/smell
• Masks make women attractive by covering mouth and nose
• Wanted to get COVID to lose 20-30 pounds in weeks

David discusses racial politics including removing images from food products, changing terminology like 'master bedroom' to 'primary bedroom', and the removal of Confederate statues, arguing these changes don't address real issues.

• Black people want equality but white people removing things from breakfast foods
• Master bedroom terminology being changed to primary bedroom is the gayest thing
• Can't get master's degree anymore so call it 'celery degree' to appease

No set recap for this appearance.

David performs an acoustic musical rendition of 'Iris' by Goo Goo Dolls with band accompaniment. No traditional stand-up jokes; instead a heartfelt singing performance.

David jokes about Waze app navigating through Chick-fil-A, police notifications, and the app seeming designed by Black people for practical shortcuts.

• Waze directed him through Chick-fil-A drive-through to save seven minutes
• Waze alerts for police like app designed by Black people for safety

Fat guy dating dynamics: girls use overweight boyfriends to discover new restaurants; warns against girls taking leftovers or using phone during meals.

• Girls date fat guys to find new restaurants; take-out boxes are off-limits.
• Girlfriend can't use phone during meals; she pays for her own food.

Observational set about cousin's death despite fundraising for heart transplant, funeral planning, and roasting himself about appearance and clothing.

• Cousin died despite raising $250k for new heart, wasted opportunity.
• Could have had ferris wheel at funeral, platinum casket with puppeteers.

Extended set about Noah's Ark and animals, roasting panel and Tim Dylan extensively about appearance, weight, and various comparisons. Heavy physical roasting.

• Noah took two roaches on the Ark, questioning how he managed all the animals
• Tim Dylan looks like Louie Anderson made into a s'more, chocolate-covered marshmallow

Regular assassin. Jokes about bad knees preventing doggy style, inability to do missionary, and his physical appearance. Heavy on self-deprecating and physical humor.

• Bad knees prevent doggy style, can only do 3-5 pushups
• 300-pound guy hovering during missionary poses sweat danger

David performs a clever set comparing Home Alone to a black kid's ordinary day, noting differences like real guns vs BB guns and distrust of police. Discusses how the movie would be different if he experienced it.

• Home Alone as ordinary day for Black kid: steal money, fight bad guys, actual gun.
• Black home alone would use Colt 45, not BB gun; wouldn't let robbers return.

David discusses accidentally falling in love with a trans woman through the show 'Pose', theorizes about transgender women and HIV transmission, and reflects on what type of gay man he would be.

• Fell in love with trans character on Pose; theorizes if he were gay he'd be top.

David discussed the difficulty of breaking up with exes and condom usage, comparing wearing condoms to washing hands with gloves, jokes about his weight and AIDS.

• Hardest part of breaking up is having to use condoms with new people
• Wearing condoms is like washing hands with gloves, you feel water but not wetness
• Can't have AIDS because he's too fat, over 250 pounds

David opens with a joke about losing custody but being excited for summer, then performs material about his next baby mama potentially being Asian so kids can make Nikes they'll wear.

• Lost custody but summer about to be lit.
• Next baby mama Asian so kids make Nikes.

David performed a set about his baby mama resulting from a hookup at a club, claiming the pregnancy was impossible given the bathroom location, and references to his child.

• Baby mama from club bathroom hookup, claims pregnancy impossible from that location
• Can't have STD while 280 pounds, therefore baby can't be his

Set about Jesus as Me Too baby; Mary didn't consent to pregnancy by Holy Spirit. Joseph as terrible stepfather. Implications if Jesus born in 2020, modern commentary on biblical narrative.

• Jesus was Me Too baby; Mary didn't ask to be pregnant, Holy Spirit raped her
• If Jesus born 2020 nobody respects his miracles because he's Me Too baby
• Joseph terrible father; has to raise baby another man's spirit impregnated

David performs a brand new minute on dog ownership disparities between white and Black people, inheritance, and racial observations about dog culture.

• White people fascinated with dogs, invented dog pickup bags.
• White dog inherits money, Black dog inherits only doghouse.

Regular comedian with a half-white grandmother discussing how he views white people differently, white people following Black people in grocery stores, and praising Paula Deen's fried chicken despite her racist slurs.

• White people following Black people in stores aren't racist, they're just learning to cook like watching someone make meatloaf.
• Paula Deen is the only white lady he knows who can cook; she can call him a slur because her fried chicken is so good.

David jokes about black women not being into BDSM because their ancestors had 200 years of that, and describes a confusing BDSM encounter with a white woman where he called her 'Keisha' and watched Roots before.

• Black women not into BDSM because ancestors had 200 years of it
• Watched Roots, got emotional during BDSM, called white girl 'Keisha'

David discusses how attractive women are too busy going to brunch, contrasting with how ugly women innovate. References the Toys R Us giraffe birth in his intrusive sexual thoughts, and discusses Jewish vs. Black oppression comparison.

• Good-looking women too busy with brunch to innovate
• Came thinking about Toys R Us giraffe giving birth

Opens with Harriet Tubman currency joke about drugs. Observes Tubman's harsh appearance prevents being paid in that denomination. Makes crude jokes about Tubman's strength and sexual attractiveness.

• Harriet Tubman on $20 makes drug purchases hard; she looks judgmental.
• Tubman too ugly to be attractive; that's where strength came from.

David roasts Ari's exposed genitals, then performs about adult kidnappings where a 300-pound friend isn't concerned because she needs a forklift and 18-wheeler to be abducted, contrasting with ice cream trucks.

• Friend weighs 300 lbs, worried about kidnappings—not her, needs forklift, 18-wheeler.

David jokes about going to jail, eating snacks left by inmates thinking it was a welcome package, being offered sexual favors for noodles, and the absurdity of prison bartering.

• Ate inmate's snacks thinking it was welcome package in jail
• Inmates offered sexual favors in exchange for noodles he ate

David performs set about being big and Black, comparing himself to Kool-Aid Man, attempting weight loss and joking about crack, mentions no one appreciates large guys. Also delivers roast jokes about panel members.

• Being big and Black; knee hits table, called Kool-Aid man
• All skinny guys on crack; big guys get no buzz
• Multiple roast jokes about Tony, Jeremiah, Joel and other panelists

David performs a new minute about dating, sex positions, and his physical appearance. He talks about not having sex with skinny girls and his ability to do only two push-ups.

• Girls thinking doggy style but I have bad knees and can't do that position
• Don't have sex with skinny girls—it's like an attempted homicide charge
• Can't do missionary because I can only do two push-ups

David performs material about ugly girls with good bodies, not wanting to bring them home, sexual encounters with lesbian women because he has breasts, and preferences in partners.

• Hate when ugly girls got good bodies - can't invite them to house
• Lesbian women attracted to him because he has breasts

David performs a new minute about racism in nursery rhymes and laundromats, using observational comedy about segregation in washing clothes and childhood education.

• Baa baa black sheep is the most racist nursery rhyme ever written.
• Laundromats are racist because you can't wash whites with colors or dark clothes with light clothes.

San Francisco expense complaints, first homeless Asian person, Hispanics replacing Asian food cooks, competitive dynamics.

• First homeless Asian in San Francisco, no phone repair businesses.
• Hispanics cooking out Asians from Asian food industry.

David, new regular, discusses treadmill cardio, being out of shape, only able to walk at home but out of breath walking to car.

• Treadmill for hour feels like 10 minutes, cardio time like dog years
• Can walk treadmill but out of breath walking to car

David discusses missing children statistics by race, joking that Black children are too valuable to go missing and get found quickly. Dark humor about family tax returns and kidnapping.

• Black kids don't go missing because too valuable, found by January

David discusses trying to be healthy by giving up meat and hiring a trainer. He jokes about trainers asking stupid post-workout questions. Discusses quitting Planet Fitness because free pizza on Thursdays made it an 'unlimited pizza pass' he only attended on Thursdays.

• Quit meat; trainer asks what next after burning 1,200 calories; he wants dessert
• Planet Fitness $10/month = unlimited pizza pass; only went Thursdays for pizza

High-energy set about hating skinny people on escalators, would take them all out. Tight 50-second joke with strong delivery and confidence.

• Skinny people walking on escalators annoy him; he'd fall back and take everyone out.

David performs a bit about racial differences, particularly about Columbus and spices, arguing that white people must have been desperate. He discusses meeting his wife at a church and their poor sex life.

• White people had to be looking for something if they lost three ships for salt and pepper.
• Only time black folks go to desperate measures is to get lemon pepper to LA.
• If she's in wheelchair and paralyzed, you can position legs however and she won't feel it.

David jokes about women liking to be choked during sex but not in public, a work girl who passed out during choking and thought he murdered her, sending himself texts from her phone pretending he was late.

• Women like choking during sex but not in public interactions
• Work girl passed out during choking; he texted himself from her phone

Set about being from the hood, with jokes about his mom's version of Monopoly where every space is jail and you can only rent. Strong bit about chance cards and pieces reflecting hood life.

• Hood Monopoly version where every space is jail and you start broke
• Game pieces include pit bull, Cadillac with spare tire, chunk Taylor
• Chance cards reflect hood experiences like falling asleep during robbery

No set recap for this appearance.

No set recap for this appearance.

David performed a minute about trying to lose weight and sexual performance, claiming fat guys have 300 pounds of pressure advantage. He jokes about trust during missionary position and references Shape Ups as effective.

• Fat guys have 300 pounds pressure advantage in sex
• Shape Ups give rocket motion effect during intercourse

Featured guest this episode.

Set about African-American cultural appropriation by white women posting black people on social media and questioning rap music ownership.

• White ladies uploading pictures of African-Americans and appropriating culture
• White ladies are reason Trump got elected but now amplifying Black voices
• Black people systematically oppressed and their music/rap stolen by white performers

David Lucas is a regular who brought his five-year-old daughter to perform a joke about why a cow laid on the ground. No traditional stand-up set performed.

• Five-year-old's joke: cow lay on ground because it died of hunger.

David discusses testing new sex moves on ugly girls first, comparing black suburban experience to tiger in captivity, and making jokes about wreckage and police.

• Test out new sex moves on ugly girls before trying on girlfriend.
• Black suburban kid like tiger in captivity still dangerous but can't survive in jungle.

Absurdist set about booty hops, mayonnaise jars, stealing rotisserie chickens from grocery stores, and elaborate bodily humor.

• Morning routine involves 420 booty hops in self-dug backyard holes.
• Steals frozen pizzas from grocery store by hiding between thighs.

David discusses Easter celebrations, coloring his deck, eating edibles, Easter traditions with dildos and booty holes, and walking for exercise while losing weight.

• Easter tradition of keeping dildos and booty holes in Easter basket

Sat on the panel this episode.

David was interviewed extensively but no traditional stand-up set shown. Discussed quarantine experience, Madden playing, and missing performing in front of live audiences.

• Became one of greatest Madden players in three weeks
• Coronavirus doesn't affect your ego at all

No set recap for this appearance.

No set recap for this appearance.

No set recap for this appearance.

David opened with a quick joke about hating the word 'cocktail' because it sounds like a gay bedtime story. Short, punchy opening with strong delivery.

• Cocktail sounds like gay bedtime story, prefers mixed drink