Kill Tony #476 — Cort Mccown
Guests: Cort Mccown
Lineup
Set: Physical comedy about shake weights, elbow muscles, and Danny DeVito comparisons. Also references Casper the Friendly Ghost dying.
Interview: Discussed new shorts gifted to him, his Jewish childhood, and appeared in multiple pairs of shorts throughout the episode. Also did push-ups and sit-ups.
- Shake weight creates asymmetrical muscle development; ripped elbow.
- Dick looks like Danny DeVito auditioning for Taxi.
- Received multiple boxes of shorts and gifts from audience members throughout episode
- Performed push-ups and attempted sit-ups on stage during interview
Set: Comedy about taco trucks selling cocaine, eating Mexican food, bread, and toasters. Includes material about stroke anxiety and his small head.
Interview: Revealed he does cocaine daily, meth occasionally, smokes two packs of cigarettes, and drives with weed in his car. Has a preemie birth and tiny head.
- Taco trucks sell best cocaine; ambiguous meaning depending on listener.
- Says he is Mexican-like bread because he gets jumpy around toasters.
- Bread gets jumpy around toasters; worried about having stroke.
- Revealed he did cocaine 20 minutes before performing on the show
- Gave tourism pitch for Modesto directly to camera naming drug dealers and gang areas
- Head zoom-in showing his small head size relative to normal
Set: Discusses stripper stigma, slut-shaming hypocrisy, and her Christian beliefs despite working in VIP sections. Opens with ironic about being called a slut.
Interview: From Alaska, been stripping 10 years, made $6k in one night, works at multiple clubs. Discussed helping a trafficked girl and famous clientele.
- If shamed for something, asks what exactly she did to them.
- Revealed she helped a trafficked girl escape by getting her an Airbnb and escorted her to safety
- Santa got visibly excited about stripper on stage, dropped his pen
- Father does her taxes as a stripper, mother passive-aggressively supportive
Set: Material about white people cooking, meth, sex positions, online dating with overweight women, and his observations on food and dating.
Interview: Headlined in San Diego, discovered acai bowls, discussed racial cooking differences. Referenced his favorite Christmas memory discovering Santa wasn't real.
- White people can't cook except meth; have ancient recipes.
- Stomach on girls' backs during doggy style acts as paperweight.
- Overweight women pretend they don't eat while ordering fries.
- Multiple technical interruptions with unexplained cats appearing during set
Set: First-time comedian discusses recent separation from wife, autistic son diagnosis, living in wilderness, chasing rabbits like coyotes, and observations on parenting.
Interview: Special education teacher, has identical twins (one autistic), married 12 years, lives in foothills with wildlife. Plays basketball daily and graphic designs.
- Chases rabbits in wilderness like coyote, thinking he saves them.
- This is his very first stand-up performance ever, first time on Kill Tony
- Saved a goat's life at a petting zoo by unclipping its collar
- Recently separated from wife but still living together; wife is also special ed teacher
Set: Material about texting women, narcissism, conspiracy theories, parents meeting at mattress/meat market/sandwich shop, and family dysfunctions. Heavy use of his signature 'boo-hoo' bit.
Interview: His parents' true story: mattress/meat market/sandwich shop meeting, got married at chip stand. Discovered adopted sister via 23andMe during quarantine after 40 years.
- Parents met at mattress store/meat market, opened sandwich shop, married at chip stand.
- Conspiracy theorists clean ears with Q-tips thinking doctors withhold info.
- Uses signature 'boo-hoo' catchphrase multiple times throughout set
- Parents revealed they had adopted daughter 40 years ago during quarantine via 23andMe discovery
- Now dating a comedian who saw him on Kill Tony
Set: Material about balding redheads losing their soul, being related to Elizabeth Warren, quarantine horniness, jump ropes as measurements, and Chuck E. Cheese observations.
Interview: Works at YouTube production company FBE as coordinator, wears Oakland Raiders belly button ring, recently broke up with girlfriend over stripping/topless maid work.
- Balding ginger getting his soul back; related to Elizabeth Warren.
- Four jump ropes between normal people, sixty from jump rope users.
- Displayed large Oakland Raiders belly button ring to camera with detailed zoom
- Girlfriend asked him to pay rent or she'd become a stripper; now considering topless maid work
- Discussed girlfriend having copper IUD causing foul-smelling sex described as 'salmon'
Set: Material about anger problems stemming from customer service, taking revenge by paying in coins/change, and distributing exact change to frustrated customers.
- Anger comes from customer service; gets even by paying in change.
- If someone wants two cents, he gives them 92 cents in exact change.
- Final performer of the night; set cut short due to time constraints