Kill Tony #537 — Dylan Sullivan
Guests: Dylan Sullivan
Lineup
Set: Korean comedian riffs on building railroads, facial recognition technology, La Fitness pronunciation, and soup stereotypes.
Interview: Hans discusses moving into a free house, masturbation habits, and watching Japanese massage porn with glasses that let him see clearly.
- Asians built railroads but Americans don't use them anymore
- La Fitness sounds like 'a lot fitness' like a Mexican gym with piñata treadmills
- Hans announces he moved into a free house temporarily until February 6th
- Discussion about watching porn in widescreen and seeing through clothes with special glasses
Set: Observational comedy about serving tables at Cheesecake Factory, dealing with difficult customers named Barbara, and the meatloaf recommendation hack.
Interview: Sterm discusses moving to Austin, dealing with walking issues, wanting to work comedy clubs, and performs a freestyle rap about survival and coming back.
- Karen's mother Barbara doesn't want to see grandkid pictures and loves meatloaf
- Sterm performs an unrehearsed rap about survival and his comeback
- Reveals he was arrested for taking weed charge for someone on parole
- Announces he filmed eight music videos and dropping cannabis commandments
Set: Jokes about energy drinks causing psychosis, Plan B vs. shooting yourself, racism foundation that makes woke people explode, and Charles Darwin marrying his cousin.
Interview: Ray is a 3D artist turned AV technician at a hotel taping power to floors. He mentioned competitive Smash Bros and recently booked for a show.
- Two 5-hour energy drinks make a psychosis drink, not a 10-hour one
- Charles Darwin preached evolution but married his cousin, eyes evolved closer together
- Ray got booked on a Thursday secret show
Set: Kyle jokes about being half-gay, dating a trans woman, friends making fun of him, drag racing, and running in heels.
Interview: Kyle discussed dating a trans woman from Tinder who had top surgery. First time intimate with someone who had a penis. Works in gutters. Friend's dad was a swinger.
- Half-gay isn't real thing, he likes men with women's tits, not men
- Drag racing is hard to do in heels
- First-time performer doing his set
- Kyle admits he wouldn't have sex with trans girlfriend but would if he could go back in time
Set: Canadian observational comedy about Austin being clean, homeless man eating dog poop, offering him five dollars, and dark humor about city conditions.
Interview: Jared extended his trip from Canada, fundraised successfully, visited the Capitol, ate barbecue, got rock bottomed at Viking festival, has large penis, coming back in February.
- Saw dog poop on sidewalk, homeless man ate it, gave him five dollars
- Jared tells story of being rock bottomed by someone at Viking festival
- Extended his trip and continuing to return to Austin
- Tony mentions he got booked for secret shows Thursday
Set: British comedian with abortion jokes about Megan and Prince Harry, jokes about British healthcare and love for abortion as sport, observations on British culture.
Interview: British John is from Yorkshire working as a hacker in Houston, married to California woman who thought he was gay, brought gifts including crumpets and hangers.
- If Megan and Prince Harry have another hunting accident taxpayers pay; they're only having two
- Britain loves abortion like a sport with a season, soccer, cricket, rugby, abortion
- British John reveals his real Yorkshire accent is different from his on-show accent
- Brought gifts including crumpets, hangers for abortion joke, and Amazon gift card
Set: Dark comedy set about rape, deaf women, fat Albert impressions, white women with invisible nipples, phlebotomists, and blue veins on breasts.
Interview: David Lucas is a Kill Tony regular from LA, discussed his roasters club merch, shoes from Cookies and Kicks, barbecue, and staying in Austin until next Monday.
- If had to rape someone, deaf woman easiest because no sound evidence
- White women titties trip him out, invisible nipples, needs tattoo phlebotomist
- Tony makes several callbacks about David's appearance and past incidents
- David promotes his roasters club merchandise from his website
Set: First-time comedy set about boyfriend cheating with trans woman, being underprepared, Missouri weather and girls in less clothing, nervous with wobbly knees.
Interview: Tina is from Missouri with braces, moved to Austin, dated a black man who stole her wallet, has a ball python, likes to dance to oldies.
- Boyfriend felt same way making out with trans woman as she felt unprepared
- Austin girls wear half-naked clothing compared to barely showing face in Missouri
- Tina dances to oldies after mentioning she likes to dance
- First-time performer receives joke book and congratulations
Mason Smith
Set: Comedy about marriage killing sex drive, catching wife drunk for intimacy, whipped cream on genitals, and discovering whippets had consumed all nitrous.
Interview: Mason left his wife in Boston to pursue comedy in Austin, started in Boston three months ago, moves furniture, loves wife but in different city, refuses to move back.
- Sex with wife is proficiency Monday-Thursday; weekend requires her to be drunk/high
- Whipped cream moment ruined when discovered whippets consumed all nitrous oxide
- Revealed wife loves the show but thinks Tony is a dick
Set: Observational comedy about Viagra treating Alzheimer's, binge-eating and purging, GTA San Andreas, carpal tunnel from gaming, and shooting guns off porch at 3 AM.
Interview: William quit drinking six months ago, lost weight through bulimia, injured arm from GTA, shoots guns nightly at 3 AM, has two Sig Sauers with hollow points.
- Viagra doesn't cure Alzheimer's but keeps them busy staring at their dicks
- William discusses owning two Sig Sauer pistols with hollow point bullets
- Admits he lied about liking raisin bread for months for rush of deception
- Red band repeatedly interrupts during set causing William to get angry