Kill Tony #298 — Jesse Joyce
Guests: Jesse Joyce
Lineup
Set: Set about being from the hood, with jokes about his mom's version of Monopoly where every space is jail and you can only rent. Strong bit about chance cards and pieces reflecting hood life.
Interview: Been doing stand-up 9 years, does roast battles and digital roast content that gets millions of views. Family wealth from Slip-n-Slide record label out of Miami founded by his family.
- Hood Monopoly version where every space is jail and you start broke
- Game pieces include pit bull, Cadillac with spare tire, chunk Taylor
- Chance cards reflect hood experiences like falling asleep during robbery
- Jesse Joyce suggests marketing Hood Monopoly as an actual board game
Set: Chaotic set about a cat, bestiality, sushi, and race jokes that bombs quickly after a strong opening. Mic literally falls during performance.
Interview: 21 years old, white (not Mexican despite appearance), been doing stand-up for 1 year, from Compton, currently not working. First time pulled from bucket after attending open mics all year.
- Cat teases him by walking in front with butt up, wants to [ __ ] it
- Had sushi without shaving so he could add hot sauce to spice things up
- Joke about black people not seeing in light because hell is hot
- Microphone falls out of stand immediately as set begins
- Jesse Joyce coaches him that he's better than shock value punchlines about animals
Set: Strong set about construction work and how people admit murders to you while drywall working, which wastes police interrogation training. Bit about learning the phrase people say before confessing.
Interview: Been doing stand-up 3 years starting in Boston, has speech impediment/dysgraphia, dad was yoga teacher who died 3-4 months ago from heart attack, currently works as physical therapy aide.
- Construction is easy: buy boots and listen to murder confessions
- People confess murders to construction workers faster than trained police interrogators
- Everyone says 'I'm not proud of it' before confessing to murders
- Panel discusses that Dan should tell police about the people who confessed murders to him
Set: Bit about Chris Evans visiting sick kids in hospitals - how sick do you have to be to get a real superhero visit? Implies parents lied about why child is in hospital.
Interview: Has been signing up for bucket every week since episode 219 (June 2017), just pulled for first time. New material from Instagram. Works in photography, recently unemployed.
- Chris Evans visiting sick kids means you're probably dying not just sick
- If Wonder Woman visits you, parents definitely lied about why you're hospitalized
- Jesse Joyce discovers Josh has no shoulders and builds entire interview around it
- Josh reveals he dislocated shoulder twice, once during sex where he called his dad
Set: Jokes about looking like emo lumberjack, experiencing Facebook differently (death vs pets), mentor who died, and a classmate with disproportionately large genitals that he describes as tugboat rope.
Interview: 42 years old, works for Southern California Edison in billing, engaged to 25-year-old white woman (17 year age gap), lost 40 pounds in 4 months. Has panic attacks on stage.
- Looks like emo lumberjack so band voted Trump to keep him out
- Classmate had largest penis ever seen, described as tugboat rope for tankers
- Chroma Chris grabs microphone to ask if coach and big penis guy are same person
Set: New material about homeless man buying drugs, living in car, watching leaf-fall TV, people finding him online, and jokes about police cars, taxis, nurses, Instagram hoes.
Interview: Delivering pizza from his car, lives in car with girlfriend and crew outside 24-hour Fitness. Refuses to masturbate ever. 24 years old, from North Carolina.
- Gave homeless man money to buy drugs because he knew a dealer
- Cars should have occupations displayed like police/taxi, like nurse cars, Instagram ho cars
- Panel learns Malcolm claims he's never masturbated in his entire life, causing shock
- Tony and panel fact-check Malcolm's claim, confirming it as first major lie from him
Set: Material about being from Maine, homeschooled, loving Maine but finding racism weird there since no minorities live there. Moved to Boston, sold car for bicycle, feels bad for cyclists hit by cars still blinking.
Interview: Professional skier, got 20th in US Open halfpipe 15 years ago. Dyslexic, homeschooled by libertarian parents. Lives in converted school bus with wife, parked in Silver Lake, has apartment now.
- Maine is racist but weird because they never see other races so why hate them
- Cyclists with lights getting hit still blink on ground, proves visibility useless
- Handren opens a can with his teeth cleanly and precisely in front of audience
- Tony realizes Handren is deceptively talented despite seemingly unfocused set
Set: Jokes about elevators taking breath when he gets on (nervous about his weight), being big-boned from drinking milk, ghosts slamming doors in his house, and reveals he's gay via high soprano voice.
Interview: Been doing stand-up since January, from Miami. Gay comedian with strong stage presence and singing voice. Only 9 months of stand-up experience.
- Elevators take a breath when he gets on like they're bracing for heavy person
- Ghost slamming doors in house, doesn't pay bills so why is he here
- Mark sings 'I Believe I Can Fly' at panel's request, shows real singing talent
- Tony coaches Mark as next promising talent like Preacher Lawson and Andrew Lynch