Malcolm Hatchett

Malcolm jokes about taking Uber instead of the bus, running from the valley to the Comedy Store, seeing a parking pass sign at the Hollywood Bowl, and considering the parking pass cooler than the rapper.

• Parking passes cooler than rappers at $500 concerts

Malcolm performs about working at Clicking Chicken in the valley, an Armenian-owned Nashville-style chicken restaurant, coworkers attributing flavor to him, and menu redundancy.

• Coworkers think his presence improves chicken flavor as only Black employee.
• Menu repetition with different wording for same chicken items.

Malcolm, returning former regular, discusses getting weed thrown out of DC hotel, brother smoking in car, and life updates including car living.

• Was in DC, hotel in Virginia, brother got weed and smoked it in fridge

Malcolm returns after missing two weeks due to eating an edible. Does observational material about triangles (his favorite shape), how triangles appear in food like pizza and Doritos, and random non-sequiturs.

• Someone called him a monkey, he pranked them with a banana at 7-Eleven
• Loves triangles, spent money on triangle-shaped food like pizza slices and Doritos

Malcolm performs observations about sharks controlling the ocean, the Grinch needing to chase his dreams instead of stealing Christmas, The Rock's mystery smell, and people dressed in American flag colors inspiring pledge of allegiance.

• Sharks control ocean; if you smell like blood you will be eaten
• Grinch stolen Christmas since 60s; needs to chase dreams instead
• What the fuck is The Rock cooking? Never smelled it despite trying

Regular weekly performer who writes new minute each episode. This set discusses being high on edibles, making friends throw gang signs with him, going to 7-Eleven, and helping clean up downstairs after getting high.

• Friends throw gang signs when he's high on edibles
• Got high, offered to help clean upstairs, confused as helping

Malcolm performed a new minute joking about restaurant discounts, Trump trying to eliminate transgenders, and needing to smell women's fragrances instead of Old Spice.

• Friends ask for restaurant discount, gets 0% off
• Trump trying to get rid of transgenders makes him gay
• Needing Victoria's Secret smell instead of Old Spice

Malcolm contrasts music taste change (from gangster rap to The Beatles), discusses how anyone can die from anything (sneezing wrong way), and jokes about homeless plumbers having access to bathrooms.

• LA changed his music taste from gangster rap to The Beatles
• Anyone can die from anything including sneezing wrong way, everything kills you
• Best job for homeless man is plumber - gets to use bathroom

Regular performer Malcolm discusses attending a little person pool party (puddle), his mom's predictions for his future, thinking people take forever naps instead of dying, homeless guy offering audition.

• Went to little person pool party; it was just a puddle of water
• Mom said he could be anything; he puts on power heels to take trash out
• People don't die; they take forever naps. Daddy wake up, it's been 12 years you lazy

Malcolm delivers rapid-fire one-liners about jogging ankles, stop signs, and police. High-energy delivery with 13 jokes packed into 60 seconds.

• Fat jogging people yelling for help from their ankles
• Won't listen to stop signs if they're just shapes with no words
• Thinks police cars are the acid kicking in

New material about homeless man buying drugs, living in car, watching leaf-fall TV, people finding him online, and jokes about police cars, taxis, nurses, Instagram hoes.

• Gave homeless man money to buy drugs because he knew a dealer
• Cars should have occupations displayed like police/taxi, like nurse cars, Instagram ho cars

Malcolm performs a new minute about hating when people complain about minor things, references his crazy ex-girlfriends, and tells stories about their dramatic behaviors and phone calls.

• Complains about people complaining about dumb things like itchy legs when others are in wheelchairs with no legs

Malcolm performs a new minute about being an unreliable superhero named 'Fae Go,' who shows up late and gets distracted by ribs while attempting to stop crime.

• Superhero Fae Go shows up late, only when convenient, gets distracted by ribs

Malcolm performed a brand new minute about complimenting women, being confused by safe sex commercials, and contracting herpes. He made jokes about asking for phone numbers and mixing up AIDS prevention with gun ownership.

• Complimented woman but got no number because he's not charming enough.
• AIDS commercial made him grab gun; confused protection with home security.
• Got diagnosed with herpes; relieved it wasn't AIDS.

Malcolm does new material about asking friends to rob a bank, includes jokes about his wife's friends versus his Black friends' excuses. Discusses Tiffany going to jail.

• Asks friends to rob bank, wife's friends agree while Black friends make excuses.
• Friend Tiffany goes to jail three months after bank robbery invite.

Malcolm told true stories about sleeping in his car, letting a friend sleep in back seat, folding t-shirts as pillows, and waking up with neck cramps.

• Folds 5-10 t-shirts as pillow with sock for fluffiness
• Neck crinks from car sleeping then walks around like Destiny's Child

Malcolm performed a new minute about eating spicy food with friends, wanting to be a cop for the outfit, and a 'coochie sweater' joke.

• Friends pressure you to eat spicy food then you suffer on toilet all alone.

Malcolm did a new minute about eating chicken wings on the bus without wipes, blaming LA traffic for homeless people, and seeing a homeless man in a Mercedes-Benz then back in the park broke two days later.

• No bus wipes while eating chicken wings on the bus, had to get louder
• LA traffic causes homelessness, saw guy in Mercedes then broke in park two days later

Regular weekly performer with new minute each week. Set about first girlfriend having sex with emergency brake instead of him, pregnancy announcement as Jake from State Farm joke.

• First girlfriend pleasured emergency brake instead of him during car makeout.
• Girlfriend called him 'Honda Core' after brake sex; next day announced pregnancy.

Regular on show. Works recycling job breaking conveyor belts. Previously worked McDonald's while dealing drugs. Jokes about getting shorted on money for sweet tea, relationships with cold women, back pain from scoliosis, caring despite physical limitations.

• Worked McDonald's and dealing drugs, customer confused his tone.
• Confronting customer short on money with quarter pounder order.
• Girlfriend wants to be on him when cold but he has back pain and scoliosis.

Malcolm joked about white women taking pictures at swamps, alligator scooping up girl, writing jokes is hardest part, almost got in fight where he had to audition for his safety.

• White women take pictures at swamps despite dookie-colored water
• Alligator scooped girl, told him don't forget to tag me

Comic discusses riding rollercoaster for first time at age 25, telling strangers he loves them out of fear, calling on God during the ride.

• Took 25 years to ride rollercoaster, now insecure about it
• On rollercoaster told lady 'I love you' in case he dies
• On rollercoaster called on God promising church every Sunday

No set recap for this appearance.

Malcolm performs energetic material about spending 14 hours in jail and not leaving the lobby for 10 more hours to call it 'a day', contrasts white girls putting him in timeout vs. black girls breaking his spirit, includes observations about homelessness and EBT.

• Spent 14 hours in jail, stayed in lobby 10 more hours to call it 'a day'.
• White girls put you in timeout; black girls break your spirit completely.

Malcolm does observational comedy about fat black girl confidence eating chicken, comparing to skinny white girls, black men's reactions to dating questions, story of being caught eating Oreos at girl's house when boyfriend arrived.

• Fat black girl confidence: eats chicken, admits it; skinny white girl says 'in shape'
• Black men rubbing themselves when asked if fucking a girl, bizarre ritual
• Ran through kitchen, grabbed Oreo when boyfriend arrived, fled with snack

Malcolm delivered sharp observational comedy comparing how Black and white people react to losing things, then transitioned to explicit sexual material about fellatio differences between Black and white women.

• Black people lose things loudly, white people calmly order new ones with insurance
• White women swallow cum and look at you; Black women spit it out
• Ages losing things: white people invent it, implies other races stole

Comedy about brand names as status symbols, looking at expensive items, mother's punishment, and cereal brand differences (Flakes vs. Frosted Flakes).

• Mother hit him for looking at brand names, status symbols
• Flakes cereal has angry Black man with empty bowl vs. Frosted Flakes tiger

Malcolm does a longer set (1.5 minutes) about his candy addiction, comparing himself to a crackhead friend, and discussing getting high on Skittles. He jokes about finding a Snickers bar in Walgreens and the loudest Walgreens moment.

• Addiction to candy like a crackhead is addicted to drugs
• Snickers bar fell at Walgreens, loudest moment in store history

Malcolm discusses being a crack baby, sneezing crack at school, mother stealing from Walmart, and mother thinking she's on TV. Short set with observational humor about his mom's behavior.

• Born crack baby, sneezing crack in elementary school
• Mom steals from Walmart, thinks she's on TV from cameras

Malcolm performs a story about watching porn with his brother as a kid using a remote to switch to Nickelodeon when his mom came down. His mom mistakenly thinks he was watching Rugrats, then beats them for being 'hard' thinking he was aroused by the characters.

• Porn remote switch to Rugrats, mom thinks he was attracted to Angelica
• Food stamps and health insurance are his biggest accomplishments as homeless

Malcolm performed a tight new minute about his mom cooking meals to make him forget trouble, getting in school trouble on purpose for meals, his mom refusing to help with homework, and her calling him about unmade bed after he moved out.

• Used to get in school trouble on purpose just to get mom's home-cooked meals
• Mom refused to help with homework, said it hurt her eyes
• Mom called him about unmade bed eight months after moving out

Black comedian discusses having cousin who killed two people but scared of dogs, asking father about prison sex, car accident insurance scams, and relationship dynamics.

• Cousin killed two people but scared of dogs, dropped gun when barked at
• Black people don't get in car accidents, they lie to get money

Malcolm performed observational comedy about black people going to jail with celebrations, not hearing cop sirens (jogging instead), and a joke about trusting half a mixed-race friend, and a joke about mothers beating kids hard.

• Black people go to jail with celebrations—cookout, baby shower—like extended party.
• Mixed friend says don't trust white people, borrows $20; gives him $10 instead.

Malcolm joked about receiving head so good his ass hurt, about intimidating a gay man, about a gangbanger hurting himself, and about black girls refusing sex.

• Head so good ass hurts; walked away like cheeks were damaged
• Saw gay dude get tough momentarily, scared him gay
• Black girls say everything but no; refuse sex repeatedly

Malcolm jokes about family reunion and dead uncles, blind people and pink lemonade, church offerings, and disliking fat girls who get skinny and become cocky, saying they're still 'fat minded.'

• Mama called about family reunion, uncles all dead, he won't be cooking or paying for funerals.
• Fat girls who get skinny become cocky but are still 'fat minded.'
• In church, people put $20 in offering then take $20 out and ask God for forgiveness.

New minute about sleeping in cars before getting apartment on May 1st, friend DJ getting shot, selling cocaine in North Carolina, LeBron James reference.

• A/C on blast in car before moving into apartment—friend jokes about getting frostbite.
• Mom says friend got shot, asks for $20 if coming home; jokingly says he'll 'finish him off'.
• Sells cocaine in North Carolina, drops some in front of cop like LeBron James.

Tight, confident material about women bragging about boyfriends while sleeping with him, mailmen at 7-Eleven after 8am being late for work. Culturally specific, very polished for regular.

• Women brag about boyfriends while fucking Malcolm unprotected; he won't eat ass due to Chipotle.
• Since being homeless, he wakes early; sees mailman at 7-Eleven after 8am means he's late or Miss Johnson sent him for condoms.

Joke about Starbucks wifi making you full-time homeless, suicide-posting on Facebook girl who fakes it, blocking her after she pokes him.

• Going to Starbucks 8 hrs/day 5 days/week = full-time homeless
• Girl posts suicidal content, doesn't follow through; he comments she's supposed to be dead

Strong set about community service, working out woman at gym, taking Uber to McDonald's. High energy, relatable material. Recently moved to LA from North Carolina, sleeping in car.

• Community service joke about lying to people in jail about why you're there.
• Woman at gym rewards herself with McDonald's after working out.

No set recap for this appearance.

Jokes about cousin in jail, restaurant 'Delicious', ATM acronym, mother praying about mosquito AIDS; tight observational style.

• Cousin upset in jail for two days about no money/calls.

Comedy about gang culture, Crips eating strawberries, hitting parked cars without insurance, bringing fat girl to McDonald's. Strong comedic timing and fresh material.

• Do Crips eat strawberries and you hit parked cars without insurance
• Took fat girl to McDonald's, she squinted at menu

High-energy set about McDonald's work, homeless encounters, and police interactions. Jokes about white women ordering salads, cop telling him to freeze, and various workplace observations.

• Homeless guy complains fries are cold, takes them home to heat
• White women at McDonald's order salad, I say green
• Cop tells me freeze and put hands up, officer pros

Malcolm did his second appearance, telling stories about being homeless, snitching on friends to cops, and interactions with homegirls.

• Still homeless after relationship ended, girlfriend questions their status
• Snitched on homeboy Antonio to cop about crack in pocket