Kill Tony #289 — Ethan Klein, Hila Klein
Guests: Ethan Klein · Hila Klein
Lineup
Set: Norwegian newcomer riffs on American sales tax frustration and her preference for incarcerated/drug-addicted men. First-time stand-up with heavy accent and raw honesty about virginity and ex-boyfriend's suicide.
Interview: Tony and panel explore her dating preferences, virginity claims, green card goals, and comedic background. Heavy discussion of ex-boyfriend's death and Norwegian comedy style.
- Hates American sales tax not being included in displayed price.
- Likes men from prison and druggies despite being a virgin.
- Reveals she's a virgin but likes incarcerated drug addicts; ex-boyfriend found dead via Instagram.
- Tony and Hila struggle to understand her accent throughout interview.
Set: Personal trainer from Taiwan does passive-aggressive Christian comedy about Anthony Bourdain and applications to CNN. Forgets material mid-bit with audible sound effects.
Interview: Tony discusses Willie's tendency to forget jokes, his work at Equinox, Taiwanese background, military father turned pastor, and childhood experience running away at age 8.
- 80% Christian, 20% aggression makes him 100% passive-aggressive Prius driver.
- Forgot Anthony Bourdain reference mid-joke, applied to CNN as his replacement.
- Forgets material and makes loud audible noise, breaking set multiple times.
- Reveals he ran away from home at 8 years old to grandparents via train.
Set: Second-time Kill Tony performer discusses dating at 30, attraction to younger women, and relationship with paraplegic girlfriend. Very dark ending joke about wheelchair sex.
Interview: Tony expresses concern about Scott's angry aura and creepy energy. Scott discusses dog training, Michael Vick jersey, refusal to reveal creepy stories, and defensive demeanor throughout.
- Dating at 30 is like shopping at Ross where nobody really shops.
- Girlfriend is paraplegic in wheelchair; references their sex life darkly.
- Tony describes Scott as exuding an aura of anger and negative energy; visible sweat on forehead.
- Refuses to answer what's creepy about him; defensive about Michael Vick jersey.
Set: Black comedian observes racial differences in how white vs. Black friends say goodbye on phone. Short set with observations about excuses and communication styles.
Interview: Tony roasts his oversized shirt with tiny pocket, inquires about his work in real estate loans, and explores his dating preferences and physical interests.
- White friends make excuses to get off phone like 'I gotta walk my cat'.
- Black friends' phone goodbyes involve opening doors and walking up stairs.
- Panel roasts his extremely oversized shirt with pocket barely visible.
- Jeremiah stays in pregnant character with swollen feet, refusing to break.
Seth
Set: Former attorney discusses punctuation ambiguity in dating rejection, marriage as a group project, and his recent home birth experience with three kids.
Interview: Tony praises set despite unclear punctuation joke. Discussion of Seth's move from North Carolina, law background, wife's accounting job at USC, recent living room childbirth, and Subaru ownership.
- Girl's rejection either hurtful (comma period) or excusable (colon period).
- Wife views marriage as group project; he's the project being fixed.
- Takes poster board out of mic stand at 57 seconds for visual punchline.
- Reveals wife just gave birth at home last week; third child at age 31.
Set: Found out he's attractive from stripper (Mercedes) reading affirmations from a card. Short set ending with cow fart backpack invention in Argentina.
Interview: Kiernan discusses being cheap at strip clubs ($12), his advertising job, mother's inappropriate humor, and rafting on the 4th of July in Ohio.
- Stripper reads affirmations from card for $20 tip; includes 'nothing like your father'.
- Cow fart backpack in Argentina converts methane to energy.
- Cough interrupts set but becomes accidental comedic tag.
- Panel mocks his cheap spending at strip clubs and defensive responses.
Set: Regular weekly performer with new minute each week. Set about first girlfriend having sex with emergency brake instead of him, pregnancy announcement as Jake from State Farm joke.
Interview: Tony confirms Malcolm quits jobs frequently, details about current restaurant opportunity, previous recycling job ending, and future plans to be a server at Barney's Beanery.
- First girlfriend pleasured emergency brake instead of him during car makeout.
- Girlfriend called him 'Honda Core' after brake sex; next day announced pregnancy.
- Tony announces Malcolm will tour Michigan with Danny Brown and Jeremiah Watkins.
- Malcolm performs new written minute weekly on show; one of rising young talents.
Set: Sri Lankan comic discusses grandfather's heart attack and refusal to go to hospital immediately, prioritizing church and tea. Relatable story about religious priorities over health.
Interview: Discussed previous appearance with boyfriend, Inland Empire location, Chili's bartender job, weight gain struggles, veganism, braces, and celebration plans for getting them off.
- Grandfather refuses hospital after heart attack; finishes tea first.
- Jesus had last supper, so grandfather won't die on empty stomach.
- Wearing a duvet/pillowcase as outfit; Tony and panel mock extensively.
- Has braces for 6 more months; plans to eat beef jerky after removal.
Set: First-timer discusses trying to spice up marriage bedroom with jelly bean shorts. Husband distracted by spinach going bad instead; reflects on marital sex evolution and lack of reciprocal effort.
Interview: Tony praises genuine first-time performance. Discussed husband's spinach comment, previous experience writing sexual parody songs, waxing specialist job, customer hygiene issues, and explicit anatomical details.
- Husband noticed spinach going bad instead of appreciating jelly bean shorts.
- Used to do explicit acts for dates; now marriage requires nothing from her.
- Tony notes she nailed the minute timing perfectly on first try.
- Reveals she's professional waxing specialist; discusses customer genital hygiene issues.
- Performs sexual parody at Charlie Chaplin House; burned bridges with explicit content.