KILL TONY Wiki

Kill Tony #600 — Chris Distefano

📅 February 27, 2023 📍 Austin, TX Vulcan Gas Company 🎤 12 comedians ⭐ 3 regulars

Guests: Chris Distefano

Open on YouTube ↗

Lineup

1

Hans Kim

Regular

Set: Korean-American comic doing material on outliving white people, dating a 24-year-old Jewish woman who vapes, and recently taking up drone piloting.

Interview: Discussed his new 24-year-old girlfriend he met at the Vulcan, her Jewish background, sensitive testicles, drone piloting, and hickeys from Tampa.

Bits:
  • White people age in dog years, so he made friends early to learn about death.
  • 24-year-old girlfriend vapes; he jokes about making white stuff come out instead.
  • Has been drone piloting and going up to hotel rooms looking in.
Moments:
  • Hans reveals hickeys on his neck from weekend in Tampa
  • Discussion of Uncle Laser's pool party in Tampa last weekend
2

Morgee

Set: Female comic does material about her alcoholic mother who drank and drove, a pine tree stopping her, trying roofies, and her arrests for shoplifting and drug possession.

Interview: Discussed her three arrests as a minor, juvie time, being technically an orphan, estranged hobo father, recent breakup, and sexual history.

Bits:
  • Mom drank and drove until a pine tree intervened and stopped her.
  • Tried roofies but got wrong dose, can't remember anything.
Moments:
  • Reveals she was arrested three times before age 18
  • Discusses estranged father who is a hobo in Corpus Christi
  • Talks about ex-boyfriend who unfollowed her on Instagram
3

Nathaniel Bagley

Set: Comic discusses UFO abductions as cover for blown-out assholes, and his current homelessness living in a Chevy Spark while dealing with recent brain damage and concussion.

Interview: Revealed OD two years ago followed by concussion and brain damage, works at smoke shop, living in car, uses drugs, went to 6 Flags on acid and mushrooms.

Bits:
  • UFO abductions as excuse for blown-out asshole the next morning.
  • Living in car, wishes he had nineties drug PSA confidence to deny alcoholism.
Moments:
  • Has visible dent in skull from concussion at work
  • Took two tabs of acid and two grams of mushrooms at 6 Flags on Halloween
4

David Lucas

Regular

Set: David Lucas, a regular, does material on women's lack of bargaining power besides sex, their interruptions during TV, and period-based ultimatums.

Interview: Discussed his clothing choices, golf attire, pool playing, swimming ability, vaping, and recent bad weekend in Detroit where the mic went out.

Bits:
  • Women have no bargaining chips except pussy, useless during menstruation.
  • Women talk during TV, get mad when paused, quiet when play resumes.
Moments:
  • Had a bad weekend in Detroit where mic went out during final show
  • Tony and David roast Chris Distefano about appearance and supposed pawn shop ownership
5

Regina Frank

Set: Regina Frank's debut set includes jokes about not having sex in a long time, her pubic hair looking like 9/11, lesbian gynecology, fat strip club idea, and erotic cookbook.

Interview: First-time comic from Sacramento working at Texas Roadhouse, lives with brother's family on loft bed, hasn't had sex since July, very picky about relationships.

Bits:
  • Bush so long it looks like 9/11, wants inside job.
  • Starting fat girl strip club called Cinnamon Rolls with attached pastry.
  • Writing erotic novel cookbook titled 50 Shades of Gravy.
Moments:
  • Reveals this is her absolute first time doing stand-up
  • Has photo of Tony as lock screen on phone from previous Kill Tony show
  • Admitted to creepily sending ex-boyfriend portrait she drew of him staring at her
6

Tina Youkhana

Set: Tina Youkhana does material on being biracial (Assyrian/Karen), body hair visibility, waxing awkwardness, and a trip to Serbia with her sugar daddy instead of France.

Interview: Chicago-based four-year comic, chef at vegan restaurant, very sexual and crude humor, visiting Austin, does shows around country.

Bits:
  • Biracial struggle: too white for Middle Eastern, too hairy for white.
  • Waxing awkward because they rip off white side then Middle Eastern side.
  • Friend called sugar daddy because he paid for Serbia trip; splenda daddies take you there.
Moments:
  • Claims to have a pegging fetish and alludes to it multiple times
  • Reveals she has OnlyFans (or jokes about it)
7

Ahren Belisle

Set: Golden ticket winner from Canada with cerebral palsy who is mute. Set jokes about his disability, circumcision despite nearly dying from umbilical cord, and priest abuse.

Interview: Won golden ticket last week, first performance as winner, pursuing US residency with legal help, grateful for Kill Tony opportunities, sharp wit and quick comebacks.

Bits:
  • Disability not weird; circumcised as dying baby because priest wouldn't touch it.
Moments:
  • Golden ticket winner making first performance as defending champion
  • Pursuing American residency; lawyer in audience helped facilitate the process
  • Uses Bluetooth to communicate via typing; engages in rapid-fire roasting with Tony
8

Eric Allen

Set: Eric Allen from Atlanta does material on economy being tough, people being rude, jokes about legalizing one murder per year, and Black Friday violence prevention.

Interview: Former aerospace engineer from Atlanta, now runs adult rec sports company (kickball, volleyball, cornhole). Married 10 years with 7-year-old and 19-year-old from previous relationship. Second time performing.

Bits:
  • Should legalize one murder per year so people are nicer to each other.
  • Black Friday would change if everyone locked and loaded; people would be polite.
Moments:
  • Revealed he's a semi-pro kickball player who has competed for 12 years
  • Mentioned he'll be a grandfather in two months; has 19-year-old with kid on the way
9

Eric Biggs

Set: Eric Biggs does material on getting engaged, girlfriend's train obsession, missing his dad who chases Corvette-shirt-wearing men, and graduating with 3.0 blood alcohol level.

Interview: From Paris, Missouri, doing stand-up four years, accidentally lit on fire due to gasoline misunderstanding as mechanic, engaged to former waitress.

Bits:
  • Fiancée loves trains so much he thought she was autistic; turned out she's a horror.
  • Dad now old white man who chases other men to see if they own Corvettes.
  • Graduated college with 3.0 blood alcohol level instead of GPA.
Moments:
  • Revealed he was accidentally lit on fire and doesn't understand gasoline despite being mechanic
  • Just moved to Austin from Missouri a month ago with fiancée
11

Chad Mitchell Rogers

Set: Chad does material on the Chad stereotype (straight white douchebag), Midwestern white guy photo poses, and guys trying to steal girlfriends.

Interview: From Detroit, moved to LA seven years ago, doing stand-up 2.5 years, started memorizing specials at age 8, appeared on Young and the Restless, does YouTube drill sergeant content.

Bits:
  • Chad stereotype: straight white douchebag mid-20s; he fits the description.
  • Every Midwestern guy takes same photo: sideways, silly, side-eye poses.
Moments:
  • Girlfriend Jennifer also performs surprise set, absolutely destroys him with material
  • Jennifer's jokes about closet space and bidet outlets devastating to Chad