Kill Tony #600 — Chris Distefano
Guests: Chris Distefano
Lineup
Set: Korean-American comic doing material on outliving white people, dating a 24-year-old Jewish woman who vapes, and recently taking up drone piloting.
Interview: Discussed his new 24-year-old girlfriend he met at the Vulcan, her Jewish background, sensitive testicles, drone piloting, and hickeys from Tampa.
- White people age in dog years, so he made friends early to learn about death.
- 24-year-old girlfriend vapes; he jokes about making white stuff come out instead.
- Has been drone piloting and going up to hotel rooms looking in.
- Hans reveals hickeys on his neck from weekend in Tampa
- Discussion of Uncle Laser's pool party in Tampa last weekend
Morgee
Set: Female comic does material about her alcoholic mother who drank and drove, a pine tree stopping her, trying roofies, and her arrests for shoplifting and drug possession.
Interview: Discussed her three arrests as a minor, juvie time, being technically an orphan, estranged hobo father, recent breakup, and sexual history.
- Mom drank and drove until a pine tree intervened and stopped her.
- Tried roofies but got wrong dose, can't remember anything.
- Reveals she was arrested three times before age 18
- Discusses estranged father who is a hobo in Corpus Christi
- Talks about ex-boyfriend who unfollowed her on Instagram
Set: Comic discusses UFO abductions as cover for blown-out assholes, and his current homelessness living in a Chevy Spark while dealing with recent brain damage and concussion.
Interview: Revealed OD two years ago followed by concussion and brain damage, works at smoke shop, living in car, uses drugs, went to 6 Flags on acid and mushrooms.
- UFO abductions as excuse for blown-out asshole the next morning.
- Living in car, wishes he had nineties drug PSA confidence to deny alcoholism.
- Has visible dent in skull from concussion at work
- Took two tabs of acid and two grams of mushrooms at 6 Flags on Halloween
Set: David Lucas, a regular, does material on women's lack of bargaining power besides sex, their interruptions during TV, and period-based ultimatums.
Interview: Discussed his clothing choices, golf attire, pool playing, swimming ability, vaping, and recent bad weekend in Detroit where the mic went out.
- Women have no bargaining chips except pussy, useless during menstruation.
- Women talk during TV, get mad when paused, quiet when play resumes.
- Had a bad weekend in Detroit where mic went out during final show
- Tony and David roast Chris Distefano about appearance and supposed pawn shop ownership
Set: Regina Frank's debut set includes jokes about not having sex in a long time, her pubic hair looking like 9/11, lesbian gynecology, fat strip club idea, and erotic cookbook.
Interview: First-time comic from Sacramento working at Texas Roadhouse, lives with brother's family on loft bed, hasn't had sex since July, very picky about relationships.
- Bush so long it looks like 9/11, wants inside job.
- Starting fat girl strip club called Cinnamon Rolls with attached pastry.
- Writing erotic novel cookbook titled 50 Shades of Gravy.
- Reveals this is her absolute first time doing stand-up
- Has photo of Tony as lock screen on phone from previous Kill Tony show
- Admitted to creepily sending ex-boyfriend portrait she drew of him staring at her
Set: Tina Youkhana does material on being biracial (Assyrian/Karen), body hair visibility, waxing awkwardness, and a trip to Serbia with her sugar daddy instead of France.
Interview: Chicago-based four-year comic, chef at vegan restaurant, very sexual and crude humor, visiting Austin, does shows around country.
- Biracial struggle: too white for Middle Eastern, too hairy for white.
- Waxing awkward because they rip off white side then Middle Eastern side.
- Friend called sugar daddy because he paid for Serbia trip; splenda daddies take you there.
- Claims to have a pegging fetish and alludes to it multiple times
- Reveals she has OnlyFans (or jokes about it)
Set: Golden ticket winner from Canada with cerebral palsy who is mute. Set jokes about his disability, circumcision despite nearly dying from umbilical cord, and priest abuse.
Interview: Won golden ticket last week, first performance as winner, pursuing US residency with legal help, grateful for Kill Tony opportunities, sharp wit and quick comebacks.
- Disability not weird; circumcised as dying baby because priest wouldn't touch it.
- Golden ticket winner making first performance as defending champion
- Pursuing American residency; lawyer in audience helped facilitate the process
- Uses Bluetooth to communicate via typing; engages in rapid-fire roasting with Tony
Set: Eric Allen from Atlanta does material on economy being tough, people being rude, jokes about legalizing one murder per year, and Black Friday violence prevention.
Interview: Former aerospace engineer from Atlanta, now runs adult rec sports company (kickball, volleyball, cornhole). Married 10 years with 7-year-old and 19-year-old from previous relationship. Second time performing.
- Should legalize one murder per year so people are nicer to each other.
- Black Friday would change if everyone locked and loaded; people would be polite.
- Revealed he's a semi-pro kickball player who has competed for 12 years
- Mentioned he'll be a grandfather in two months; has 19-year-old with kid on the way
Set: Eric Biggs does material on getting engaged, girlfriend's train obsession, missing his dad who chases Corvette-shirt-wearing men, and graduating with 3.0 blood alcohol level.
Interview: From Paris, Missouri, doing stand-up four years, accidentally lit on fire due to gasoline misunderstanding as mechanic, engaged to former waitress.
- Fiancée loves trains so much he thought she was autistic; turned out she's a horror.
- Dad now old white man who chases other men to see if they own Corvettes.
- Graduated college with 3.0 blood alcohol level instead of GPA.
- Revealed he was accidentally lit on fire and doesn't understand gasoline despite being mechanic
- Just moved to Austin from Missouri a month ago with fiancée
Uncle Lazer
Set: Chad does material on the Chad stereotype (straight white douchebag), Midwestern white guy photo poses, and guys trying to steal girlfriends.
Interview: From Detroit, moved to LA seven years ago, doing stand-up 2.5 years, started memorizing specials at age 8, appeared on Young and the Restless, does YouTube drill sergeant content.
- Chad stereotype: straight white douchebag mid-20s; he fits the description.
- Every Midwestern guy takes same photo: sideways, silly, side-eye poses.
- Girlfriend Jennifer also performs surprise set, absolutely destroys him with material
- Jennifer's jokes about closet space and bidet outlets devastating to Chad