Uncle Laser

Set about bodily autonomy, hating people who ask for help moving furniture, and joking about AIDS. Ended with asking to borrow a pickup truck for a move.

• Don't care what people are, but hates people asking for furniture moving help
• Would rather have AIDS than help move a California king down stairs

Uncle Laser discussed acting in a western with a rape scene, being paid $10k, asking a French actress how hard to hit her between takes, and ultimately clotheslining her when the director called action.

• Asked French actress between takes if hitting her too hard for rape scene
• When director called action, clotheslined the French actress to hell

Set about his appearance leading to a cuckolding proposition at a bar, with a married couple offering him money to sleep with the wife. He declines due to her appearance, comparing her to a worn car seat.

• Face for cuckolding rather than radio, offered $4000 by husband to have sex with wife
• Woman's skin compared to old Buick car seat, declines offer even for increased payment

Set about offering cocaine to Jehovah's Witnesses, one getting hit by Greyhound bus after bike ride, and anecdote about meeting woman at McDonald's in Chicago, doing crack, and sexual encounter while accidentally thinking of Tony Hinchcliffe.

• Tries to offer Jehovah's Witness teenager cocaine to enhance his bike ride downhill
• Met woman in Chicago McDonald's, did crack together, during sex thought of Tony Hinchcliffe Vanity Fair cover

Jokes about ex-girlfriend at Olive Garden who assaulted him with eggplant parmesan, domestic violence with women falling like newborn deer, ex jerked him off with exfoliating glove in shower from behind.

• Ex-girlfriend assaulted me with eggplant parm at Olive Garden, domestic violence is one-sided
• Ex jerked me off with exfoliating glove in shower from behind like a stranger

Uncle Laser tells a long, rambling story about being offered money to have sex with an ugly woman in Vegas while her husband watches, including details about wearing socks and losing the money at roulette.

• Vegas situation where man offers $4000 to sleep with ugly wife; her appearance compared to old leather and car seat.
• After losing money at roulette, returns to hotel room for another round with woman for $1000, lets man wear his socks.

Uncle Laser rants about social media censoring the word retard while allowing half-naked women selling products, and buying a pocket pussy after seeing a nature collaboration ad.

• Social media censors retard but allows half-naked women selling CBD and Delta 8.
• Nature page collaborates with pocket pussy company; he buys one for $69.99.