Kill Tony #435 — Don Barris, Walter Molinský, Perry Caravello
Guests: Don Barris · Walter Molinský · Perry Caravello
Lineup
Set: Gregory discusses his 20-year relationship ending due to his pubic hair being too long. He's now looking for apartments and dealing with the breakup aftermath.
Interview: Gregory revealed the breakup happened within a week, he started stand-up in 1999 and took a long break, and attended Greg Dean's comedy workshop. Panel members criticized his rambling and lack of punches.
- 20 years together, girlfriend breaks up citing pubic hair in her ass during sex.
- Tony calls his wife to verify the breakup story on air; number doesn't work.
- Don Barris compares Gregory to Woody Allen on Adderall, extremely critical feedback.
Set: Ari's first-ever stand-up set, performed same day after being in a bucket pull at 4:30 PM. She jokes about moving to LA, recycling, Instagram culture, and her first time on a stage.
Interview: Ari started stand-up today at 4:30 PM, has been told since age 8 she should do stand-up, works as a nanny. Panel praised her courage and delivery for a complete beginner.
- Instagram models' melting bodies will convince people to care about climate change.
- Atlanta has weed but not fancy strain names like LA's yellow dream and mom's trapdoor.
- First-time stand-up ever on Kill Tony main stage; Don Barris praises her for overcoming the hostile crowd.
- Attempts crowd work on Adam Driver lookalike; told timing and compliments aren't crowd work.
Set: Sean jokes about being a straight guy with gay face, being a first-generation American with Lebanese and Taiwanese parents, and being whitewashed. He discusses his CrossFit class opening.
Interview: Sean has been doing stand-up 4 months, from Orange County/Huntington Beach, works as a brand ambassador for Bitchin' Sauce, is 29 years old. Revealed he was engaged for 48 hours after a 6-year relationship.
- First-gen American from Aladdin and MoveOn magic carpet ride, product of Disney hub.
- Despite tiger mom and terrorist dad, he's actually whitewashed as hell.
- Perry threatens Sean and makes flirting comments; Don intervenes to keep show professional.
- Discussion of Sean's 48-hour engagement after 6-year relationship; fiancée said he wasn't worthy.
Set: William performs a new minute about being a Christian who plays Ouija board, hot-boxing his kid, being fired from a security camera factory for stealing candy cigarette machines.
Interview: William is a regular on Kill Tony who writes a new minute weekly. Recently joined LA Fitness, did burpees, has diabetes, aunt got cut in half by train. Performs burpees on stage to demonstrate.
- Christian who plays Ouija board; hot-boxed his kid who slept great—now worried he's dead.
- Fired from security camera factory for stealing candy cigarettes; it was dad's idea at Chuck-e-Cheese.
- William performs burpees on stage; demonstrates physical fitness; mentions diabetes.
- Perry grabs William's face; accusation of assault; William clarifies what was grabbed.
- Don Barris discusses William's aunt being cut in half by a train on Easter.
Set: Aaron jokes about being a father of two he never wanted, comparing kids to dogs and how you can get rid of dogs but not kids. His son is five and 100 pounds and can't wipe his ass.
Interview: Aaron is divorced with a 5-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter, has full-time custody. Works in motocross company, been doing stand-up 2 years. His father killed a woman; girlfriend is 20 years old.
- Never wanted kids; dogs are easier—you can just drop them in next town.
- Five-year-old 100 pounds, can't wipe his ass, tells dad he has waffle on his backside.
- Aaron mentions his father killed a lady; Don connects this to Aaron's dark comedy about killing kids and dogs.
- Explicit discussion of Aaron's sexual practices including coke, boner pills, and girlfriend's menstruation.
Set: David performs a clever set comparing Home Alone to a black kid's ordinary day, noting differences like real guns vs BB guns and distrust of police. Discusses how the movie would be different if he experienced it.
Interview: David buried his grandfather last Thursday from lung cancer; grandfather was 84. Panel engages in roasting back-and-forth; David mentions appearing on Tim Dylan's show previously.
- Home Alone as ordinary day for Black kid: steal money, fight bad guys, actual gun.
- Black home alone would use Colt 45, not BB gun; wouldn't let robbers return.
- Don Barris and David engage in mutual roasting about vegetables and physical appearance.
- Discussion of David's dead grandfather; connection to father who killed someone.
Set: Paul jokes about having resting murderer face, getting dumped for not respecting boundaries, and driving to ex's house and work to apologize, making her say he's emotionally high-maintenance.
Interview: Paul has been doing stand-up 5 years, all in LA (started in Arizona), from Pasadena. He's a professional Lord Voldemort at Halloween parties. Raised Mormon, never had a drink. Plays drums and piano; participates in Mexican drum-off against Joel Berg.
- Resting murderer face so he smiles to put people at ease; got dumped for not respecting boundaries.
- Drove to ex's house to apologize, then work; she said he's emotionally high-maintenance, made him cry.
- Paul performs Harry Potter scene as Lord Voldemort opposite GMAC's Snape impression.
- Paul participates in Mexican drum-off against Joel Berg; wins audience vote; becomes potential full-time drummer.
Set: Michael performs a surreal set mixing Eurasian identity, voodoo curses, Bigfoot blood, and requests help from Joe Rogan. Uses creative wordplay and absurdist humor about his circumstances.
Interview: Michael has Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS), wears bondage mask with zipper. Tony allows him to make jokes about inevitable death. Discusses his girlfriend, comedy training, and living situation. Joe Rogan appears via call and responds to Bigfoot blood request.
- Eurasian identity, voodoo curse in New Orleans, needs Bigfoot blood to reverse it.
- Clothes are breathable but he won't be in a couple years due to ALS.
- Michael requests Joe Rogan's help finding Bigfoot blood to cure Lou Gehrig's disease.
- Joe Rogan calls in via phone to respond; discusses his own Bigfoot search experience.
- Tony notes this is first time anyone used platform to ask Joe Rogan for a favor.
Set: Mike jokes about reading a book on plane for first time since college, being terrible with relationships but good with normal-sized boats, wanting adventure but cheating instead, and pitches Honey I Shrunk the Kids set in Nazi Germany.
Interview: Mike is 24, from Chicago suburbs (Aurora), started stand-up at 18, doing it 6 years. Recently attended Ding Dong show, brought Ari Monaghan as date, part of the kitchen crew at Comedy Store. Dropped out 16 credits short of college degree.
- Read book on plane for first time since college; opinions on Dr. Seuss unchanged.
- Honey I Shrunk the Kids but set in Nazi Germany with psychotherapy instead of technology.
- Mike mentions bringing Ari Monaghan as date to show; they met at Ding Dong show upstairs.
- Perry and Tony joke about Mike's dating prospects with Ari; discussion of baby-making.