KILL TONY Wiki

Kill Tony #552 — Punkie Johnson, Dicey

📅 March 15, 2022 📍 Austin, TX Vulcan Gas Company 🎤 9 comedians ⭐ 3 regulars

Guests: Punkie Johnson · Dicey

Open on YouTube ↗

Lineup

1

Hans Kim

Regular

Set: Political material about conservative women, observations on Asian men and attraction, crude sexual humor. Set showcased strong recovery after a rough opening.

Interview: Discussed socializing at festival, attempts to walk women to cars, virginity loss to a powerful Black woman, college experience with low GPA at Georgia Tech, basketball skills.

Bits:
  • Conservative women as daughters of confederacy who keep breaking up with him
  • Asian men are not considered sexy despite creating Asian women
Moments:
  • Lost audience early with political material at 4:30pm matinee show
  • Red band and Tony laughed hard at PBW acronym confusion
2

Alden Shaub

Set: Repetitive one-joke set built entirely around phrase 'big fat cock.' Used variations across multiple premises (relationships, auto repair, passwords, Caesar's pizza).

Interview: Host trivia games at multiple venues for 8-9 years, makes homemade hummus with Instant Pot, three years of stand-up experience all in Austin, from Michigan.

Bits:
  • One-liner joke structure repeated across multiple premises using 'big fat cock'
Moments:
  • Punkie praised his laugh as contagious, noted it made people pregnant
  • Tony encouraged him to continue developing material beyond single joke
3

Nick Deez

Set: Self-deprecating humor about step-family dynamics, jokes about stepson's paternity, crude humor about mother and ex-boyfriend. Four years of stand-up experience.

Interview: Traveled from Virginia with two friends, recently moved out from ex-girlfriend with kid one month ago, works at T-Mobile, has hand tattoos, likes cooking and drawing.

Bits:
  • Stepson shows him blank paper as joke about his missing father
  • Crude innuendo about taking ex's place sexually
Moments:
  • Actual baby in audience started crying during interview
  • Dicey tried to set him up with single women in audience
4

David Lucas

Regular

Set: Hard-hitting material about Jussie Smollett lying, Justin Bieber jail concerns, dismissal of 'racist in snow' concept. Sharp roast-style comedy with strong delivery.

Interview: Just flew in from LA, was drinking with musician Jelly Roll, threw up at Atlanta airport before boarding, first-class privilege, upcoming shows in San Diego and Florida.

Bits:
  • Jussie Smollett wouldn't get called slur in Chicago snow—racism is heat-dependent
  • Justin Bieber going to jail described as vacation for gay men
Moments:
  • Revealed he threw up at Atlanta airport but swallowed vomit back down
  • Dicey roasted him about condoms and tampons, shooting Ricky reference
5

Jared Nathan

Set: Dark cannibalism joke about cooking human body parts and pairing with chianti. Known for globally delayed speech pattern; Canadian with golden ticket status.

Interview: Traveled internationally, received golden ticket award allowing eternal performing access, sexually explicit banter with Dicey about first interracial experience, demonstrated tongue techniques.

Bits:
  • Cannibalism joke: BBQ human body parts, smoke joint, pair with chianti
Moments:
  • Golden ticket awarded—only 8-9 people ever won this lifetime performing privilege
  • D Madness left stage during sexually explicit Dicey banter
  • Dicey directed sexually explicit tongue demonstration with camera instruction
6

Michael Ridley

Set: Half-Filipino, half-white identity material ('fortune cracker'), CDC vaccination joke, fake vaccine card punchlines, Virginia background. High-energy delivery.

Interview: Eight-year Austin veteran from Virginia Beach, parts manager at auto body shop, builds Miatas, Mid-Engine Corvette damage story, married to white woman Chelsea for six years, military kid who lived in Okinawa after seeing Tokyo Drift.

Bits:
  • Half-Filipino/half-white: fortune cracker with dual voice impressions
  • Coughed in unvaccinated Tennessee rednecks' mouths at fake CDC work
  • Fake vaccine cards from Office Depot and library cardstock
Moments:
  • Revealed he saw Tokyo Drift movie, then moved to Okinawa one month later to live his dream
  • Wife Chelsea wants him to keep the Asian mullet for character/sex
  • Secured spot for secret show tomorrow after bucket pull set
7

Rodney Smith

Set: Pronouns for fat people not mentally ill, Lizzo weight jokes, single man pursuing sex in Texas, technique advice on pursuing women. Rapid-fire punchlines.

Interview: Just started stand-up seriously two weeks ago, aerospace mechanic with arthritis, now in finance, made viral Joe Biden meme, Donald Trump Jr. follows him, age 32.

Bits:
  • Reserve pronouns they/them for fat people, not mentally ill
  • Lizzo never walked a mile in her own shoes
  • Dating technique: short/sweet opening but don't be short physically
Moments:
  • First stand-up set ever, extremely nervous about the show opportunity
  • Rapped to Streets of Philadelphia beat after arthritis joke
  • Punkie criticized him for Lizzo jokes right after Trump jokes—contradictory politics
8

Liz Splatt

Set: Three consecutive abortion jokes ('dicks so good you save for abortion,' second amendment joke, babies don't like abortion). Cut set short intentionally.

Interview: Gained massive followers from previous Kill Tony appearance, fake porn Instagram impersonator created, caught drinking, roommate drama with five housemates including agoraphobic woman, exposes possums, rooming with exposed baby.

Bits:
  • Having good sex justifies saving money for abortion
  • Second amendment/cowboys reference (minimal joke detail)
  • Babies don't like abortion jokes
Moments:
  • Ended set early despite time remaining, strong confidence
  • Punkie became upset about racial implications of her material
  • Booked multiple gigs from Kill Tony appearance alone
9

William Montgomery

Regular

Set: Dark murder jokes about stabbing 30 homeless people with nightstick ('I am the nightstick'), Pete Davidson/Kanye space joke. Deliberately shocking material.

Interview: Longest-running regular in show history, gets new minute every episode, discusses zombie Nintendo games, makes chicken noodle soup with hot dogs, mistakenly calls Filipinos 'jalapenos,' half-Filipino identity.

Bits:
  • South by Southwest tradition: murders drunk homeless people with nightstick—'I am the nightstick'
  • Pete Davidson space travel with Kanye paying his bill
Moments:
  • Called Filipino people 'jalapenos' instead of 'Filipino' accidentally while high
  • Punkie called security over escalating dark material about murdering homeless people
  • Dicey compared him favorably to earlier redheaded rapper, better personality