Kill Tony #551 — Josh Barnett
Guests: Josh Barnett
Lineup
Set: Topical set about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars, making jokes about Jada Pinkett Smith's infidelity and the absurdity of the incident.
Interview: Hans discussed punching someone over a burrito, his Ukrainian girlfriend, and getting bitten by a dog at a friend's house while playing Settlers of Catan.
- If she wasn't hot we wouldn't have all fucked her already
- Chris Rock should have said he was just trying to fuck Will's wife
- Hans reveals he punched someone for throwing a burrito at him
- Hans gets bitten by a dog at friend's house during Settlers of Catan game
Set: Self-deprecating set about not having sex, comparing food to sexual satisfaction, and a punchline about Five Guys burgers as a sexual substitute.
Interview: Discussed attending an awkward wedding with her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at the same table, her shyness, and receiving an unsolicited request to rate someone's penis on Instagram.
- Both sex and good food make me moan then vomit
- Housemate thought she had overnight guest but it was Five Guys
- Christina receives and rates a dick pic sent by stranger for $50, refunds the money
- Tony and Josh rate the unseen penis photo based on Christina's reaction, she gives it 101/100
Set: Dark comedy about booking an orgy for husband's birthday, pepper spray during roleplay, and left-handed jokes about stabbing with scissors, ending with forensic humor.
Interview: JC discussed being in the band Tank Top with her husband Chris, her new job as dental technician, and performing in a 90s cover band called The Smashing Pixies.
- Tried to spice things up with pepper spray, led to blind roleplay
- Had to order special left-handed scissors to stab husband, forensics proved it
- JC performs Johnny Cash's 'Folsom Prison Blues' after bombing with comedy
- Tony praises her music performance after poor comedy set
Set: Michael performs a unique set where he sings his jokes due to a degenerative disease affecting his speech, discussing his vocal exercises and health condition.
Interview: Michael plays 'What's Worse' game with Josh Barnett, improvising worst versions of occupations like dancer, mortician, therapist, and gynecologist through singing.
- Can only sing from now on because vocal exercises make him rename tone
- Michael reveals he has a degenerative disease that kills you, retired months ago but returning to perform
- Josh Barnett suggests Michael play 'What's Worse' improv game
- Michael improvises worst versions of occupations through singing
Tre Pack
Set: Trey makes jokes about his sisters exclusively dating Black men, being the family favorite, and his girlfriend's compression therapy being a euphemism for sex.
Interview: Discussed weight loss challenge progress (gained 16 lbs to 415.8), working security at Vulcan Gas Company, eating habits including frequent Taco Bell and Whataburger runs.
- Sisters exclusively date Black guys, means he's dad's favorite son
- Girlfriend calls sex 'compression therapy' because of his weight
- Trey weighed on stage, shows weight gain from 396 to 415.8 lbs in 2 months
- Discusses eating habits: Taco Bell and Whataburger multiple times daily while high
Set: Canadian comedian with thick accent makes jokes about Austin scooters, tipping over them, women's names, and a punchline comparing Justin Trudeau to being ridden.
Interview: Jared discussed leaving Austin early next morning, his love of fire trucks and building blocks, visiting Lady Bird Lake, and Golden Corral eating habits.
- Austin has too many scooters, keeps tipping on them
- Women named Brian, will rename to Justin Trudeau because always on his ass
- Golden ticket holder confirmed; last appearance in Austin for weeks
- Jared discusses love of fire trucks and building blocks, Tony gives him a fire truck book
- Discusses eating 5 plates at Golden Corral while high
Set: Irish comedian compares Irish vs American girls, dirty talk, and tells a story about cunnilingus where his partner asks his name, then asks audience member.
Interview: Aaron discussed being in New York for St. Patrick's Day, attempting to get an American pregnant for green card, and noting Austinites lead with political statements.
- Irish girls only do dirty talk with accents, American girls need audio narration
- During cunnilingus partner asks his name, he asks audience member instead
- Received blowjob that sounded like Shania Twain song
- Aaron discusses finding random political statements from Austin residents
- Aaron recites edgy example of political statement overheard in Austin
- Flying back to Canada next day, leaving end of June
Set: Victoria performs a 29-second set comparing dating a child and alcoholic, mentioning bed-wetting, tantrums, spilled food, and monitors.
Interview: Victoria admits to being a raging alcoholic, arrested with third-degree felony for passing out drunk in car last week, confined to Travis County with ankle monitor.
- Dating child and alcoholic similar: both wet bed, throw tantrums, spill food
- Victoria reveals third-degree felony arrest from last week for drunk in car
- Wears ankle monitor on stage, confined to Travis County
- Admits to multiple rehab stints and current struggles with withdrawal
- Her boyfriend Angel David made to perform impromptu set immediately after
Set: William opens with threats if anyone jokes about his bald head, then performs extensive material about Will Smith/Chris Rock Oscars incident via Bagger Vance references.
Interview: William discussed his recent fight training, Tony speculated he would lose to Josh Barnett, and they critiqued his $600 eBay shirt with odd back pocket design.
- If anyone jokes about bald head, Tony will slap them
- Putin won't release G.I. Jane 2 in Russian theaters (Oscars reference)
- Extended Bagger Vance material: Will Smith's movie roles contradict his Oscars violence
- William reveals he spent 2 hours reading about Bagger Vance on Wikipedia instead of watching the movie
- William admits to never watching The Legend of Bagger Vance
- Josh Barnett acknowledges William as most normal person on stage all night
- William purchased $600 garbage bag-looking shirt on eBay with useless back pocket
- Josh critiques William's shirt as looking like girlfriend's breasts or meth pocket
- William demonstrates shadow boxing, admits he's been lying about fight training