KILL TONY Wiki

Kill Tony #598 — Brian Moses, Thai Rivera

📅 February 12, 2023 📍 Austin, TX Vulcan Gas Company 🎤 10 comedians ⭐ 3 regulars

Guests: Brian Moses · Thai Rivera

Open on YouTube ↗

Lineup

1

Hans Kim

Regular

Set: Topical set covering drone flying, Biden's State of the Union, airline safety, and Kobe's helicopter crash. Strong execution with timely references.

Interview: Hans discussed meeting a Jewish girl, touring, kissing a couple at a meet-and-greet, and swimming with goggles. Revealed homophobic tendencies despite kissing a man.

Bits:
  • Drone flying as Asian man feels like structural engineer from Turkey
  • Biden praising union troops while Kamala reminds him Civil War ended
  • Kobe might have survived if he put seat back in upright position
Moments:
  • Crowd erupts when Hans admits kissing a man, confuses him with homophobic comment
2

Samantha Minney

Set: Self-deprecating set about gym culture, being threatening-looking, birth control, and Planned Parenthood. Bit about looking like she'd keep babies.

Interview: Samantha struggled in interview, gave minimal answers, appeared withdrawn and shell-shocked. Tony struggled to extract meaningful information from her.

Bits:
  • Only birth control is dating guys who look like low sperm count
  • Most threatening thing is she looks like she'd keep the baby
  • Planned Parenthood hates that she doesn't use birth control
Moments:
  • Interview becomes awkward as Samantha gives one-word answers and appears disconnected
3

Ahren Belisle

Set: Cerebral palsy comedian tackles woke culture and the word 'handicapped.' Attacks internet culture and middle-aged white women who police language.

Interview: Extended interview covering cerebral palsy details, sex life, Instagram content creation, and immigration lawyer sponsorship from previous show.

Bits:
  • Karen from internet told him handicapped is offensive to disabled people
  • Middle-aged white women policing language while in handicapped bathroom stalls
Moments:
  • Brian Moses makes harsh crack about Tony with polio, sets tone for roasting
  • Extended interview with multiple panelists roasting and being roasted in turn
4

David Lucas

Regular

Set: Edgy set about dating, Lizzo's appearance, confidence, and titties. Sharp commentary on body standards and celebrity culture.

Interview: Discussed Super Bowl Planters commercial, history with Ty Rivera at tribal Cafe, Rose Battle legacy, and Vegas appearances.

Bits:
  • Ever since Lizzo, hoes got too much confidence
  • Lizzo worst type of fat, fat with no titties
  • Gym out of pocket man don't help if girl won't do sit-ups
Moments:
  • Mentioned Planters Super Bowl commercial appearance, panel jokes about placement
  • Discussed Rose Battle legacy and roasting Corey Feldman on the show
5

Elliot Thompson

Set: Philosophical set about money, depression, privilege, and the pandemic. Contrast between rich and poor depression; jokes about SSRIs vs actual money.

Interview: Discussed bird watching hobby with binoculars, being from Brooklyn, visiting Austin for 10 days, broke lifestyle, and love of women.

Bits:
  • Rich people only ones who can be truly depressed, poor just have life
  • Instead of SSRI prescription, prescribe him seven hundred dollars
Moments:
  • Mentioned bird watching with binoculars, becomes recurring joke about blue cardinals
  • Gets booked on secret show Thursday night
6

Zeb Green

Set: First-time performer extremely out of breath, self-deprecating jokes about being fat and trans-fat. Set hampered by physical exhaustion.

Interview: From Palestine Texas, former aerospace industry salesman, disabled due to back injuries and spinal cord stimulator. Trying comedy as new pursuit.

Bits:
  • I'm so fat hard to find clothing, have to use curtains
  • Just got to Austin, excited to chase dream without running
  • I'm part of trans community, trans-fat community, fully transitioned
Moments:
  • Extremely out of breath performing, Tony notes seeing heart palpitations on stage
  • Mentioned father kidnapped him to Mexico at age 12 to change diapers
7

Uncle Lazer

Set: High-energy Texas comedy about cocaine culture, sex dysfunction from cocaine, and strangers' houses. Extremely animated and in-character throughout.

Interview: Six months into comedy, from Houston, paid Tony a thousand dollars from Super Bowl bet on Eagles, wears ostrich and anteater boots.

Bits:
  • Cocaine users want to sniff keys with best friends after beer
  • Can't get dick hard on cocaine at stranger's house on beanbag
  • Every hundred dollar bill has cocaine residue, can make kilo and half
Moments:
  • Paid Tony actual cash from Super Bowl betting loss with dramatic flair
  • Extreme character work and energy captivates crowd despite controversial content
8

Marcus Bond

Set: Set about needing black barber, Mercury retrograde, astrology jokes. Solid crowd-pleasing material about moving to Austin and friend's astrology obsession.

Interview: Moved to Austin one month ago, started comedy six years ago in Milwaukee, also did New Orleans and Chicago. Works at Cosmic Coffee.

Bits:
  • Can't go to white barber, got job offer after bad haircut
  • Friend's Mercury retrograde obsession leads to abundant hoes at club
  • Now tracking Mercury with telescope because friend insisted hoes were out
Moments:
  • Gets booked on secret show Thursday night after interview
9

Jameisha Albo

Set: Body-positive set about weight loss, fitness app goals, wanting both aesthetics and health. Funny about conflicting beauty and health standards.

Interview: Third appearance, opened for Tony in Houston sold-out show, writing cookbook with pastry chef who worked with Ramsay/Bourdain, producing comedy festival.

Bits:
  • Down a quarter pound without gym, just from big shit
  • Want to see penis and have big ass and titties simultaneously
  • Can't fit all three fitness goals into fitness app goals
Moments:
  • Third Kill Tony appearance, already getting booked on shows
  • Writing cookbook with experienced pastry chef and making comedy festival
10

William Montgomery

Regular

Set: Rapid-fire topical jokes: three rappers found dead, Biden, gentrification, fortune cookies. Red Band roast jokes on AM radio porn and gluten-free.

Interview: Claims he was on Pringles Super Bowl commercial saying 'once you pop you don't stop,' conflict with D Madness, claw machine collecting at Cracker Barrel.

Bits:
  • Three rappers found dead in Michigan, won't let son become rapper
  • Nothing gets him hard like gentrifying Head Start sinners
  • Million year old brain found in England is Biden traveling UK
Moments:
  • Disputes Super Bowl commercial credit with D Madness, claims he said the Pringles line
  • Claims to have met Ja Rule at Nashville airport about commercial
  • Tension with D Madness over various jokes and criticisms throughout interview