Kill Tony #724 — Joe DeRosa, Ari Matti
Guests: Joe DeRosa · Ari Matti
Lineup
Set: Lucas opens with complaints about modern women and squirting, compares it to Ugg boots trend, discusses mattress damage and hydration issues with crude humor.
Interview: Tony and panel joke about his large head, discuss his recent Killers of Kill Tony tour with other comedians, his food rider, and his sober living situation.
- Girls didn't squirt during slavery because they were dehydrated
- Squirting came out with Ugg boots; it's piss not discharge
- Hydration joke about mimosa-ass piss being strong as Clorox
- Joe DeRosa and Ari Matti extensively roast David's large head with callbacks
- Discussion of his Killers of Kill Tony tour with Martin Phillips and others
Set: Taylor does a mixed set with shock humor about dating violence, a sick dog, AI fears, crack cocaine experience, and driverless cars with homeless people washing windshields.
Interview: Discusses his 4 years in standup mostly in Atlanta, recent move to Austin, sobriety journey, two psych ward stays for alcoholism and suicidal ideation, 30-50 twisted tea cans daily habit.
- Italian stereotype about hitting girlfriend after learning heritage
- Dog riding skateboard and smoking cigarettes is sick
- Homeless person washing windshield on driverless Waymo car
- Tony coaches Taylor on focusing on real observations instead of fake shocking material
- Reveals two psych ward stays from alcohol withdrawal with suicidal ideation
- Admits to 30-50 12oz cans of twisted tea daily at one point
Set: Zany character comedian with impressions and absurdist humor about homeless soup kitchens, sports cars with scat pack decals, and Dolly Parton at Burger King.
Interview: 10 years of on-and-off standup, recently sober 4.5 years, collects creepy 18th century paintings, formerly addicted to crack and cocaine, shares sobriety ring story.
- Hobo bisque vs cream of vagrant soup kitchen joke
- Scat pack decal is fancy term for butt sex
- Dolly Parton at Burger King impossible whopper impression
- Aaron reveals he got lobster with boobs tattoo while drunk before sobriety
- Ari mentors Aaron on tightening delivery with mugging
Set: Brazilian female comic discusses dating dynamics, double standards about promiscuity, punchline about Boy Island masking weak material, references Vatican.
Interview: Less than 3 years standup, performs at Ding-Dong Show with Don Baris for a year, done spots in Australia and East Coast, works bottle service in LA.
- To savor 2oz sausage must put up with 200lb pig
- Girls called sluts; boys get island and called heroes
- Boy Island punchline (rejected by panel)
- Tony brutally dismisses set, saying joke would've worked if she was funny before it
- Ari and Joe defend Cinthya's set enthusiastically against Tony's criticism
- Improv scene where Ari plays Estonian secret agent interrogating Cinthya, she sings Shakira
Set: Matt discusses losing virginity with chlamydia, girlfriend with spicy diet, compares STI to hot sauce on hot dog, jokes about liking spicy everything.
Interview: Bartender at Line Hotel for 1 month, moved to Austin 3 months ago from Bay Area, microdoses mushrooms daily, catches seagulls at beach, interests in fishing and catching animals.
- Lost virginity gained chlamydia; thought it was spicy sex
- Head of dick and tip of tongue are cousins; chlamydia is hot sauce
- Likes spicy everything including spicy sex from STI
- Joe suggests Matt is in closet based on obsessive sex talk
- Matt reveals he microdoses mushrooms every day
- Admits to catching at least 13 birds in his life by hand at beach
Set: Nick does polite sexual humor about not knowing how to dirty talk, being awkward during sex requests, comparing himself to a nerdy boyfriend.
Interview: Got fired from parking ticket writing job for not having a car, recently bought 23 Chevy Malibu, unemployed lifting full-time, shares extensive flirtation texts with girl from Hinge.
- Can't dirty talk; too polite saying yes ma'am
- Girlfriend wants choking; he says it politely and sweetly
- Overcomplicated consent during sex acts nervously
- Extensive real text message exchange read live on air between Nick and girl
- Girl's text: 'we may just be a match made in hell' after he lists hobbies
- Nick caught in lie about having car; bought Malibu after getting fired
Set: Ryan does code-switching joke and story about coaching Challenger League baseball with deaf player Donnie who can't throw properly.
Interview: 4 months standup, from Houston, age 33, former hired gun guitarist for Texas country bands, quit music after being told he was too animated on stage.
- Code switching to get out of speeding tickets as pretty girl
- Coaches Challenger League; explaining to deaf pitcher Donnie about throwing
- Tony brings out guitar for Ryan to play; he plays original riff
- Ryan reveals he was child model for Wieners department store in 90s Houston
Set: Uncle Lazer does racial boundary-pushing comedy about his black friends calling him n-word, playing spades, and calling cops on loud music after getting rejected.
Interview: Discusses girlfriend Gina (pediatric doctor) finding explicit photos in his phone while he slept, being on testosterone for relationship repair, relationship counseling plans.
- Black friends call him n-word; special like dad patting butt
- Playing spades; uses n-word back; gets kicked out for calling cops
- Reveals girlfriend found dick pics in his phone while he slept
- Ari describes Laser peeing story: hanging on wall during Ari's bathroom use
- Uncle Lazer talks about taking testosterone and grabbing girlfriend's throat
Set: JP bombs opening with Gulf of America/Mexico joke about brown water, ICE diversity hiring joke, acknowledges mushroom use affecting set quality.
Interview: Discusses heavy mushroom use (2-6g every 2 weeks for depression), traumatic brain injuries, being hit as child, overdosing on fentanyl 3 years ago, and childhood sexual abuse.
- Took 12g mushrooms, stared at brown Gulf, dolphin blew 10W30 oil
- ICE 30 for 30 program; women breaking glass ceiling in immigration enforcement
- Groomed and molested 5-15 is weird way to say peaked in high school
- Tony coaches JP on set structure; shorter Gulf of America joke works better when delivered right
- JP reveals he died twice: once as child from mom hitting head, once from fentanyl overdose
- Detailed disclosure of childhood sexual abuse ages 5-15 by mom's boyfriend for bonding
- Tony gives JP his mother Joy as new mom on stage in rare moment