Ari Matti
Ari Matti has performed on Kill Tony 48 times as a show regular. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
Ari performs three-minute movie-themed material about international film distribution, comparing how movies play in different countries with cultural references.
- American movies in Japan omit Japanese people; Oppenheimer just sexy scientist smoking, banging
- Denzel Washington movies all same: at diner trying to eat, hooker gets in trouble
- Halloween: sexy cat is only hot animal; should have sexy elephant; mystery vs slutty
No set recap for this appearance.
Ari did a full minute about American Advil tasting sweet compared to world standards, Dunkin' Donuts early bird specials encouraging double donuts, and observations about American consumer culture and excess.
- Americans put sugar on Advil; no other country does this
- Dunkin' Donuts early bird special: if you start with donut, don't need second
Ari discusses separate women's chess league, women playing checkers instead, Gary Kasparov losing to computer vs women losing to microwave.
- Women have separate chess league, but women playing checkers instead of chess.
- Gary Kasparov lost to computer, women lost to microwave in 1973.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
Ari discusses diversifying movie franchises (gay James Bond, Black Taken), new Catwoman movie with Zoe Kravitz, and why Catwoman needs to climb.
- Gay James Bond has to suck dick to get passwords.
- Catwoman can't be fat because cats climb, suggesting Garfield instead.
Ari makes jokes about lack of penis enlargement technology progress and the cost-effectiveness of Mexican procedures that remove abdominal muscles for minimal inch gains. He complains about Elon Musk's Mars focus instead of solving this problem.
- Mexican dick enlargement surgery: $60k for 2 inches
Estonian comedian (pursuing US citizenship). Nashville experience: at house party, talking to girl, guy pulled out guitar ('there goes my pussy'). Doesn't trust guys good at things. Estonia: accordion, not guitar. Accordion sounds like communism: 'There is never enough bread.' Accordion makes you suicidal.
- Guy with guitar at party killed romantic moment; accordion sounds like communism
- Accordion sounds like 'There is never enough bread.' Accordion kills you, doesn't make you wet.
Ari delivered material about women wanting rumors about him sexually ('I told everybody I fucked her'), mocked women who keep affairs secret (bad sign), and contrasted desirable rumors vs. actual secrecy. Framed as boasting about conquests.
- Women upset he told others he fucked her; he's trying to show off
- Coworker affair staying secret is bad sign; means she's embarrassed
No set recap for this appearance.
Ari discusses Estonia being atheist, telling religious Americans to accept more suffering, a date with a Catholic girl who treats anal sex as religious loophole.
- Estonia atheist: tells American 'I don't even believe in myself, there's more?'
- Catholic girl treats anal sex like offshore account outside God's jurisdiction
Ari did nearly 2-minute set about walking behind unknown women at night and the awkward tension created. Material explored perspective shifts and body language changes when women realize they're being followed.
- Walking behind unknown woman at night, awkward tension from both directions.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
Comedic rant about pornography being blocked in Texas, the absurdity of age verification requiring a face photo with ID, and progression into darker porn tabs.
- Pornhub age verification requires sending face photo with ID to watch porn
- Scrolling through porn tabs gets progressively darker and more illegal
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
Willing to marry anyone for US passport, sucks dick for freedom, watches 90-day fiancé, pregnancy key, accidentally impregnates other immigrant.
- Will marry anyone for US passport, doesn't care about gender
- Key to getting pregnant is pregnancy, Texas no abortion perfect
- Got someone pregnant but turns out she's also illegal immigrant
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
Matti joked about eating ass enthusiastically, squirt being piss, period blood tea, and wanting to be mummified in used panties when he dies.
- I eat ass, don't hide it, little poo poo on mouth, I don't care
- Squirt is piss, I'm a toilet, all liquids women make I want in mouth
- Want mummified in used panties when I die
Ari did material about being single and missing the arguing with partners. He made jokes about blaming partners for problems versus self-blame, and a bit about wife dynamics including threatening with a knife.
- Single guys blame themselves; married guys blame girlfriend for everything.
- Mental chess pre-arguing with girlfriend, escalates to wife with kitchen knife.
Discusses OnlyFans monetization for women, friend dating an OnlyFans girl, and domestic life priorities. Uses joke structure about treating women like a business.
- Homeless woman on Sixth Street could make money on OnlyFans instead
- Friend quit OnlyFans for crypto boyfriend, living poorly in small apartment
- As father would put whole family online for financial needs
Political commentary on lawn signs, polarization, and Halloween costumes disguised as political messaging. Mixed absurdist humor about voter choice and personal safety.
- Lawn signs advertise unarmed victims to robbers regardless of political affiliation.
- Claims house displays Trump signs with swastikas to advertise dangerous residents.
Dark material about moving apartments due to suicidal ideation from high-rise balcony, romanticizing suicide over minor issues, and friend's girlfriend threatening self-harm.
- 32nd floor balcony provided immediate suicide solution whenever stressed
- Never thought about suicide but romanticized it over wrong coffee beans
- Friend's girlfriend threatens suicide if he leaves, he says sounds perfect
Set about having sex with an ex-girlfriend, comparing it to playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, and discussing universal dick compatibility across genders.
- Ex-girlfriend sex is best because you know all the buttons, like playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2
- Dick is universal like USBC bowling, don't need to know the person or set atmosphere
No set recap for this appearance.
Ari discusses open carry gun culture in Texas, observing families with guns at Whole Foods and joking about how having a gun would escalate every interaction he has.
- Mother at Whole Foods with kids and a gun signals potential homeschool shooting
- Gun argument finisher would escalate every McDonald's interaction about ice cream machines
Estonian comedian compares Seattle's progressive culture unfavorably to Texas patriotism; riffs on America being the 'winning side' and jabs at ungrateful Americans who should leave.
- If you don't like America, give me your passport and leave for Ukraine.
- Seattle residents all have green hair, low blood pressure, and complain America is racist.
Chubby chaser comedy about loving fat women, more tits/ass when fat, crude sexual humor about Adele vs Taylor Swift, donut and celery jokes.
- Fat women get more tits/ass, can never put too much syrup on pancake
- Adele 2016 juicy pussy vs Taylor Swift rice cake pussy
No set recap for this appearance.
Homeless people observation, government taking money, inflation rants, Gaza references, Biden conspiracy theories, working-class struggles versus homeless freedom.
- Homeless people must be nice, don't care about president
- Working class butt squeezed by government, homeless guy free
Set about military not accepting trans people, making a joke about them switching sides. Performer bombs in another room but comes out strong here.
- Military doesn't accept trans people because they switch sides
- Trans people trying on turbans at kebab market
No set recap for this appearance.
Ari performs about winning Red Bull from Facebook and girls coming over. Makes joke about being opposite of Bill Cosby because chicks remember what happened and can't fly away.
- Won Red Bull on Facebook, stocked fridge, opposite of Cosby because girls remember
- Social security vs social insecurity as immigrant joke
Estonian immigrant doing material about wanting an American passport and how it would help if he went missing. Jokes about Navy SEALs, Brittney Griner, and contrasts with Russian/Estonian heritage.
- American passport gets you Navy SEALs rescue if you disappear anywhere
- Brittney Griner traded for terrorist to play basketball in made-up league
Ari jokes about overhearing a couple arguing at a cafe, being surprised it was two gay men, noting they stayed on topic unlike straight couples, and praising their logical problem-solving abilities.
- Overheard couple arguing at cafe; were two gay guys staying on one topic.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.
No set recap for this appearance.