Kill Tony #738 — Andrew Santino, Jimmy Carr
Guests: Andrew Santino · Jimmy Carr
Lineup
Set: Jack discusses the dangers and awkwardness of receiving roadhead while driving, describing panic when a UPS driver witnesses the act and offering positive affirmation.
Interview: Discussed where the incident occurred, his cartoon-like appearance, his nervous laugh, and his anxiety management through jazz scatting.
- Roadhead is dangerous like texting while driving, compares to offering coke addict cocaine.
- UPS driver witness positive affirmation moment during roadhead act.
- Jack performs jazz scatting on stage to demonstrate his anxiety management technique.
Set: Marvin discusses discovering the word 'kurfuffle' from a news report, celebrates 18 years with his wife, and reveals his grandparents were cousins.
Interview: Discussed his work in factory assembly, living in Austin, his relationship with his wife, drug use, and his tattoo of his daughter's name Leila.
- Learning word 'kurfuffle' after 40 years from news report about stabbing.
- Grandparents together 60 years but were cousins, will never achieve that.
- Marvin cuts off his ponytail on stage with Zack Brown's knife to donate to children with cancer.
- Tony creates callback to kurfuffle joke when referencing the stabbing with Heineken bottle.
Set: Justin jokes about Epstein's Island tour guide commentary, online dating, and being tricked by fat girls who use angles and filters in photos.
Interview: Discussed his work as a pool guy, experience with online dating, meeting girls at Wendy's for first dates, his crooked nose, and pool maintenance myths.
- Tour guide mentions Epstein's Island, if you grab seashell you hear kid cry.
- Gets tricked by fat girls on dating apps using angles and hair, pregnant ones worst.
- Meets dates at Wendy's to preview them before commitment, they get Frosties.
- Red Band and Tony debate whether the smell of chlorine is actually chloramines from pee.
Set: Jesse makes dark jokes about school shootings, suicide, and serial killers, reading mostly from prepared notes with minimal punchlines.
Interview: Discussed his prison time (two sentences totaling over 7 years for weed and human trafficking), his work as a delivery driver, and his intimidating appearance.
- School supplies joke about AR-15, bulletproof vest, and bullets.
- Charlie Clark death neck joke and serial killer documentary commentary.
- Tony identifies that Jesse's best material is about his actual prison experiences, not prepared jokes.
Set: Paul discusses high school teacher trading grades for sex, benefiting him socially as the 'shoot up the school' guy, and the era of school shootings.
Interview: Discussed his age (22), being gay, recently graduating high school a year ago, his family background, and his tendency to over-prepare answers.
- High school teacher arrested for trading A's for sex, Paul benefited as straight A student.
- School shooting prevention program made Paul popular by being nice to likely shooter.
- Tony coaches Paul to calm down and breathe, telling him to close his eyes.
Set: Chris is half Mexican but looks white, discusses masturbation techniques, an Asian man masturbation method, and texting suicide threats while masturbating.
Interview: Discussed his eight years of standup, building circuit boards for work, watching horror movies and coloring books, and his Asian heritage not being recognized.
- Half Mexican but born with white skin, lucky for staying in country.
- Texts all contacts 'I'm going to kill myself' then ignores calls while masturbating.
- Marvin Izzy offers to cut Chris's hair on stage but Chris declines.
Set: Ari discusses separate women's chess league, women playing checkers instead, Gary Kasparov losing to computer vs women losing to microwave.
Interview: Discussed his recent tour dates in Philadelphia, Portland, Vancouver, and Irvine Improv, road stories with Martin Phillips dealing with earthquakes and parking.
- Women have separate chess league, but women playing checkers instead of chess.
- Gary Kasparov lost to computer, women lost to microwave in 1973.
- Ari tells story of being in earthquake with Martin Phillips who remains perfectly still.
Set: Aaron discusses mimosa advice about his jacket, Olive Garden's Italy tour with limited bathrooms, dropped canoli in urinal, and Chewy's acquisition by Olive Garden.
Interview: Discussed his sobriety (4.5 years), past cocaine and alcohol addiction, a blacked-out work incident where he cooked without memory, walking out of a Sixth Street restaurant job.
- Mimosa said jacket looks like giant hairless ball sack.
- Olive Garden tour of Italy with limited bathrooms, dropped canoli in urinal.
- Aaron shares he is 4.5 years sober from cocaine and alcohol, performing comedy sober.
- Aaron recounts blacked-out work incident where he showed up to work on cocaine and went to the line.
Set: Mason jokes about scooter weight limit alert, black woman's reaction, Korean tourists wanting photo with him as American stereotype, and looking like WWIII propaganda.
Interview: Discussed his Jersey Mike's job, gym routine, his father's death from cirrhosis, mother's drug addiction recovery, and fear of following his father's path.
- Scooter app says only one rider per scooter after he drove two feet.
- Korean couple wants photo with him as fat white American representing democracy and McDonald's.
- Tony awards Mason Bird a golden ticket for his consistent improvement and stage presence.
Set: David discusses white activities like hunting and fishing, black people not hearing smoke detector beeps, hiding things in books vs smoke detectors, and smoke detectors containing diabetes cure.
Interview: Discussed recent sold-out tour dates with Tony in Raleigh and Fort Lauderdale, Andrew Santino's Hulu special, and his upcoming touring.
- Black people don't hear smoke detector beeps, they think it means working.
- Hide things from Black people in books or smoke detectors, we never check them.
- Intense roasting exchange between David and Jimmy Carr about appearance and clothing.
Donna Lee
Set: Donna discusses her critical Thai mother, being Tyrish (Thai and Irish), her divorce, emotional unavailability from childhood, and her mother misunderstanding her vulnerability.
Interview: Discussed her long stand-up history since 2006, taking a five-year break, and having a comeback in comedy.
- Mom criticizes that she's alone, Donna unpacks childhood emotional neglect.
- Donna's emotional set about childhood trauma causes mother to misunderstand the conversation.