Kill Tony #702 — Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, Ari Shaffir
Guests: Shane Gillis · Mark Normand · Ari Shaffir
Lineup
Set: Jack describes his struggles with masculinity, driving a Fiat, and a confrontation with a road-rage driver who called him a 'trans bitch.' He responds with pantomime martial arts from his performing arts school training.
Interview: Jack discusses opening for Aaron Belisle, his recent move to Austin, and jokes about his Hanukkah celebration. Ari roasts him for being extremely Jewish.
- White girl transitions to look like Jack; drives Fiat in fast lane
- Road rager shoots pantomime finger guns; Jack catches bullet with teeth
- Golden ticket winner, first comedian of the episode
- Ari and Jack have extended riffing about Jewish identity
Set: Andrew performs jokes about Hitler avoiding nuclear weapons because he thought quantum physics was 'Jew science,' and a joke about SpongeBob making kids gay.
Interview: Andrew discusses dating difficulties, a canceled Hinge date, and his comedy circuit in Oklahoma and San Diego. Tony discovers his name contains 'Juan Retard' anagram, which becomes a running joke.
- Hitler avoided nukes because quantum physics was 'Jew science'
- SpongeBob made kids gay; parents were right
- Tony discovers 'Juan Retard' hidden in Andrew Tarr's name anagram
- Mark Normand and panel roast Andrew intensely
Set: Big Vinny jokes about Make-A-Wish kids being selfish for not wishing away his father's medical debt. He discusses his Italian heritage and family violence.
Interview: Big Vinny reveals he's 365 pounds, recently moved to Austin, played high school football, works out by climbing stairs, and has never kissed a girl in Austin. A woman (Miss Shelby) volunteers to kiss him but it's awkward.
- Make-A-Wish kids selfish; should pay parents' medical debt instead
- Big Vinny weighed on scale; revealed to be 365 pounds
- Miss Shelby from audience gives Big Vinny first Austin kiss
- Both Big Vinny and Miss Shelby weighed together
Set: Matt describes deaf guys on cocaine doing competitive rock-paper-scissors at a party, a silent disco event, and jokes about Diddy's illegal filming of escorts without consent.
Interview: Matt reveals he's been doing stand-up for 11 years, sells merch at concerts, is 35 years old, from Chicago, and getting married in March. Panel roasts his appearance and greasy hair.
- Deaf guys on cocaine doing competitive rock-paper-scissors at party
- Diddy filmed escorts without knowledge; using as blackmail doesn't work
- Mark Normand breaks glass cigar case during set
- Panel mercilessly roasts Matt's appearance and teeth
Set: Juan performs anti-racist jokes, discussing Trump's fist as appropriation of Nazi salute and Black Power fist, Kamala Harris in blackface, and racist hypotheticals about slavery.
Interview: Juan discusses his Daisy Duke shorts and oversized jacket, his Afro-Cuban background, schooling as clinical psychologist, and hobbies including bike riding and watching Jordan Peterson. Callbacks about his 'TV on the Radio' outfit.
- Trump fist appropriates Nazi salute and Black Power fist combined
- Mexicans should have been first slaves; would improve America
- Asians as slaves: perfect for cotton, rub-and-tugs after work
- Juan's outfit resembles Matrix character with Daisy Dukes and oversized jacket
- Juan describes watching uncle have sex in basement as 15-year-old
- Red Band pays Juan $20 (or mistook as $1) for good joke
Set: Jake jokes about the horror movie 'Teeth' inspiring him to check for monsters when eating girls out, and eating Black girls' asses to check butthole color for luck based on his dad's superstition.
Interview: Jake reveals he's been doing stand-up about a year, dropped bowling ball on his head at 13, got fired from Dollar General today, and is currently unemployed. Panel relentlessly roasts his potential autism or gayness.
- Movie 'Teeth' made him eat girls out to check for monsters
- Dad said black cats bad luck unless pink butthole; eats Black girls asses
- Panel claims Jake has speech impediment or is gay or autistic
- Jake reveals he was fired from Dollar General today
- Ari gives Jake $20 after admitting he might be gay for money
Set: Kam discusses LA fires, brick chimneys surviving while houses burn, and jokes about Black people and Asians being happy during the disaster.
Interview: Kam reveals he was in LA helping people during fires, delivering water and food supplies. Panel discusses his involvement and consistency as a comic.
- Only brick chimneys survive fires; should build houses from those
- Asian people happy during fires; no dogs seen evacuating
- Kam receives praise for consistent work ethic doing multiple shows nightly
Joe Bean
Set: Joe jokes about growing up skinny in a fat Mexican family, comparing to light-skinned people in Black families, suggesting jealousy as cause.
Interview: Joe is 41 years old, 5'5", weighs 120 lbs, raised 22-year-old son alone after mother left. Works as IT operations manager and podcast producer. His son Alex comes on stage.
- Skinny in fat Mexican family = light-skinned in Black family; jealousy
- Fat cousins eat Ozempic for dinner; nothing works
- Joe's 22-year-old son Alex brought on stage to be measured
- Panel jokes about Joe's diminutive height and weight
- Discussion of Joe's abandoned mother and difficult upbringing
Set: David jokes about teacher-student relationships, teacher-of-year voting, school shootings declining, and homeschooling his socially awkward son.
Interview: David is former career drummer who quit to pursue comedy after a year. Gets into drum solo competition with Charles Reed, loses badly. Worked for Guns N' Roses drummer, toured with band 'Lineham.'
- Teacher-of-year voting rigged; only students sleeping with teacher vote
- School shootings down since teacher scandal; teachers solving problems in-house
- David participates in 'Mexican drum off' competition with Charles Reed
- Charles Reed dominates David in drum solo competition
- David jokes about quitting professional drumming for comedy
DK
Set: DK jokes about finding oil vs. digging, his birthday being 4/20 (Hitler's), and makes dark Holocaust joke about not counting women in Jewish deaths.
Interview: DK reveals real name Timothy, works as valet driver, very emotional for a man, once nearly fought Yoni. Discusses psychedelic use with over 100 heroic dose mushroom trips.
- Finding oil; not by digging but by looking for terrorists
- Birthday 4/20 same as Hitler; doesn't count women in death toll
- Red Band accidentally presses monkey sound effect during DK interview
- Panel mentions DK once tried to fight Yoni the producer
- DK reveals over 100 heroic dose psychedelic trips
Vince Offer
Set: Vince pitches new product 'Black Wow' as diversity-focused version of ShamWow towel, claiming bigger size and dark color appeal to Black customers.
Interview: Vince discusses his infomercial empire, making $20 million from $100 million ShamWow gross revenue, beating up hookers, being in cult for 20 years, starring in 'Inappropriate Comedy' with Adrian Brody.
- Black Wow product; if you don't buy it you're racist
- Vince reveals he made $20 million from $100 million ShamWow gross
- Vince admits to spending 20 years in cult
- Vince's security/bodyguard does rap freestyle on Kill Tony