Kill Tony #678 — Whitney Cummings
Guests: Whitney Cummings
Lineup
Set: Set about military not accepting trans people, making a joke about them switching sides. Performer bombs in another room but comes out strong here.
Interview: Tony and panel discuss bombing in different rooms, the energy difference between crowds, and Ari's upcoming shows with Joe Rogan's Netflix special.
- Military doesn't accept trans people because they switch sides
- Trans people trying on turbans at kebab market
- Ari admits bombing hard in the other room with this exact joke
- Ari credits not watching previous comedian for bombing
Set: Set about being new to comedy, having only written one joke, comparing himself to his wife's brief sexual encounters. Performs without punchlines.
Interview: Tony discusses Heath's work at Dead Rabbit bar, his friend's quadruple amputation and Travis Mills Foundation, and his background.
- Better at sex than writing jokes - wife took 30 seconds
- Tony describes Heath as looking like various crude things
- Heath mentions friend with no arms/legs at Stubs Barbecue
Set: Anti-feminist material about women voting and toilet seat equality. Performer bombs heavily with no audience laughter; set falls completely flat.
Interview: Tony roasts Justine for bombing, discusses her fourth open mic, cleans luxury homes in Phoenix, plays kickball, and reveals house was firebombed by gang when she was 12.
- If feminists believe equality why not put toilet seat up
- Women shouldn't complain if they fought for voting rights
- Complete bombing with near silence from crowd
- House firebombed by gang when she was 12 because father ran neighborhood watch
- Tony suggests inappropriate coaching about father
Set: Setup-heavy material about flying squirrels, first sexual experience, and confusion about reciprocation. Strong punchlines and clear comedic structure.
Interview: Discussion of Kent's shaky legs (nervous tic), work at HB grocery store, recent 21st birthday, dating attempts, and kiss with Miranda from audience.
- All squirrels are flying squirrels if you throw them off cliff
- Girl wanted to be slapped during sex but got upset with actual slap
- Thought girl had dick until she explained reciprocation
- Kent's famous nervous shaky legs kick in during interview
- Miranda from audience comes up for kiss with Kent
- Tony arranges drinks date between Kent and Miranda after show
- Kent reveals he works early morning at HB, can't do date tonight
Set: Dark humor about school bus driver joke involving children with Down Syndrome. Sharp delivery and edgy punchlines with strong comedic timing.
Interview: Moved to Austin from Colorado Springs in April, works as valet, quit drinking and using cocaine, lives in difficult situations, recently sober.
- School bus driver who loves driving drunk with special needs kids
- Woman complains about ruining her day with Down Syndrome joke
- Woman having another disabled child shows tight anatomy
- Luke mentions living with hoarding woman with many animals
- Tony jokes about Luke's terrible living situations and mustache
- Luke is Eagle Scout despite troubled background
- Luke from Butler Pennsylvania where Trump was shot
Set: Topical material about 2024 election, voting like picking women, Kamala Harris and Joe Biden. High-energy performance with strong crowd reactions.
Interview: Regular on show with new hand tattoos 'go hard' and 'be great', got signatures from fans, new apartment, father approves, has game room with PS4/PS5/Xbox.
- Votes with dick like picking women - last couple years would be gay
- Wouldn't let 82-year-old grandma run country or drive car
- Kamala Harris only fucks people who help her career
- Cam goes 90 seconds, 50% over the allotted time
- Shows new hand tattoos 'go hard' and 'be great'
- People got Kam's signature tattooed on their leg
- Cam mentions being pregnant girlfriend
Set: Opens with question about Californians moving to Texas and compares to Native American genocide. Sets about girlfriend and Indiana Jones.
Interview: JT was just on show last week, doing standup for three years, admits he froze on opening question and didn't have followup planned.
- California/Texas migration compared to Native American genocide
- Told girlfriend he fucked her sister when asked about outfit
- White American man with whip stealing in Indiana Jones
- JT admits he was just on show last week
- Tony points out opening question left him vulnerable to heckling
Set: Material about church, Black identity, feminism/gambling, female boxing interest, no punchlines on premise jumping. Bounces between disparate topics.
Interview: Drew lost $1000 betting on women's boxing matches (had parlays/straight bets), Tony and Whitney discuss period effects on female sports performance.
- Only person in family searched for weapons at Black church
- Stopped watching porn for three months researching boxing
- Women's boxing not as powerful - last one retired 14 years ago
- Drew lost $1000 on women's boxing with parlay bets
- Tony attempts awkward explanation of menstrual cycle effects on sports
- Whitney interjected explaining periods affect female athletes and mood
- Tony notes Red Band jumping in to smooth over awkwardness
Set: Material about straight sexuality, blowjob gun scenario, homeless man racial bias sign, questions about female boxing. Absurdist dark humor throughout.
Interview: Second time on show, works as computer programmer remotely for LA factory, moved to Austin with Filipino girlfriend who works knitting/crocheting.
- Made it through Broke Back Mountain without masturbating straight
- Is it gay to suck dick with gun to your head
- Gave homeless man $10 to change mind about Black people
- Bill's girlfriend Ha yells at him from audience during interview
- Bill admits to watching porn in dormitory with soccer teammates
- Bill got big leather joke book last time, encouraged to keep going
Cole Kassul
Set: Edgy material about female sexuality demands, sex/abortion timing references, Kobe Bryant abortion joke. Strong punchlines with controversial dark humor.
Interview: Second time on show, scared about influencer podcast about him tomorrow, nervous about her revealing secrets, got big joke book, booked for Thursday secret show.
- Girl wants slapping during sex but angry when actually slapped
- Kobe Bryant comparison for girlfriend's abortion two days before ban
- If Kobe died with kid she'd compare to him better
- Cole nervous about influencer podcast coming out tomorrow
- Cole reveals date story: girl kept saying nword hard-r
- Cole asked if he wants to hang out with racist girl again
- Cole gets booked for Thursday secret show
Mike Cohen
Set: Text messaging relationship failures: friend's accidental BBC porn screenshot, mom getting dickpic, wife getting dickpic and responding with photo of him.
Interview: Atlanta resident, brand manager for automotive paint company, lost 150 lbs from nearly 400, had non-alcoholic cirrhosis, quit carbs, pursuing standup 3 years.
- Best friend accidentally sent BBC porn screenshot instead of someone
- Sent wife dickpic joking about dinner, she sent pic of him
- Mom received dickpic from son, responded about baby memories
- Mike survived non-alcoholic cirrhosis through diet change
- Wife is supportive and encouraged Mike to pursue standup
- Mike has two kids - one in college (30k/year), other near college
- Wife keeps Mike busy with farm, 70 chickens, lots of animals
- Mike and wife have sex once every couple weeks on her schedule