Kill Tony #720 — Carrot Top
Guests: Carrot Top
Lineup
Set: Martin jokes about celebrating Mother's Day by impregnating women, a Canadian's reaction to guns, and his own gun range experience where someone else cried instead.
Interview: Martin discusses his golden ticket status, his recent dog escape, and his cerebral palsy. Carrot Top gives him feedback and they discuss his comedy approach beyond his condition.
- Celebrating Mother's Day by impregnating women and spreading holiday cheer.
- Canadian guy cried after shooting gun, thinks Canada will be easy to take over.
- Golden ticket winner performing a strong opening set for the episode
- Dog escape revealed during interview - dog named Andy went missing under fence
Set: Kyle talks about having a baby tooth with a trapped adult tooth, jokes about fingers in the ass, and reveals he's bad at dirty talk, including an awkward attempt to whisper something sexy.
Interview: Kyle reveals he was on the show two years ago, works at Chewy's Text, does doubles on weekends, and is about to move in with his girlfriend for the first time.
- Still has baby tooth with adult tooth trapped in gums, hoping 2025 is his year.
- Finger in ass is like summer school - humiliating but only way to finish.
- Bad at dirty talk - told girl he's having hard time getting a boner.
- Tony reveals Kyle was on the show two years ago but Tony didn't remember him
- Kyle screams before he pees - extended bit about his weird bathroom habit
Set: Jackson makes shocking jokes about cougars, admits to sexual experience at age 13 with a 48-year-old, and makes offensive jokes about homeless people in Austin.
Interview: Jackson reveals it's his first time performing standup, he's 26, was homeless after his lease ended, plays guitar, and performs solo gigs around Bastrop.
- At 13 with 48-year-old Mrs. Lawrence, lasted 2 minutes with cougars.
- Would have sex with some homeless people in Austin.
- Jackson performs original song Jim Beam about homosexual relationship with alcohol
- Carrot Top brings out mousetrap with disco ball as prop - 'gay mousetrap' joke
- Jackson admits he's not practicing standup, just came to do show out of fear
Set: Molly makes jokes about moving from California to Texas with her autistic son, jokes about parenting, gender identity, and her son's appearance.
Interview: Molly reveals she's been doing standup 8 years total (4 year break), is a disabled Air Force veteran assaulted in San Francisco, has an amnesia disorder, and performs comedy songs with guitar.
- Escaped California with son's genitals intact, supports any gender choice.
- Son's diagnosis took time because he's good-looking, mistaken for asshole.
- Molly performs original song 'Jack Daniels' mocking Forest Whitaker's lazy eye
- Reveals she was assaulted by three women including military cop in San Francisco
- Has amnesia disorder from head trauma, forgets categories and people
Set: Jordan jokes about bicycles as wall art, being 25% gay from a gay grandpa, Anne Frank at a crystal shop, and his sister in a thruple with his mom.
Interview: Jordan has been doing standup for 4 months, works at Franklin BBQ as a line position managing meat distribution, and wears very short shorts.
- Has bicycles as wall art decoration in living room.
- 23andMe revealed 25% gay from gay grandpa.
- Anne Frank quote at crystal shop about best days ahead seems morbid.
- Tony does extended bit about Franklin BBQ line management system and shortage tracking
- Carrot Top brings out shorts prop making fun of Jordan's outfit
Set: Cam does a story about his gay friend Tyrone Jones where they both had sex with the same woman (Eiffel Tower), and Cam's confusion about Tyrone staying hard knowing he's gay.
Interview: Cam has been doing comedy 4 years, performs on the road, had a movie set incident where a Mexican police officer accused him of eating food, and made watermelon eating joke.
- If straight man has multiple gay friends, they plotting to get him in dark room.
- High school story doing Eiffel Tower with friend and girl, then friend came out.
- Story about movie set where officer asked him to stop eating, challenged his papers
- Watermelon eating joke about bad optics for Black people eating watermelon in public
Set: Jake jokes about thinking bestiality creates mythical creatures like werewolves, centaurs, and mermaids, and his plan to scuba dive to find mermaids.
Interview: Jake has been doing standup about 1.5 years, recently started at HEB grocery store, can put his foot over his head, has a Great Dane named Z.
- Thought bestiality was illegal because it creates werewolves and centaurs.
- Wanted to find mermaid and convince her to take his kid's voice away.
- Jake demonstrates impressive physical flexibility by putting foot over head
- HEB training schedule reveals Jake has no shifts for weeks then tortilla position
Set: Law jokes about being in Guinness Book of World Records for yelling 'gay' a thousand times at hot dog eating contest, therapy, and issues with white girls saying the n-word during sex.
Interview: Law is a Mothership door guy and professional comedian, dating a 6'1 history professor, practices semen retention for 97 days, met girlfriend at bookstore.
- Guinness World Record for yelling 'gay' 1000 times at hot dog contest.
- In therapy after deleting apps that give him anxiety including Bank of America.
- Law reveals 97-day semen retention practice and experience with girlfriend
- Extended discussion about height and dating someone 6'1 including sexual positions
- Carrot Top brings out hanger prop for short person
Shino
Set: Shino talks about his full name Sean Shinohara, his Japanese father born in Tokyo who moved to Corpus Christi and married a Mexican woman, making him half Japanese and half Mexican.
Interview: Shino just started standup 23 Mondays ago (Halloween move to Austin), is unemployed, saved 10 grand, 45 years old, Texas A&M graduate 20 years ago, used to teach English in Thailand and has two DWIs.
- Father moved from Tokyo to Corpus Christi and married Mexican woman, creating him.
- If he stayed in Tokyo would be computer programmer, not construction worker.
- Angry West Hollywood Bear comes out during his set as timer
- Reveals he has been to prison twice for drinking and driving in Texas
Set: Kimberly makes jokes about being older and dating younger men, menopause, being sexually unappealing/dry, and jokes about having no pleasure left inside.
Interview: Kimberly has been doing standup 4 years starting in Denver, moved to Austin in January, is an empty nester with two sons in 20s, been single 15 years.
- When seeing hot guy thinks she could have given birth to him.
- Dry as fuck, rubbing wiener on cheese grater has more pleasure.
- Last guy coughing from cavern, sent canary down, bird is dead.
- Tony praises female comedians - rare two funny women in same episode