Martin Phillips

No set recap for this appearance.

Martin discusses wearing women's clothes, school memories about making room for Jesus, and debuts a dog whistle as a unique instrument to differentiate himself.

• Dog whistle described as rape whistle if being assaulted by dogs
• Only thing holding him back from nutting guys is not being a dog

Martin joked about flying with his drugged dog, disability medicine commercials, and his dog defecating in an airplane carrier during a flight.

• Described flying with dog freaking out, said dog hasn't hijacked plane yet
• His blind Shih Tzu dog defecated in carrier mid-flight on Delta

No set recap for this appearance.

No set recap for this appearance.

Opening set about poker tells, a gun at roulette, and advice from a school girl about stalking. Set includes jokes about Vegas gambling and uncomfortable middle school interactions.

• When playing poker, accidentally drops cards and says 'Don't look'
• Brought own gun to roulette table because needed to be 21
• School girl told him to find where someone lives and let them know

Dark comedy about Halloween candy with razor blades, removing ribs to perform sex acts on himself, and self-deprecating physical humor.

• On Halloween, makes own candy and puts razor blades in it
• Removes ribs to perform sex acts on himself, then removes another to eat own ass

Set about hotels, soda with cough syrup, taking his dog places without it being a service dog, and bringing a raccoon. Uses harmonica as closer.

• Hotel stay costs $400, prostitute costs $800, he's losing money
• Likes soda mixed with cough syrup, high but no cold
• Takes dog to places as fake service dog, could bring any animal

Golden ticket winner discussing circumcision and Jewish culture, acknowledging the extreme heat in the venue.

• God told Abraham to circumcise, also told him to kill his son then took it back.
• Now a Prius owner, officially gay, could pull up saying twinsies to another Prius driver.

Golden Ticket regular. Short set: French horn is sexy instrument (fist in it). Ted Bundy volunteered at suicide hotline but nobody talks about lives he saved. Ends abruptly: 'I'll end it there.'

• French horn sexy because you stick fist in it
• Ted Bundy volunteered at suicide hotline; nobody talks about lives he saved

Martin opened with jokes about emotional attachment after sex with sex workers, deer losing antlers due to low testosterone, and visibility of male vulnerability. He flexed a new minute of material with absurdist observations.

• Sex workers hate him for emotional attachment post-sex
• Deer losing antlers due to low testosterone as male insecurity metaphor

Martin jokes about celebrating Mother's Day by impregnating women, a Canadian's reaction to guns, and his own gun range experience where someone else cried instead.

• Celebrating Mother's Day by impregnating women and spreading holiday cheer.
• Canadian guy cried after shooting gun, thinks Canada will be easy to take over.

Martin opened with observational jokes about DMs offering city tours, pregnant smoking, and his grandfather's dentures under his pillow. He wore tap shoes and performed tap dancing, which was noted as a first in Kill Tony history.

• Lady DMs about showing him around town and her pussy, he interpreted as tour offer.
• Advocates for smoking during pregnancy because moms deserve to look cool.
• Put grandfather's dentures under pillow with note asking tooth fairy to pay for full set.

No set recap for this appearance.

Martin discusses his large hands and hand job skills, mentions piano hands, references a sympathy card that said 'sympathy - Jewish,' talks about growing up with cats and the burden of cleaning their litter box.

• Big hands for piano playing but mostly used for hand jobs
• Cats use litter box so you have to find and clean their poop

Martin does observational material about Kid Rock, his voice similarity to RFK Jr., and welcomes listeners to hell. He discusses his recent hookup with a Puerto Rican woman to repair the show's relationship.

• Kid Rock sex tape setup about looking it up and immediately backing out
• RFK Jr. health department appointment and everyone sounding like him

Material about participation trophies, bathroom etiquette, and Nazis. Called out for doing the same Nazi joke repeatedly.

• First participation trophy was birth certificate, too much credit.
• After election, called Nazi by mainstream media which ruined dating.

Martin discusses unprotected sex, his parents' conception method, and incorporates magic into his act. He tells a story about a downer hijacking a shady airline and how terrorists would think it was just a bad airline crash.

• If a downer hijacked a shady airline, terrorists would think it's just a crash

Wheelchair rugby origin story, funeral etiquette confusion, bathroom dividers and looking at penises, brief dark material about funerals and racing.

• Wheelchair rugby crazy because that's how you ended up disabled
• Bathroom urinal dividers let guys see you looking at their dicks

Jokes about expensive cowboy outfits looking gay, reading food blogs written by porn stars, British ladybird naming etymology versus American practicality, and off-balance comedic presentation.

• Cowboy outfit is expensive and makes you look gay despite trying to look tough
• British call ladybugs ladybirds because red symbolizes nobility; Americans know birds

Martin opened with a joke about being recognized from a TV show named Martin, then discussed a Vietnam War class and an easy A opportunity, followed by observational humor about Jesus.

• Joke about being recognized from TV show Martin and saying the n-word
• Joke about Vietnam War class with old veteran and easy extra credit
• Joke about Jesus looking down and saying nice

Martin discusses cat calling stray cats, a porn ban following him around, and babysitting his sister's kids by starving them for energy control.

• Cat calling stray cats instead of women, they never come when called.
• Porn ban follows him from Virginia to Texas; sister's kids have energy from food so he starves them.

One-minute set about looking for side chick, dancing looking like seizure, compliment from gay man, exact one-minute timing.

• Need side chick but first need main chick
• Dancing looks like seizure, real seizure looks like dancing

Martin presented two short jokes: one about flowers sneezing when they ejaculate, and another about Bloody Mary being a soup that could have other hard liquor variants (like gin in chicken noodle).

• Flowers sneeze when they ejaculate (cum joke with flower metaphor)
• Bloody Mary is soup; no other hard liquor in soups like gin in chicken noodle

Martin joked about starting a true crime podcast but having to kill people first, Dalmatians at firehouses, not being married because he's too wild, treating vacations like jobs.

• True crime podcast - have to kill people first, like/subscribe with police hot air contest
• Can't figure out why Dalmatians at firehouses, realizes they pet the dog when house burns
• Treat vacation like job: look forward to it, get there it sucks, but try to have good time

Martin performed observational jokes about the milk carton kid propaganda, a girl who bit his neck calling him a vampire, and her later sexual techniques. Strong writing with callbacks to his earlier references.

• Milk carton propaganda: drink milk or go missing; kids want strong bones.
• Girl bit his neck; asked if vampire; later technique: blew him but lots of blood there.

Martin performs about Big Bird's name being curse, bathroom sign about flushing, and absurdist callbacks about his observations.

• Big Bird's name is curse reminder; he's aware he's abnormally sized.
• Bathroom sign don't flush anything except toilet paper; what to do with shit.

Martin performed strong set with cerebral palsy, jokes about cold weather clothing, pimping, mother's birthday card, asking strangers if he cut dry, and bar observations.

• Mother put birthday in quotation marks on card
• Guys asking if I cut dry at bars
• I pimp on her side, pimping season now

Martin performs tight material about sex dreams indicating trust, his large piano hands and elegant handjobs, and Texas heat despite dry climate claims with humidity from the sun.

• Sex dreams about someone means you trust them, he trusts too many
• Piano hands allow elegant handjobs, plays only in forte
• Texas dry heat negated by inhumidity and fucking sun

Jokes about living with roommate and dirty microwave. Makes circumcision jokes and comments about friend's $300 circumcision cost. References uncircumcised vibes.

• Parents invested in circumcision, hoping for future return on investment.

Martin discusses his fear of needles and vaccine boosters, asks a girl out but says he was the last man on Earth so that started his killing spree. Very brief set with trademark dark humor.

• Girl wouldn't date him; when he claims he was last man on Earth, his killing spree began.

Martin Phillips performs about therapy vs. Zoom comedy (only difference is people in his head), killing a baby (discussing how to search for it), a bad mother's turn situation, and references his cerebral palsy.

• Therapy vs Zoom comedy only differs in where people are
• Someone googled 'how to kill a baby' and found his jokes

Returning performer with muscular dystrophy, material about Disney live-action remakes enabling masturbation to princesses, found bike book with dark punchline.

• Disney live-action remakes make masturbating to princesses normal
• Found bike book, last place was where I live

Martin does second minute of show, jokes about acting drunk on stage, troubled history with women since second grade, teacher gun program concerns.

• Acting drunk to calm nerves on stage almost caused pants incident.
• Inexperienced with gun might accidentally shoot more than shooter in school.

Martin joked about substitute teaching, speed dating leaving impressions, having muscular dystrophy and massive dick causing lower back issues, and his set ended with audience standing ovation before most of his jokes landed.

• Do substitute teaching, had speed dating, take bunch of girls nothing fair
• Suffer from two types MD: natsu dystrophy and massive dick
• Massive dick causes lower back issues

Martin does observational humor about disability, straight white males being blamed for everything, library curbside pickup, and eating books as survival during quarantine.

• Straight white male privilege joke during quarantine times
• Libraries doing curbside pickup because times are so bad
• Eating books as survival during crisis