KILL TONY Wiki

Kill Tony #763 — Jeff Ross

📅 March 23, 2026 📍 Austin, TX Comedy Mothership 🎤 13 comedians ⭐ 1 regular

Guests: Jeff Ross

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Lineup

1

Martin Phillips

Set: Martin joked about flying with his drugged dog, disability medicine commercials, and his dog defecating in an airplane carrier during a flight.

Interview: Martin discussed drugging his blind Shih Tzu mix for flights with gabapentin and trazodone, the dog defecating on a Delta flight, and his living situation.

Bits:
  • Described flying with dog freaking out, said dog hasn't hijacked plane yet
  • His blind Shih Tzu dog defecated in carrier mid-flight on Delta
Moments:
  • Golden ticket winner introduced as 'GOAT golden ticket winner' at show open
2

Aaron Spaller

Set: Aaron made jokes about noticing homeless people after moving to city, using homeless as 'meat shields' during shootings, and criticism of a sign claiming 'Cancer can't work.'

Interview: Aaron discussed his three years of stand-up, his mom buying him overalls for Christmas, working as a John Deere tractor valet, and accidentally driving a car with a baby in the back seat.

Bits:
  • Homeless person's sign said 'Cancer can't work' - mistook zodiac for excuse
  • Joked about grabbing wheelchair-bound homeless person as meat shield in shooting
Moments:
  • Third-time appearance on show; accidentally drove a car with baby in back seat
3

Vanessa Scaduto

Set: Vanessa discussed aging as a woman, sexual acts with older partners, and shame after masturbation. She mentioned therapy helping her understand her father's love.

Interview: Vanessa revealed she's been doing stand-up for 7+ years in Jacksonville, Florida, recently moved to Austin for a spiritual group/community, and does medium work and healings.

Bits:
  • Older women titty-fucking described as playing accordion or using shake weight
  • Described shame feeling after masturbating in shower by herself
Moments:
  • Performed psychic/medium work on stage at Jeff's request; claimed to sense alley energies
  • Magically made cigarette disappear from Red Band's hand into bucket
4

Michael Hines

Set: Michael joked about Andrew Tate content algorithms, pronouns vs. alpha male titles, AI vs. Indian scammers, trans women and mental illness, and India-Pakistan conflict.

Interview: Michael discussed being a Marine/MMA instructor who gained 35 lbs doing comedy, a DUI conviction in Jersey, neighbor calling cops 200+ times over weed smoke, and $18k credit card debt.

Bits:
  • Andrew Tate algorithm content doesn't mean he likes conservatives either
  • Indian and AI scammers in space race to act human first
Moments:
  • Returned to stage; revealed 69 days left on lease, exactly $18k in debt
5

Katie Carter

Set: Katie joked about being groomed (not molested), a comic questioning if she 'developed early,' and a statistic about pedophiles with erectile dysfunction.

Interview: Katie discussed being a 2-year stand-up from Denver who recently moved to Austin, works a boring marketing job, and does 6-7 open mics per week.

Bits:
  • Comic asked if groomer was real pedophile or if she was 'really sexy kid'
  • 20% of pedophiles have erectile dysfunction, have to apologize to kid in van
Moments:
  • Tony announced she would perform at secret show on Thursday
6

Chris Silio

Set: Chris, who is blind, joked about seeing robot eyes, wanting to see tits, Elon Musk's Neuralink (comparing to Atari graphics), and Teslas getting vandalized with Nazi graffiti.

Interview: Chris discussed doing mushrooms at South by Southwest, a woman removing his sunglasses at a festival, dating difficulties on apps, and being blind for 10 years since age 18 with retinal detachments.

Bits:
  • Elon Musk's Neuralink brain chip shows boobs as Atari video game graphics
  • Tesla owner vandalizing Teslas makes him happy driving around as unknowing Nazi
Moments:
  • Golden ticket winner; first appearance on show; blind comedian with strong organic opening
  • Jeff Ross asked what color Chris's shirt is; Chris made joke about him failing
7

Michael Scott

Set: Michael joked about black Roombas, naming his Roomba 'Toby' (after Michael from The Office), and buying a used Roomba at auction for 3/5ths the price.

Interview: Michael discussed being a 9-year stand-up from Missouri/California, working valet, meeting a woman at a comedy show, and his freezing salmon in refrigerator.

Bits:
  • Every object meant to improve life is black; named Roomba 'Toby' with outfit
  • Bought used Roomba at auction for 3/5ths the price of new black one
Moments:
  • Made Holocaust joke about German Shepherd in car during winter
8

Eric Biggs

Set: Eric joked about Midwestern men not believing in therapy, preferring garage beer-drinking to counseling, and starting a Midwestern counseling service working on Pontiacs.

Interview: Eric discussed 6 years attempting stand-up in Missouri, working as insurance salesman, being from a very successful family (IT dad, teacher mom), and his brother dying in drunk driving accident.

Bits:
  • Too many men in Austin do therapy; Midwesterners prefer garage beer culture
  • Midwestern counseling: drinking beer, working Pontiac, tell friend 'shut up pussy'
Moments:
  • Tony asked Eric to do a second, different minute after first one bombed
  • Second minute about marriage and living in trailer was stronger than first
9

Davey Wester

Set: Davey joked about having cerebral palsy and redneck background combined, attended alternative high school with lawn mowing course, and told stories about uncles and toxic jobs.

Interview: Davey discussed being arrested in Minnesota with mushrooms while drunk, his current probation status, growing up in Washington state near nuclear plant, and past stories with Comedy Store roommates.

Bits:
  • Alternative high school had lawn mowing as course; could spell cerebral palsy
  • Uncle is tweaker stealing kids' bikes; fights capitalism from Batman RV homeless
  • Jobs bad when they say 'like family'; avoid actual family for reason
Moments:
  • Revealed mismatched buttons on shirt; Jeff asked if he fucks AI robots
  • Long-time Comedy Store door guy who mentored Tony in early years
  • Ate mushrooms in front of cop during arrest in Minnesota
10

Victoria Lang

Set: Victoria joked about being a pole dancer (not stripper), her boyfriend being into 'sounding,' and comparing the noise to a kid making fan noises.

Interview: Victoria discussed 3 years of stand-up, being from Hartford County Connecticut, making comedy music, and having a comedian boyfriend visiting from out of state.

Bits:
  • If she were stripper, would have cool name like Miss Honey Bun (sweet, dense)
  • Boyfriend into 'sounding' makes cool noise; nicknamed him Urethra Franklin
Moments:
  • Performed original comedy song about dating while living at parents' house
  • Conducted the band like experienced performer; impressed Jeff and Tony
11

Eric McLaughlin

Set: Eric joked about pointing at someone at airport and yelling they have bomb in ass, TSA checking both people, and actual bomber scenario if accusation was correct.

Interview: Eric discussed doing stand-up for about a year and a half in Austin, moved to Austin when he was 12 years old, and had been on the show before.

Bits:
  • Point at airport person yelling 'bomb in ass' forces TSA to check both
  • If person actually had bomb, would be hero but ruined being checked himself
12

Jonathan Jernigan