Michael Hines
Michael Hines has performed on Kill Tony 5 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Michael joked about Andrew Tate content algorithms, pronouns vs. alpha male titles, AI vs. Indian scammers, trans women and mental illness, and India-Pakistan conflict.
- Andrew Tate algorithm content doesn't mean he likes conservatives either
- Indian and AI scammers in space race to act human first
Rapid-fire jokes about wanting to be John Wayne but being a fat gay clown, polyamorous relationships, AI taking jobs, marriage being like hitting women, abortion, and Jesus as a CrossFitter.
- Wants to be strong silent type like John Wayne, is fat gay clown instead
- Marriage is like hitting women, if you think you wouldn't, haven't met right girl
- Jesus in good shape because original Crossfitter
Set about UFO/non-binary person jumping off bridge, suicides back, Ozzy Osborne in hell, voted for Trump regretted it week one when lost food stamps.
- Saw UFO but it was non-binary person jumping off bridge
- Ozzy Osborne finally in hell, scientists must have air conditioned it
- Voted Trump, regretted week one when lost food stamps
Michael makes jokes about the Israel-Hamas war being entertaining, Greta Thunberg supporting Israel kill-the-Jews tweets (false), and conflates current events with entertainment. Gets cut off by the kitten timer.
- Greta Thunberg supposedly tweeted about killing Jews after BLM/climate tweets.
- Hopes they annihilate each other to set up holy land for Jesus.
Crude material about dating disabled women and his sexual experiences, marked by a speech impediment that worsened under nervousness.
- Dating handicapped girls because parking near Sixth Street is a pain.
- Autistic women are better partners because they don't call back with complaints.