Kill Tony #731 — Shane Gillis, Matt McCusker
Guests: Shane Gillis · Matt McCusker
Lineup
Set: Golden ticket winner discussing circumcision and Jewish culture, acknowledging the extreme heat in the venue.
Interview: Martin discusses being a heavy sweater, his new Prius purchase, and drinking habits with the panel.
- God told Abraham to circumcise, also told him to kill his son then took it back.
- Now a Prius owner, officially gay, could pull up saying twinsies to another Prius driver.
- Golden ticket winner brought in last-minute as opener
Set: Daniel discusses his age confusion, references popular TV shows, makes sushi jokes about the hood, and ends with a lawyer joke.
Interview: Discusses his father's death 10 months ago from connective tissue disease, receiving $70,000 life insurance, and plans to pursue audio/video work.
- Turning 26 but looks great for 36; mistook Sopranos and Friends for recent shows.
- Friends is basically Seinfeld but about Jennifer Aniston's nipples.
- Black lawyer wordplay: what do you call one? A brother-in-law.
- Emotional revelation about father's death during interview
- Panel teases him for watching old TV shows
Dean
Interview: AC repair technician from Airco HVAC who fixed the broken air conditioning by diagnosing a tripped smoke alarm from camera haze.
- AC technician becomes unexpected guest on the show
- Crowd chants Dean's name enthusiastically
Paul
Set: Paul performs material about Islamic terrorism virgins, family vampire hunting, and makes edgy jokes about assassins.
Interview: Paul discusses screenplay he wrote during recovery from surgery, featuring Shaq and Charles Barkley as ex-partners hunting wedding ring with NBA stars.
- 72 virgins joke; demands 100+ virgins as threshold for commitment.
- Family hunts vampires; apologizes for Venice scenes reference.
- Reveals screenplay pitch during interview
Set: Michael performs material about his appearance resembling Donatello from TMNT, discusses rabbit breeding and rabbit sex lasting only 10 seconds.
Interview: Discussed his actual guinea pigs (not rabbits), 8 years of standup in California, valet work, and construction equipment delivery job.
- Looks like Donatello from Tyler Perry's Ninja Turtles movie because he's the tech guy.
- Started with 2 rabbits, ended with 14; observed 10-second rabbit mating duration.
- Panel discovers he kept 14 guinea pigs in bedroom as child
- Mother accidentally killed 4 guinea pigs by putting cage in sun
Set: Yoshika discusses her Only Fans subscription service and criticizes dating white men, comparing them to a pyramid scheme with unhealthy behaviors.
Interview: Named after a Japanese film camera, discusses Only Fans content (twerking in anime costumes), stripper background, and strained relationship with her father.
- Only Fans subscription for 30 cents a day helps short girl pay rent.
- Dating white men is a pyramid scheme; they lie, drink Mountain Dew, prioritize themselves.
- Sex work better than dating; getting paid vs. making keto pancakes.
- Shane Gillis offers to buy her a printer from her wishlist
Set: Golden ticket winner performing material about distrust of religions, Jehovah Witnesses compared to registered sex offenders, and commentary on sex offender policies.
Interview: Aya discusses her Moroccan family background, teaching her father how to cook pasta, and a dream about saving a girl from a trap house.
- Some Jehovah Witnesses are registered sex offenders too nervous to confess.
- Distance makes heart grow fonder, but keeps sex offenders away from schools.
- Golden ticket winner on the show
Set: Jenny performs material about documentary on disabled man, jokes about hope for disabled women, mentions mentally incapacitated partner, makes Fantastic Four handjob joke.
Interview: Jenny discussed working at tire shop, being engaged, and recently completing clown school with her partner.
- Documentary about woman jailed for sex with mentally incapacitated man; gives hope to disabled.
- Handjob during Fantastic Four movie equals Fantastic Five.
- Mentions performing at clown school
Set: Chuli discusses dating app struggles, compares gay lifestyle benefits, and describes jackoff mirror visualization lasting 25 minutes.
Interview: Discusses dom/sub sexuality preferences, filming domination content in LA, freelance AV work, and having an East Coast submissive partner.
- If he were gay, loneliness would disappear, fashion and physique would improve.
- Jackoff in mirror with hot dude lasts 25 minutes of mutual stimulation.
- Panel reacts to dom/sub lifestyle revelation
Mike Iyobebe
Set: Mighty Mike discusses being broke, can't afford to be racist with laundry, mixes leftovers into creative dishes like Jamaican 'roster'.
Interview: Nigerian immigrant working at FedEx after Amazon; discusses package delivery challenges, improving black communities, bills, and his pull-out method for avoiding fatherhood.
- So broke can't separate laundry races; white trash vs. upper middle class.
- Mixed rice and pasta; called it 'roster' because he's a Jamaican genius.
- Shane corrects him about previous appearance on show
Set: Shay discusses dating struggles, taking words literally (especially 'daddy'), and uses pump jokes about depression as workout motivation.
Interview: From Houston, works as a CNC machinist, does jiu-jitsu, lived in Marshall Islands during Navy service where he saved a child from flooding.
- When women say daddy, he literally interprets and leaves (milk, Newports, NFL draft).
- All press types are depression metaphors; he's depressed so works out constantly.
- First-time appearance on show
Nate Ortiz, Phillip Lee
Joe Filey
Set: Joe discusses being called white trash, sister's skin tone reveal party after having three mixed-race partners, and hospital paternity confusion.
Interview: From Youngstown, Ohio; works at weed shop on Sixth Street; discussed extensive drug use, Thailand travel experiences, and frequenting Dollhouse ATX (legal brothel).
- Sister invents holidays including skin tone reveal party at hospital.
- Raised white kid mixed with black guy and Mexican guy at hospital.
- Extended discussion about Dollhouse ATX brothel in Austin
- Joe admits to pegging experience at brothel
Ram B
Set: Ram discusses moving house and mistaking someone for having Down syndrome at job, testing his assumptions through their behavior and tip amount.
Interview: Moved to Austin in 2021 from Wisconsin; has been doing standup 4 years with breaks due to personal issues; father died of leukemia.
- Mistook moving client for Down syndrome, gave low tip confirmed he was fine.
- Handwriting dispute about his name on bucket list