Kill Tony #707 — James McCann

Set: Martin discusses his large hands and hand job skills, mentions piano hands, references a sympathy card that said 'sympathy - Jewish,' talks about growing up with cats and the burden of cleaning their litter box.

Interview: Martin clarifies he doesn't own cats but feeds strays on his patio. Discussion touches on his strength, grip strength testing, and his busy schedule doing shows.

Set: Jenna discusses Super Bowl as Christmas of sports, jokes about dating an NFL player with bruises indicating love, mentions wearing a turtleneck in July, references Nicole Brown Simpson attachment style, jokes about autistic girls getting fake breasts.

Interview: Jenna runs an art history comedy podcast called 'The Bad Art Show,' has been doing standup 4 years from LA, is sober now, was an alcoholic at 15, had multiple DUIs in Florida, owns a pit bull.

Set: Mike discusses being a DJ and volunteer for the unhoused, tells story about tracking down someone who stole his bag and who said Jesus loves him but he's 90% on drugs and 10% on Jesus.

Interview: Mike is from Little Rock, Arkansas, been doing standup on and off for 10+ years (year recently, couple dozen open mics in past few years). Is a federal witness to a homicide of his adopted autistic brother killed in 2014. Recently moved to avoid former criminal who was just released from prison.

Set: Aya discusses her Muslim mother getting virgin mojitos, asks bartender to leave alcohol in. Jokes about cousin born with two vaginas (locked up like yogurt). References being female and vulnerable.

Interview: Had birthday party with mom making okra pizza. Parents are Muslim but chill, text prayers. Discusses bloodline theories based on eye color. Moroccan, not Persian. References Donald Trump not having dog in White House because Muslims don't like dogs.

Set: Gary jokes about moving from Alaska (99 miles from closest dating profile), treats salmon like women, discusses ex-girlfriend with safe word being the N-word, talks about aging and compliments on skin from old lady, references Omega-3s.

Interview: Gary has been doing standup 7-8 years with break after bombing, just returned 2 years ago. Works at high-end restaurant (Nomade, Yucatan style) as server. Into backpacking, nature, high-stakes poker on LSD. Won $28,000 tournament, up over $100k lifetime. Moved to Austin 3 months ago for comedy.

Set: Matt jokes about Mexican Jewish cousin Kik who works construction but demands payment in bonds, manages coffee shop called Hebrews, built tunnels for both cartels, carries gold gun with pigtails. Contrasts being Mexican and Jewish.

Interview: From Austin, born and raised. Starting job tomorrow at smoke shop (already hired). Just got fired 2 weeks ago from Waffle Shop for not showing up. Previously worked at various fast food including Billy Baxter's Cafe in Australia run by Chinese people. 24 years old, turning 25.

Set: Shiva discusses watching porn and reading comments instead of watching. Jokes that nobody says book is better than porn. Makes Millennial jokes about eating ass and peanut allergies not overlapping.

Interview: On show twice before. Does standup for living but not a sustainable one. Makes $500-600/month from standup but pays $800/month rent (now no rent). Saved $2,000 before moving. Lives in parent's house previously. Ate only orange and bunch of grapes after waking at 3pm from drinking heavily.

Set: Anthony jokes about girlfriend wanting him to wear Magnums when he can't, being terrible communicator. References haunted apartment breakup where he was too scared to sleep on couch during fight.

Interview: First time on show. From Phoenix, moved to Austin 3 weeks ago. Cake decorator at Walmart for 1.5 years (started same time as standup). Was semi-truck driver for beer company. Got DUI driving home from New Faces show while eating McDonald's. Hid McDoubles in pockets during police stop.

Set: David jokes about unemployed friend against borders but uses divider at checkout. References autistic girl paying for fake breasts to avoid eye contact.

Interview: First time on show, from Tampa, moved to Austin. Has long history there with girlfriend from before 2020 lockdowns. Girlfriend does DoorDash. David is accountant. David Jenkins the Third, father was airplane mechanic. Listened to Brian Regan albums in 5th grade. Has same tooth knocked out three times from sports accidents.

Set: Wes jokes about Valentine's Day being scary. Discusses relationships as made up or exaggerated. References sobriety as New Year's resolution, diving bars sober as traumatic, Valentine's Day as Holocaust Remembrance.

Set: Matthew discusses dropping 40 pounds through Zumba addiction. Details the progression through songs, fighting for front spot on stage, Betty trying to take his water bottle spot.

Set: Ian jokes about seeing real Nazi in uniform in daylight, punching a 5-6 year old wearing Nazi Girl Scout uniform with green skirt and beret, stealing cookies. Claims he's no hero.

Set: Drew discusses father being best friend but talks shit about him. Father is 6'6" 450lb Black man in Batman costume in wheelchair called Batmobile. Parents creating cosplay content in Back Cave with mother in pleather costume smelling like Arby's.

Set: Matt discusses struggling with masculinity due to liking bubble baths while ice baths are now manly. Tells story about homeless man asking for $2, refusing, finding him dead, grateful he didn't give money.