Kill Tony #698 — Sam Tallent, Ari Shaffir
Guests: Sam Tallent · Ari Shaffir
Lineup
Set: Jokes about Pfizer, COVID vaccines, and personal isolation during Me Too movement. Self-deprecating material about not interacting with women.
Interview: Discussed six-year anniversary as a regular, upcoming road trip to Memphis, eating habits, and Call of Duty progress. Banter about attractive woman in front row.
- Pfizer releases new COVID scene with YouTube album in syringe
- Being locked up at Riker's Island on 9/11 compared to Me Too survival
- Only talked to four girls including mom, didn't survive Me Too
- Extended crowd work with attractive woman in front row about her appearance
- Story about homeless person stealing backpack with jokes at The Squire Lounge
Set: Self-deprecating jokes about forehead, German-Polish heritage, marriage, and archaeology background. Brief set with improv influences.
Interview: Revealed 10 years in comedy (7 stand-up), living in Airbnb, newly married, edits feet content with husband for niche community.
- Large forehead comparison to Peyton Manning and personal yardage
- German and Polish heritage invasion reference as white guilt
- Archaeology degree allows digging up the past and telling about it
- Sock removal bit revealing large feet size 10 for foot fetish content
- Revealed she and husband create feet content videos, 'Wreck and Becca'
Set: Jokes about stroke survivor experience, erectile dysfunction, prostate health, and ex-wife. Comedy derived from medical aftermath and relationship failure.
Interview: Had stroke on birthday this year, now mostly immobilized, survived homelessness and financial ruin post-divorce, reconnected with son, uses Kill Tony as therapy.
- Immature ejaculation diagnosis and prescription from doctor to wife
- Can do everything single-handedly since stroke, GI Joe Kung Fu Grip
- Profound moment revealing Kill Tony prevented him from suicide post-stroke
- Story about wealthy mentally ill Dallas punk scene figure and stolen RV
Set: Professional magician's perspective on why he hates performing for children versus adults. Brief structured set about magic and audience dynamics.
Interview: Moved to Austin six months ago, commutes to Toronto where wife lives, signed up 35 times before getting selected. Performed real magic trick with purse, money, and vibrator.
- Kids always guess red ball trick is in other hand, unlike gullible adults
- Live magic trick locating Ari's signed $100 bill inside a lemon
- Tony criticizes full Canadian tuxedo denim outfit, compares to Jay Leno
Set: Dark humor about gun control, Texas laws, abortion, disability, and bisexuality. Edgy material touching on medical bills and societal attitudes.
Interview: Came out as openly bisexual this year, has men approach with girlfriends for sexual acts, lives on inheritance (45k), eats Thai food regularly, weighs 437 lbs.
- Guns are permanent solution to temporary medical bill problems
- Governor wants open carry of assault rifle and sword to Renaissance Fair
- Guy in wheelchair doesn't believe in accidents, unlike mother
- Scale reading reveals 437 lbs, 70 lbs heavier than his own estimate
- Michael Gonzalez offers to be his workout buddy at On It gym
Set: Storytelling about Black History Museum visit in DC, white woman at immigration exhibit, cafeteria serving fried chicken and collard greens. Reflexive observations on race and culture.
Interview: Recently visited DC for mother's birthday with family, took six-year-old cousin who wasn't interested, observed white attendees, has YouTube vlogs.
- Thick white woman crying at immigration exhibit, whistled at her to cheer up
- Museum cafeteria only sold fried chicken and collard greens stereotypically
- D Madness and John De confused about hat ownership, race-based banter
- Six-year-old cousin unimpressed by Harriet Tubman, walking away disinterested
Set: Australian carpenter's material about his accent revealing alcoholism, working with special needs populations, construction industry entry via Benny Benassi music video, smoking cigarettes.
Interview: Married American woman from West Virginia this year on spousal visa, lived in Vancouver, worked construction in Australia, previously had long hair inspired by Jesus.
- Accent reveals alcoholism, tries to be sober with cocaine and prostitutes
- Took career advice from Benny Benassi, entered construction based on music video
- When smoking cigarette looks like James Bond, but looks like Waffle House employee
- Revealed he was first responder on bridge suicide, held dying man
- Escaped mental institution and jumped off bridge seeking help
Set: Self-described recovering addict using dark humor about sobriety attempts, smoking, listening to house music optimistically. Mitch Hedberg-influenced delivery with absurdist punchlines.
Interview: Weighs 265 lbs despite claiming 170 lbs, maintains overconfidence, eats vegetables, confused about his actual weight.
- New York sober trying cigarettes and occasional cocaine with prostitutes
- People look cool smoking, but he looks like Waffle House employee
- Listens to house music in studio apartment out of optimism
- Scale reveals 265 lbs when he claimed 170, massive weight discrepancy
Set: Tight material about Tinder dates living in tents, Sixth Street observations, potholes compared to crackheads, post-election anxiety, women's basketball threat.
Interview: Approaching two years in comedy (January), previously on show in June, works part-time fixing cell phones, from Austin.
- Matched with girl whose fun bio actually meant living in tent
- Potholes and crackheads similar: street dwellers annoying when you run them over
- Worried about getting kicked out of women's basketball due to gender identity
- First date to Casey Rocket show, girl suddenly interested in Black friends
Judah Zee
Set: Material about sparkling water as trans water, Michael Gonzalez gym nickname, Louisiana Ten Commandments education criticism, boyfriend jiu-jitsu training to protect from homosexuals.
Interview: Kashmiri-Pakistani heritage (Kashmiri), goes to gym with Michael Gonzalez and boyfriend, boyfriend trains jiu-jitsu, does Muay Thai three times weekly.
- Sparkling water basically just trans water, not real
- Michael Gonzalez has Big Mike nickname like Michelle Obama
- Boyfriend training jiu-jitsu to protect her from other homosexuals
- Michael Gonzalez removed shirt revealing extremely defined physique, establishes Big Mike nickname
- Revealed boyfriend is Josh, the person who assists D Madness on stage