Kill Tony #688 — Russell Peters, Sam Tripoli
Guests: Russell Peters · Sam Tripoli
Lineup
Set: Han Kim opens with observations about distracted driving, current events, feminists, and rape accusations. Well-written, rock solid material from a Kill Tony Hall of Famer.
Interview: Tony and panel discuss his fashion choices (collarless shirts), his dating history (300-pound white girl on Tinder), his decade of low sexual activity, and his new ankle holster.
- Texas Drift joke about phone distraction in cars leading to lane changes.
- Feminists forced to be attracted to fat women or they'll be accused of rape.
- Joke about strapping flashlight to Roomba as the end of humanity.
- Tony praises Hans as one of the true living, thriving members of Kill Tony Hall of Fame
- Hans reveals he got a 300-pound white girl on Tinder during decade of low expectations
Set: Mark discusses moving to Austin, disliking it compared to Louisiana, differences in white girls' bodies, and mistaking Joe Rogan for a bald woman on 6th Street.
Interview: Mark discusses his 8 years of stand-up in Louisiana, his impending move back to Shreveport, his artwork and graphic design skills, and raps awkwardly with Michael Gonzalez on beat.
- Austin's weird culture: restaurants say 'save the trees' but use hard toilet paper.
- Only white girl with big ass on 6th Street turned out to be Joe Rogan.
- Mark raps awkwardly on stage with Michael Gonzalez, producing barely coherent lyrics about sucking titties
- Mark gets offered a slot at Tony's Secret Show Thursday immediately after set
Set: Sarah self-deprecates about her appearance, Harvey Weinstein, being called 'mid,' lack of dating success, and jokes about being grateful men are calling her.
Interview: Sarah discusses being 2 years into stand-up, working at medical school front desk, Masters in Business degree, attending church twice weekly, and never having been kissed. Tony arranges her to do a horse impression at New Year's Eve HEB Center show.
- Harvey Weinstein wouldn't harass her; too unattractive and too legal trouble.
- Guys calling her 'mid' is actually progress since at least they're calling.
- Sarah reveals she's never been kissed, shocking Tony and the panel
- Sarah does an iconic horse impression that becomes the highlight of her segment
- Tony books Sarah exclusively to do horse impression at HEB Center New Year's Eve show
Drea Lee
Set: Drea's debut set covers being a childless cat lady, hysterectomy disclosure, dating uncircumcised men, Wikipedia research on circumcision rates, and a funny anecdote about discovering her boyfriend's circumcision status.
Interview: Drea discusses her first time doing stand-up, working as a cat groomer in Calgary, getting chronic fatigue syndrome from COVID-era work stress, Canadian healthcare, and assisted suicide programs in Canada.
- Hysterectomy was for tumor not trans; discloses upfront to avoid stolen valor.
- Foreskin described as reverse mullet: longer in front, shorter in back.
- Wikipedia said 92% circumcised but boyfriend wasn't; drunk her yelled disappointed.
- Drea reveals she used to shave pussy as cat groomer; room creeped out
- Discussion of Canada's MAID (medical assisted suicide) killing thousands yearly
- Sam Tripoli dismisses Canada assisted suicide statistics, Joe Rogan's news mentioned
Set: Kam discusses not understanding art, seeing sculptures of flaccid penises, questioning why anyone would sculpt themselves with a soft penis, and jokes about small dicks being smart.
Interview: Kam discusses attending Sam Talison Festival in Arkansas, visiting original Walmart in Bentonville, seeing a grown man with helmet on bike, and clarifies his earlier jokes about dick size and mushroom use.
- Why would anyone sculpture a soft dick with pubes? That's murder-worthy.
- Small dicks back then mean they were smart; he'd have gone to Harvard.
- Kam insists his dick is huge while pointing at camera repeatedly
- Russell Peters praises Cam's penis joke comment 'Good about job on your penis'
Swiggy
Set: Swiggy discusses sleeping with fat women at work, treating them like menthol cigarettes so friends won't steal them, jerking off to girls in the car, and describing himself as a creeper.
Interview: Swiggy discusses working a lot, running Swig Fest at Shakespeare with wet t-shirt contest, taking a fisting class on FetLife at a woman's house, learning about g-spot/a-spot positions, and dating history.
- Fat women like menthol cigarettes: so friends don't bum them off you.
- Jerked off to both girls in car while they talked about him being creepy.
- A large woman leaves bathroom quickly during set; Red Band makes crude comment
- Swiggy describes in detail his fisting class and learning g-spot/a-spot positions
Set: Jacob's debut discusses his heroin-addicted father burning food while high, buying basketball cards instead of getting life together, observing hot women at Whole Foods, and unable to find himself in group photo wearing plaid.
Interview: Jacob discusses being from Montana, working as weed packager for 4 years, skiing, his father's heroin addiction and current job as janitor. Tony attempts to call his father on stage but reaches disconnected numbers.
- Dad nods out doing dishes/burning Rice A Roni while buying basketball cards.
- Can't find himself in Whole Foods group photo while wearing plaid.
- Tony tries to unlock and call Jacob's father on multiple phones; all fail
- Jacob's father doesn't answer; numbers are disconnected or wrong
Set: Brandon discusses taking baby aspirins, inability to smoke weed (Forrest Whitaker eye), alcohol tasting bad (IPAs worse than child support), can't wear plaid, went to Benihana with lesbians and disappeared in photo.
Interview: Brandon discusses being born in North Carolina, raised in Chicago, now living near Oklahoma City, doing DoorDash and stand-up, former quarterback, joked about stats with increasingly absurd tangents and catchphrases.
- Can't smoke weed; two puffs and eyes feel like Forrest Whitaker's left.
- First IPA so dark had to chase with child support payment.
- Benihana dinner with lesbians; couldn't find himself in group photo wearing plaid.
- Brandon repeatedly says 'What can I say?' and 'I'm telling you' as catchphrases
- Tony accuses Brandon of mistaking Russell Peters for Chris Christie
- Extended bit about throwing football through Cheerios, insisting he was former QB
Set: Chase discusses alcohol making people dumb, weed making people autistic, friend identifying cars while high, delta-8 weed as 'trans weed,' and buddy questioning if delta-8 is real or legal.
Interview: Chase discusses 4 years stand-up in Alabama, wife who is reverse mortgage processor, manufactured home in trailer park, 4-year-old son, monogamy practices, and winning high school drag show with 'spread them' line.
- Weed makes people autistic; buddy identifies car makes instead of cops.
- Delta-8 is legal weed with things removed/modified; like trans weed.
- Tony calls Chase 'Birmingham Bomber' referencing 16th Street Baptist Church bombing
- Chase reveals he won high school drag show with 'Spread them, boys' line
- Michael Gonzalez operates rainbow strobes during drag discussion; extensive bit follows
Set: Fantasia's opening discusses being a white girl comic, mentions being a mom as favorite thing, and introduces tough love parenting.
- Surprised people when white girl came out; introduces herself as mom.
- Sarah Sloan mentions finding Ari Matti attractive during interview