Kill Tony #726 — Ari Shaffir, Mark Normand

Set: Charlie discusses lesbians in Austin, using coded language and personal anecdotes about encounters with women in the LGBTQ+ community. He transitions into discussing his vegan diet and 160-pound weight loss.

Interview: Tony and the panel ask about his background (Chicago Westside), how long he's been doing comedy (six years), and his life in Austin. He mentions writing children's books for adults and his recent weight loss success.

Set: Fuzzy discusses the superpower of freezing time and the criminal activities one could commit, including bank robbery. He makes jokes about gender identity, Jewish people, and Pakistan.

Interview: Fuzzy discusses his appearance, how long he's been doing standup (five years), his work at the mothership, and his love life. Panel discusses his appearance (cancer spots, baldness) and his claim about stopping masturbation to gain chi.

Set: Francisco discusses a conversation with someone about cleaning houses, then pivots to discussing his Venezuelan heritage and recent Pope Francis comments about gay marriage and hell. He speculates about what happens to gay people previously burning in hell after the Pope's announcement.

Interview: Tony clarifies Francisco has only been on once before. Francisco mentions being Venezuelan not Mexican or Puerto Rican. He discusses getting fired from his recent job as a remote sales engineer and his love life.

Set: Mike uses a logical structure to make absurdist jokes connecting unrelated things (cat owners and trash, blue cheese eaters and foot fetishes, lemonade drinkers and pedophiles). He finishes with a joke about Disney adults being victims of pedophilia.

Interview: Mike reveals he's been doing standup about five years but took breaks for COVID. He moved to Austin two weeks ago with only $500 saved. He's living in a tent at a KOA campground, doing DoorDash for work, and eating steaks from HEB.

Set: Kandyce discusses her Islamic wedding (Nika ceremony) and mishearing the imam repeatedly say 'n-word' throughout the ritual. She jokes about the absurdity of hearing it in a religious context and the imam complimenting her.

Interview: Kandyce reveals she was on in January, works at a debt consolidation company, loves traveling especially to Cuba. She discusses her Indian husband, how families initially reacted to their interracial relationship, and her earrings.

Set: Karen discusses being falsely accused of storming the Capitol, getting a pardon from Trump, and her 90-day incarceration during which she was raped. She jokes about scheduling medical procedures to get out of house arrest and comparing them to being raped.

Interview: Karen provides extensive updates about living on her son's property in Dripping Springs during house arrest, moving to Canyon Lake after making the ranch inhospitable, and a trip to a J6 reunion. Panel discusses the Capitol events and her experience with police.

Set: Aldo discusses his past as bass player for Menudo (Latin boy band), joking about the astronomical exchange rate of pesos to dollars, and speculating about which members would be molested. He makes dark jokes about child abuse in the context of the band.

Interview: Aldo discusses being a musician and comedian for eight years, specializing in guitar and bass. He mentions having a day named after him (November 15th) and founding the Caldo Festival that feeds 3,000 families, representing the Latino Music Association in Austin.

Set: Ari makes jokes about lack of penis enlargement technology progress and the cost-effectiveness of Mexican procedures that remove abdominal muscles for minimal inch gains. He complains about Elon Musk's Mars focus instead of solving this problem.

Interview: Ari discusses recent travels to New Orleans and Mobile, Alabama where the power went out during a show four times. He mentions drinking daily and having a good love life, with extended jokes about balls and penis appearance.

Set: Benjamin jokes about scrotox (Botox for testicles) and hair removal for tea-bagging. He tells a joke about his cousin's Chinese wedding with absurd food items (poodle kebabs, beagle burgers, leg of lamb).

Interview: Benjamin tells an extraordinarily long and complex story about owing Italian mobsters $80,000 from a cocaine debt, involving Mexican drug dealers, heroin addiction, burning down a house, being arrested by DEA, and ultimately being respected by the mob for not ratting them out.

Set: Luke makes self-deprecating jokes about being unattractive, jokes about a friend's ex-girlfriend texting about her boyfriend Tyler dying after confessing love, and a story about being cheated on where a friend calls the woman 'for the streets' or 'for the land.'

Interview: Luke owns the only comedy club in Newfoundland that hosts shows once a week. He mentions the club almost got cancelled after hosting the Danger Cats comedy group (tied to neo-Nazi allegations). He's also a screenwriter with a movie called Party Pirate on Amazon Prime.

Set: Neil discusses his grandfather's name being changed from Polish consonants/vowels to 'Norman Rubenstein' by immigration officials. He makes jokes about Jewish history never being good, with one exception when they were 'stepped on the well.'

Interview: Neil discusses his comedy album on Sirius XM, doing shows and generating royalties. He reveals his parents both died (mother from leukemia after chemo for breast cancer, father from age), admits to food addiction and emotional struggles with rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD).

Set: William discusses wiping his butt after peeing, jokes about 'my dog saved me' people actually stealing Lassie, Sesame Street puppets celebrating Pride Month and having anuses, ordering coffee variations, and references Aphex Twin.

Interview: William is the reigning defending hall of famer with record appearances on Kill Tony. He discusses rowing a million meters on a rowing machine to get his A1C down (pre-diabetic), and recently completed a puzzle between Friday and Sunday.