Kill Tony #711 — Andrew Schulz, Deric Poston
Guests: Andrew Schulz · Deric Poston
Lineup
Set: Comedic rant about pornography being blocked in Texas, the absurdity of age verification requiring a face photo with ID, and progression into darker porn tabs.
Interview: Discussed recent road work in Philadelphia and Atlantic City, sauna experiences in different cities, and preferences in adult content from Eastern Europe.
- Pornhub age verification requires sending face photo with ID to watch porn
- Scrolling through porn tabs gets progressively darker and more illegal
- Ari reveals his porn preferences involve darker content with crying women in storage units
Set: Observational comedy about gold diggers, fake girlfriends with racial fetishes, and absurd bedroom scenarios involving whipped cream and food items.
Interview: Afghan-American line cook who moved to Austin from Albany, has been performing stand-up for four years, enjoys dancing and chess.
- Gold digger overheard saying she needs boat and job; he offers canoe and internship
- Girlfriend makes him do blackface while she does whiteface for yin-yang 69
- Tony questions Jovan's actual existence of girlfriend; Jovan admits all girlfriends are imaginary
- Discussion of grumpy Asian girls as his preference; awkward impression attempt
Set: Jewish woman with German Shepherd dog having breastfeeding problems; uses dog bathroom habits as metaphor for disappointing relationships.
Interview: Extended interview revealed Sammy recently came out as gay, shared story of throwing up while performing oral sex, and has intense attachment to her dog.
- Got German Shepherd named after grandfather; wishes someone warned about breastfeeding issues
- Dog taking long time to poop reminds her how ex felt trying to make her come
- Red Band sexually harasses Sammy with questions about dog getting aroused around her
- Sammy reveals she threw up while going down on a girl for three minutes
- Sammy comes out as gay during interview, discusses childhood realization about sexuality
Set: Provocative comedy about lack of Black serial killers, Jeffrey Dahmer's bland food, and racial dynamics in crime documentaries.
Interview: Aerospace engineer from Ohio who recently moved from Las Vegas, trains Jiu-Jitsu for 5-6 years, plays guitar casually.
- Wishes there were more Black serial killers; would make Silence of Lambs funnier
- Jeffrey Dahmer from Wisconsin had bland food; needs soul food seasoning
- Will visibly nervous about controversial material; audience hesitant to laugh
- Revealed bad mushroom trip in Sedona where he attacked friend, thought they were trying to kill him
Set: Jokes about Three-Fifths Compromise, Michael Jackson bleaching his skin except genitals to lure children, graphic imagery.
Interview: 39-year-old T-Mobile employee recently fired for telling boss to get AIDS over work dispute, on heavy drinking bender since Wednesday.
- Three-Fifths Compromise used as metric for percentage of audience that laughs at race jokes
- Michael Jackson's bleached body and dark genitals as pedophilia reference
- Bryant visibly out of shape, sweating heavily; Tony mocks his physical condition
- Admits to 15 drinks already today, drinking since 11am daily, just fired from T-Mobile
- Fired for telling boss to get AIDS over work dispute; broke up via text
Set: Theory about cuckolding starting from childhood trauma witnessing mother during thunderstorm; commentary on cuckold culture in white communities.
Interview: Discussed father pressuring him into cuckolding, various offers from couples at comedy shows, recent trip to Canada where he saw an Indian person with a bindi.
- Cuckold fetish origin theory: seven-year-old witnessing mother getting dominated during thunderstorm
- His penis is not huge so would feel weird in cuckold scenario if he pulls it out
- Kam's father wants him to have sex with couples' wives; thinks son is weak
- First time seeing Indian person with bindi in Canada; confusion about cultural practice
Set: Jokes about lack of Black pickle ball players, WNBA commentary about Britney Griner, absurdist question about circumcised dildos.
Interview: Mechanical designer, performed for year and a half, sleeps in a hammock for two years, lives with grandfather.
- No Black pickle ball players yet but will dominate like all other sports eventually
- Why are all dildos circumcised; examined dildo during solo activity
- Reveals sleeps in hammock for two years straight; refuses normal bed
- Takes girls back to hammock; they say 'I can make this work'
- Jet ski Jesse Johnson makes extensive hammock sexual position jokes
Set: San Antonio jokes about remembering the Alamo constantly, contrast between white and regular homeless people in Austin, observations about Santa Claus on heroin.
Interview: 31-year-old from San Antonio, two years of stand-up, works at Office Depot, coaches Andrew Schulz about his potential as comedian.
- Tired of remembering the Alamo; white people giving him tests about it constantly
- White homeless people in Austin paid college tuition like meeting Santa Claus on heroin
- Andrew Schulz gives genuine coaching about Peter's potential as comedian
- Peter admits worst Mexican stereotype failure: can't speak Spanish, fix cars, or clean
- Describes himself as third funniest Gonzalez of the night after Matt and drummer Michael
Set: Childhood bullying about serial killer vibes reframed as compliments, commentary on girls obsessed with serial killers like Ted Bundy.
Interview: Eight years of stand-up from New Jersey and Philly, works at pizza place that was visited by Dave Portnoy, lost 400 lbs through walking and gym.
- Childhood bullying about serial killer vibes; reframes as compliments after watching documentaries
- Girls obsessed with serial killers like Ted Bundy think 'I can fix him'
- Dave Portnoy rated Tyler's pizza place 7.4; reveals pizzeria spy network alerts owners
- Tyler lost 400 lbs through walking five miles three times weekly; has no buttocks
- Lives in basement of family home with two brothers, sister, and their significant others