Kill Tony #710 — Tyler Fischer, Kam Patterson
Guests: Tyler Fischer · Kam Patterson
Lineup
Set: Self-deprecating material about appearance and Middle Eastern heritage; jokes about Viagra usage in Southern states and racism.
Interview: Discussed his Jordanian parents, family pita bakery business, and current work as an Uber driver; mentioned carrying a small knife for protection.
- South loves Viagra because they want their dicks to rise
- He's a racist Arabic guy, not a racist white guy
- Shows tiny knife he carries, panel reacts with confusion about its usefulness
Set: Nine-eleven themed material about women's arguments and relationships; poorly constructed with problematic comparisons.
Interview: First-time stand-up performer; truck driver getting married tomorrow; discussed relationship with fiancée Alexandria and lack of crazy road stories.
- Women timing arguments like terrorism, waiting to detonate
- Tony stops him mid-set due to problematic nine-eleven material
- Reveals he's getting married tomorrow night and this was his first stand-up set
Set: Material about mixed ethnicity, being expensive garbage, and Puerto Rican/Jewish stereotypes; jokes about driving safely and childhood trauma.
Interview: 10+ years in comedy; moved to Austin from Hawaii in September; Jiu Jitsu fighter with 15 gold medals; property manager dealing with drug issues; likes Black women.
- Puerto Rican and Jewish means being expensive garbage
- Peed on dad in cemetery to show love like mom taught
- Tyler and Billy swap shirts mid-interview; Billy's shirt fits Tyler better than his own
- Discussion of Billy's cauliflower ear from Jiu Jitsu training
Set: Story about drunk Vegas taxi ride where both he and driver turned out to be Indian; material about body image and dating smaller women.
Interview: First-time on show; 2.5 years stand-up; works in tech support from home; dating a Latina woman; lives in West LA.
- Drunk attempt to speak Spanish to Indian taxi driver
- Awkward hugs with women who have smaller breasts than him
- Panel repeatedly calls out his Indian heritage and gets him to remove shirt
Set: Observational humor about homeless comedians, underwear in trash, and family dynamics; mostly crowd work and awkward observations.
Interview: 51 years old; 10+ years attempting stand-up since 2013; quality control in food industry; cycler/triathlete; hasn't had sex in 3 years; wears thick glasses.
- So many homeless people at comedy show that they fall out
- Craig and Tyler swap shirts and glasses; Craig looks dramatically younger without glasses
- Reveals severe vision problems; can barely see fingers; eye doctor said he's unfixable
Juanita
Set: Material about steroid-induced mania and accidentally cutting off her pinky with chainsaw; attempts dark humor about self-harm and trauma.
Interview: Been called 'guana' for long time; 17 years old went to prison by accident for marijuana hidden in car; tattoo artist and DoorDash driver; missing left pinky.
- Steroids give her retard strength and she cut her finger off
- Reveals suicide attempt in 2021 after friend's death; overdosed on 45 Xanax bars
- Panel and Tony express deep concern about her mental health and stability
Set: Quick jokes about plant-carrying women and pronouns; minimal material before time runs out.
Interview: Drums player since 2005; claims COVID vaccine damaged both shoulders, lost all arm mobility; works as creative director for gaming/crypto company; moved to Austin from San Francisco.
- Fat woman carrying plant is furniture for her living room
- Drums competition between Chris and blind D Madness; Chris performs poorly and falls
- Claims vaccine-induced shoulder injury prevents drum playing, but then plays anyway
Longoria
Set: Story about seeing gay and lesbian couples kissing at red lights, then joking about a comic friend on motorcycle being 'riding bitch'.
Interview: 1 year of stand-up; 32 years old; dog groomer with mobile salon; works with aggressive dogs; half Egyptian/half Mexican; parents still together; has 4 dogs.
- Guy holding onto Harley rider's waist is definitely riding bitch
- Reveals he's been on show before without hat; shows scarred ear
Set: Opening about fertility clinic lawsuit and reverse situation with his mother; political jokes about Eric Swalwell and Hillary Clinton; jokes about Hooters bankruptcy.
Interview: Regular performer; doing well on rowing machine (91 miles since Feb 3); recently solving digestive issues with prune juice; discussed fluid distribution in body.
- White woman sues fertility clinic for black baby; his mom had opposite problem
- Hooters bankruptcy filing options: chapter 7, 11, or 36 double D
- Tony acknowledges William as one of the best regulars with consistently strong sets