Kill Tony #713 — Sam Tallent, Ian Edwards

Set: Jack discusses getting an acting manager and the types of auditions he's sent on—all unflattering roles that typecast him as autistic or pathetic. He lands a callback for 'dumb guy number two' over a severely autistic competitor.

Interview: Tony and the panel grill Jack about his managers' names, his Jewish identity, and his various small acting roles including a Spectrum commercial and a Hulu show. Jack expresses his dream of being a Jewish Jedi and Tony riffs on Star Wars characters played by someone who looks like Jack.

Set: Phillip jokes about secretly crushing Plan B pills into his Catholic Latina girlfriend's eggs to prevent pregnancy. He makes jokes about the cost and a confused conversation she had about toilet anatomy.

Interview: Tony questions Phillip's understanding of reproduction and whether the Plan B is actually effective. Discussion covers Phillip's work at Sunset Strip, his viral content from Sixth Street interviews, his girlfriend Ali XX's music career, his golf habit, and a DUI in Wisconsin.

Set: Annie, only 6 weeks into comedy, compares motherhood across generations to a pyramid scheme. She jokes about her inability to do taxes and makes references to American Samoan status and other absurdist humor.

Interview: Tony learns Annie is a 10-year golf professional at Spanish Oaks in Bee Cave, teaches 5-year-olds golf, and is from Indiana. The interview evolves into comedians trying to determine the 'whitest' and 'Latinx' things about her, landing on shopping at Ross and drawing her eyebrows on.

Set: Kai jokes about seeing a sign at a Japanese airport prohibiting export of Wagyu beef semen without permission, then riffs on wishing his own semen were important enough to smuggle across borders and cause international incidents.

Interview: Kai is the second-time golden ticket winner from last week. Discussion covers his visit home to Japan, his girlfriend working at a ramen shop in Toronto, his parents' concerns about honor if he doesn't make it in comedy, his father's nail salon in Tokyo, his mother's vegetable control job, and his girlfriend refusing to let him eat her out.

Set: Jimmy discusses his depression and therapy, jokes about a friend saying his parents would understand if he killed himself, and complains about a married friend with kids who thinks his problems are worse than everyone else's.

Interview: Jimmy has 6.5 years of stand-up experience, started in Binghamton NY, moved to Orlando for rehab from pill addiction, and discusses his recovery. The interview covers his method of meeting men on Grindr to get cocaine, getting his soft dick sucked, relapsing two weeks ago with Adderall and mushrooms while dog-sitting, and a suicide attempt involving a gun that was interrupted by his friend Joe's phone call.

Set: Mike jokes about Harriet Tubman being his favorite human trafficker because she did it for love, not money. He riffs on the actual number of people she saved (70) being disappointingly low and makes jokes about people's reactions to learning this.

Interview: Mike reveals he got an ice cream sponsorship from his previous Kill Tony appearance which created a flavor called 'Mike Eaton.' He also discusses getting a CPAP machine from a fan and his recent use of street Ozempic from the dark web to lose weight, losing 50 lbs while continuing to eat ice cream.

Set: Kam does a St. Patrick's Day special joking that it's the gayest holiday ever and an excuse for drunk white people to touch him. He claims leprechauns are gay and spells 'leprechaun' as 'LGBTQ' before the time runs out.

Interview: Kam discusses his new premium toilet paper with a bear (Charmin), his habit of stealing toilet paper from Airbnbs with his friends, and his newfound love of tea now that he has money. The interview is very casual and fun with Kam excited about his life improvements.

Set: Cam G, a tall white male and comedy newcomer, jokes that Kill Tony has made him a diversity hire. He references Hitler's disappointment, promises not to blame the Jews if he fails, and blames hot singles ads instead.

Interview: Cam is 9 months into stand-up in Fort Worth, celebrating his birthday weekend in Austin. He's a disabled Navy veteran, bartender-turned-comedy-quitter, and mentions his ex-girlfriend is now his ex-boyfriend (transition). Interview is notably difficult as Cam provides minimal interesting answers.

Set: Ankar jokes that STDs are scary but dating as a man is scarier because it's expensive. He'd rather get crabs in the bedroom than pay for crabs at dinner. He also compares HIV scares to market price unknowns, then jokes about a heavy girl calling his uncut penis 'extra skin.'

Interview: Ankar is Punjabi from Houston with 2 years of stand-up, works as an aeronautics engineer with classified work, and only dates women except for Indian women. Discussion covers his encounter with a black woman from the audience, lasting 12-13 minutes, and his intentional avoidance of her afterwards.