Phillip Garcia
Phillip Garcia has performed on Kill Tony 7 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Phillip jokes about secretly crushing Plan B pills into his Catholic Latina girlfriend's eggs to prevent pregnancy. He makes jokes about the cost and a confused conversation she had about toilet anatomy.
- Crushing Plan B in girlfriend's eggs—it's an abortion inside an abortion.
Phillip discusses turning 27 and listening to Fox News Radio, school shooting arguments about British accents and Second Amendment, sacrificing school kids to avoid British pronunciation and letter u in American words.
- Turned 27, now listening to Fox News Radio; wouldn't care if kids died to avoid British accents
- Would sacrifice kids so we don't have British accents and don't put u in color or favorite
Phillip performed a tight bit about car crashes and embarrassing music blaring from car speakers. He discussed the awkwardness of embarrassing songs playing during serious situations.
- Terrified of car crash embarrassment from drunk driving music
- DMT experience as blade of grass being sniffed by cow
Phillip officiates buddy's wedding, kid asks help with belt buckle, Phillip declines saying 'not this weekend I'm a preacher'. References Philip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt), Transformers/Bumblebee drivers having mental health issues like Shia LaBeouf.
- Officiated wedding as preacher, kid asks help with belt, declines
- Philip Seymour Hoffman Doubt reference comparing actor names
- Transformers fans identify by yellow/black Camaro, mentally ill like Shia
Set about burying family dogs in rental property backyards, leaving trail of dead pets (dogs, fish, turtle, Boston terrier) across homes, archaeologist future discovery, Lone Star 2.2% beer, stoned observations about step-kids being beat 'twice as long,' water bills.
- Family of renters burying dogs in every backyard; archaeologist future discovery of pets.
- Lone Star 24/7 brew (2.2%) lets you enjoy shitty taste all day long.
No set recap for this appearance.
Phillip makes jokes about old veterans with young Asian women, car kidnappings being a poor person's problem (old cars), and 2003 Kias needing jump starts.
- Old veterans with young Asian women, wondering if he took her
- Amber alerts show old cars, poor people problems, jump starts needed