Kill Tony #675 — William Montgomery, Nick Swardson
Guests: William Montgomery · Nick Swardson
Lineup
Set: High-energy jokes about energy drinks vs. women, pickup lines, and self-deprecating humor about lacking game and having stepdad energy.
Interview: Drew discusses his first self-produced 20-minute show in Plano, his high-energy comedy style, and the importance of taking breaks during long sets.
- Can't get Red Bull pregnant, unlike women
- Stepdad energy: pay phone bill but not in group chat
- Drew reveals he recently did his first 20-minute self-produced show
Set: Jokes about moving to Texas, southern political racism ads, missing the South, and Trump assassination attempt reactions compared to New York.
Interview: Ethan discusses his 6-month comedy journey, supportive Asian parents, his sales job selling toothbrushes, and his recent breakup.
- NC political ads claim China turning rivers to miso/wonton soup
- New York empty when Trump shot, but South stayed engaged
- Tony mistakes Ethan for a woman, Ethan corrects him humorously
Set: Pro wrestling bed moves named after celebrities, conspiracy theory jokes about pedophiles and Sandy Hook conspiracy.
Interview: Corynn discusses her one year of standup, being from Louisiana, her gay boyfriend who loves wrestling, fitness training business, and Muay Thai background.
- Vinnie Mac bedroom move: sex traffic and come on face
- Drizzy Drake move: sex with kids and act Black
- Pedophiles can't win races, always come in behind
- Corynn demonstrates Muay Thai shadow boxing on stage
- William asks if she was fired from Lululemon, callback to name confusion
Set: Observational humor about rock climbers, Delta 8 weed named after airlines, and recent breakup with girlfriend.
Interview: JT discusses 3 years of standup in Austin, just moving to an exotic animal ranch owned by his sister, and his camel problem.
- Rock climbers should use ladders, not reinvent them
- Delta 8 weed should be named Malaysian Flight 370 for getting lost
- Revelation of living on exotic animal ranch with problematic camel
- Discussion of zadonk (zebra-donkey hybrid) and African tortoise sex noises
Set: Stories about guided tours in Green Bay and Louisville Slugger factory, tour guide respect levels, and telling kids they won't make MLB.
Interview: Kam discusses Louisville tour, KFC Yum Center arena name, parents hating each other during visit, and his mother never bringing men around growing up.
- Tour guy in Louisville disrespected tour by acting indifferent
- Told baseball kids they won't make MLB unless Dominican
- Kam reveals KFC Yum Center is real name of Louisville arena
- Kam reveals parents hate each other and father stalks mother
Set: Observational jokes about bisexuals, Quasimodo safe words, pineapple and cum, and pickup line failures.
Interview: Jordan reveals he's a full-time musician and father of two, previously did drum solo competition against Michael, and has dark childhood trauma.
- Ex-girlfriend's safe word was Quasimodo
- Pineapple makes cum taste good vs big pineapple conspiracy
- Mexican drum off rematch between Jordan and Michael Gonzalez
- Jordan mentions man died in yard at age 8
Set: Brief political commentary about Abraham Lincoln and race relations with heavy social commentary.
Interview: Eoghan reveals Irish heritage with Gaelic name pronunciation, works as industrial engineer, previously competed in drum solo, calls out ex-girlfriend Ava and gets her to agree to another date.
- Tony calls Eoghan's ex-girlfriend Ava live on air and she agrees to another date
- Eoghan makes cricket noise talent on stage
Set: Jokes about stem cell injections, losing disability while gaining new one, police interactions, and still running slow.
Interview: Aaron discusses stem cell treatment timeline, quit his job, cerebral palsy affecting his voice, relationship with Gary Falcon, and announced tour with Martin Phillips.
- Lost one disability (wheelchair) but gained another (police profile)
- Still runs slow as hell despite stem cells
- Aaron reveals he hasn't actually received stem cells yet, rescheduled
- Gary Falcon converses with Aaron who uses speech synthesizer
Chin Wei
Set: Observational humor about ex calling him worst sex, pandemic beginnings, monkey bars, and dating suicidal girls.
Interview: Chin moved to Austin in March from Bay Area, is 26, works as server, attended Boulder college, plays poker and golf, hasn't kissed anyone since moving.
- Ex said worst sex then came out as gay
- Can't date girls who tried to kill themselves, commitment issues
- Therapist Lori comes on stage and kisses Chin
- Lori reveals she's been on show before and kissed someone on air
Jason Elrod
Set: Jokes about sexual practices like the stranger (numb hand masturbation) remixed into the stepdad (slapping kids).
Interview: Jason discusses 10 months of standup, water birth of son Hunter at home in tub, daughter Ava age 11, crunchy hippie lifestyle, hasn't showered in 3 days.
- Stranger: numb hand masturbation remixed to slapping kids
- Tony gives serious coaching about personal material and authenticity
- Jason reveals crunchy hippie past including following Phish and selling LSD
Set: Childhood bullying about Asian appearance with Chino nickname, racist songs from cousins and teachers, Mexican groundscaping work.
Interview: Anthony is white and Mexican, works in groundscaping for apartments, experienced childhood bullying with Chino nickname.
- Cousins called him Chino (Chinese), sang racist song
- Set ends abruptly as Anthony seems to cut himself off