Kill Tony #512 — Ron White

Set: Hans Kim delivers clever observational jokes about vaccines, autism diagnosis in bars, coronavirus lab leak theory, and condom mishaps. His comedy is smart, well-structured, and showcases strong comedic timing.

Interview: Tony praises Hans's intelligence and jokes. Hans discusses floating down the Martindale River on mushrooms while looking for a lost child. Ron compliments his stage presence and calm demeanor.

Set: Ben Howard performs jokes about being single, zodiac signs determining compatibility, and the premise that tornadoes should be named like hurricanes (with the punchline being 'Doug'). The tornado naming bit is his strongest material.

Interview: Tony and Ron coach Ben on his joke structure. Ben has Tourette's syndrome with tics including winking and middle finger extension. He works for a moving company called 'Little Guys' despite being 6'3". Raw-dogging his girlfriend of 5 years.

Set: Tony Aravalo discusses his girlfriend suddenly wanting sex when he watches Kill Tony and having to choose between watching the show or his girlfriend. The bit is disjointed and doesn't land well with the audience.

Interview: Tony reveals his 5-year live-in girlfriend has been cheating on him but he's okay with it because she's very attractive and he doesn't plan to marry her. He works in construction installing fire alarm systems. His fourth stand-up appearance.

Set: David Lucas performs sharp material about his eight abortions under his belt and four miscarriages with his current girlfriend. His jokes about ghost babies killing new babies and dark subject matter showcase his strong comedic writing.

Interview: Tony roasts David's shirt which has two men putting asses together. David discusses his girlfriend being a borderline Hooters calendar girl who is way too hot for him. He's a Kill Tony regular based in Los Angeles but spends time in Austin.

Set: Myles Johnson delivers observational jokes about translingual people, his gay brother's hardship, and being unironically into Linkin Park as a black person. His set is likable and shows promise with good stage presence.

Interview: Myles is from Temple, Texas, graduated from UT with economics degree in 2018. Works as auditor at UT. Has been doing stand-up 1.5 years in Austin. Dates an Indian girlfriend he met on Tinder who is a special education English teacher.

Set: Fuzzy performs about losing weight and struggling with women, using Muslim dating app Minder (now Salams). His best material involves fake profile pictures including him eating pork ribs with 'hashtag Ramadan' and smoking with the Bible.

Interview: Fuzzy is Pakistani (from Pakistan, not Mos Eisley). Single for over a year, hasn't dated in Austin. Works as coordinating producer for sports league. Dad is Pakistani private detective who loved Kill Tony with Louis J. Gomez.

Set: William Montgomery performs dark material using written jokes about Amber alerts with product placement ads, and observational humor about reading from papers. His material is controversial but expertly crafted, showcasing his unique comedic voice.

Interview: William is 31 days sober and has cocaine stashed in jacket pocket for a special occasion. Girlfriend still drinks, creating temptation. Recently they experienced a ghost in bathroom (shower curtain fell). Binge-watching Survivor. Replacing drinking/cocaine with Eggo waffles addiction.

Set: Paul Cyphers performs shocking material about being attracted to Nintendo 64 controllers, playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater without hands, and jokes about Mortal Kombat characters including Jax (disabled) and Reptile (Jewish forecloser).

Interview: Paul moved to Austin from Massachusetts in April, 3 years stand-up experience. Has girlfriend Alyssa at home. Played Super Smash Bros competitively for money. On third appearance of Kill Tony.

Set: Holly Johnston performs relatable material about living with parents at 23, struggling with relationships, and her parents' divorce. Her strongest bit reimagines wedding videos played in reverse as divorce videos, creating a clever visual metaphor.

Interview: Holly is 23, recently moved to Austin from Massachusetts. Studied abroad in Queensland, Australia for 3 months (scuba diving, skydiving). Two years stand-up experience. Starts job at Opal Divines restaurant tomorrow. Was a research assistant for neurology lab.

Set: DK Pravwho performs about meeting a girl for what he thought was a booty call that turned out to be a Bible study. He contrasts Cards Against Humanity with the Bible, saying it's like the Bible with less rape.

Interview: DK is from India, software engineer from College Station (100 miles away). Drives a Nissan Sentra. Never kissed a white girl before. Hasn't dated in a year. Used to dance. During show, lady from audience kisses him on stage after Tony jokes about it.

Set: Michael Lehrer performs 3:50 of new material including controversial jokes about being mistaken for gay due to his appearance, having a 22-year-old son he didn't raise, Sonic commercials, and other sharp material. He has ALS and uses a wheelchair.

Interview: Michael discusses transitioning from 20 years of improv at Second City to stand-up. Recently became interested in Texas Hold'em poker with degenerate gamblers. Two of them will bet $1,000 on who's funnier doing their first stand-up minute.