KILL TONY Wiki

Kill Tony #591 — David Lucas, Luna Lucas

📅 December 26, 2022 📍 Austin, TX Vulcan Gas Company 🎤 10 comedians ⭐ 1 regular

Guests: David Lucas · Luna Lucas

Open on YouTube ↗

Lineup

1

Time Boy

Set: Self-deprecating humor about food, UFC fighter intro music, and Adele songs. Mix of observational jokes delivered at a moderate pace.

Interview: Discussed startup company making sustainable houses, Indian ethnicity confirmed, approach to dating white women via Instagram.

Bits:
  • If he was UFC fighter, wants Cosby Show theme as intro music
  • Every Adele song sounds like she's singing to empty ice cream container
Moments:
  • Luna Lucas gives him 'bye-bye' gesture after his set, huge crowd reaction
2

Nathan Summers

Set: Set about dating deaf girl with erectile dysfunction jokes and American Sign Language misunderstandings. Story-driven bit with physical comedy elements.

Interview: School psychologist from Albuquerque, first time doing stand-up, has two kids from two different mothers, served in Fort Polk.

Bits:
  • Deaf girlfriend signs something that sounds like she's talking about him
Moments:
  • David Lucas comments on his energy sounding like domestic violence, questions if he beats women
3

Tre Wright

Set: Self-deprecating jokes about girlfriend crashing car, bartending complaints, and sexual insecurity about throat gagging. Absurdist punchlines.

Interview: 27 years old from Phoenix, first time, can put his own penis in his own butthole. Tony asks which anatomical route he takes.

Bits:
  • Girlfriend crashed car but now he can pump gas without being asked for money
  • How can girlfriend deepthroat but he gags brushing teeth? Babe, you got big toothbrush
Moments:
  • Tony and David Lucas discuss whether he can self-penetrate; Luna Lucas curses on YouTube
4

Holliday Sullivan

Set: Jokes about unusual Irish name, assumptions about drinking and eating due to size. Self-deprecating humor about lifestyle and appearance.

Interview: 50-year-old, previously performed under different name (Mabel), teacher, lives with two dogs and two cats, single mother energy.

Bits:
  • People assume Sullivan last name means she drinks; confirms she does
  • Big people asked 'how did you do that?' in reverse; they enjoy eating and not moving
Moments:
  • David Lucas roasts her outfit as drier lint, compares to White Lotus character
  • Luna Lucas makes Baby Shark reference, possibly about her teaching
5

Sasha Kaminsky

Moments:
  • Sasha Kaminsky was pulled from bucket but never appeared on stage
6

Fuzzy Khilji

Set: Muslim upbringing jokes about tattoos and heaven, Farishta angel bit. Jokes about Muslims at TSA compared to other religions.

Interview: Nearly 3 years Austin stand-up, works door at club, Uber Eats driver, $450 rent with two roommates, self-described as having bad dating luck.

Bits:
  • Mom said tattoos prevent Muslim heaven; counterargument: tattoo with Farishta's name
  • Muslims go to same heaven as other religions; they just have to get through TSA
Moments:
  • David Lucas gives him coaching on confidence and how to approach women; models pickup interaction
7

D-Madness

Set: First stand-up attempt by kill Tony band's drummer (blind for 35 years). Set about blindness, wild things he's done, keeps audience guessing.

Interview: Blind musician for 35 years, plays drums/violin, attended school for blind, jokes about not being able to drive despite doing so.

Bits:
  • Has worst eyes in world; has done crazy things he won't discuss on interview
  • Being blind is okay because he can still do things he shouldn't; like driving
Moments:
  • D-Madness plays extended drum solo; standing ovation from entire crowd
  • Historical moment: Kill Tony band member doing first stand-up set on show
8

Aaron Bressler

Set: Rambling set about Fall River Massachusetts (known for chicken chow mein and fentanyl), hemorrhoids from Jeep bumper 14 years ago. Confusing pacing.

Interview: From Fall River, Massachusetts, quit job and drove to California but stayed in Austin instead. Has stage 3 dementia diagnosed mid-interview.

Bits:
  • Fall River known for chicken chow mein, shitties, peppers and fentanyl boofing
  • Got hemorrhoids 14 years ago from sitting on 1991 Jeep Wrangler bumper; never treated
Moments:
  • Aaron reveals he has stage 3 dementia mid-interview; Tony says he should have opened with that
  • Entire audience boos when Aaron says he hates comedians and trash stand-up
9

Bruno Ifebi

Set: Jokes about rappers' poor financial decisions (Lil Boosie gas tank song), visitor from Bronx, desensitization to violence timing joke.

Interview: Second-year medical student from Dallas studying pediatrics (not OB-GYN), visited from Brooklyn, Nigerian-born, previously smoked weed with Hans Kim.

Bits:
  • Rappers bad with money; Lil Boosie song about full gas tank but spending on drinks
  • Bronx lady warned him about shooting before work; too early in day for gun violence
Moments:
  • Audience heckler (woman) yells 'don't be an OB-GYN'; Tony embarrasses her back
  • Tony mentions Bruno and Hans Kim smoked weed together at Creek and Cave in Queens
10

Hans Kim

Regular

Set: Asian perspective jokes (babies, bring-your-daughter-to-work trap), shoe size = woman's size 12 = 'giant woman's dick'. Short written bits.

Interview: Did sold-out Tacoma shows, didn't speak to parents, Asian Thanksgiving traditions, recently single, had sexual encounters in multiple cities.

Bits:
  • As Asian rarely see baby girls; usually scrap them and try for boy
  • Men's shoe size 10.5 equals women's 12, meaning he has giant woman's dick
Moments:
  • David Lucas roasts him about eyes looking like back pocket of jeans
  • Hans admits to bringing cocaine on airplane in carry-on with mushrooms and marijuana