Kill Tony #590 — Adam Eget
Guests: Adam Eget
Lineup
Set: Hans discusses fake service dogs meeting each other, driving a moped in Texas where people can't kill him, and finding a dead raccoon in his crawl space.
Interview: Tony and Adam discuss Hans's moped driving, his recent success headlining shows with door deals, and the dead raccoon under his house that took two garbage bags to remove.
- Fake service dogs meeting each other and losing all pretenses of being official.
- Driving a moped means people can't T-bone you because it's not long enough.
- Dead raccoon in crawl space that took two garbage bags to remove.
- Tony and Adam both tell Hans his set was weak compared to usual performance.
- Red Band and Hans have a brief roast exchange about Red Band's girlfriend.
Set: Chandler, only three months into comedy, jokes about being ugly, his girlfriend talking about C-sections, his stripper mother, and his bodybuilder father.
Interview: Tony learns Chandler is 23, from Dallas, an IT guy, was a professional video game player, and his parents were a stripper mother and white bodybuilder father (now a lawyer in Colorado).
- Every time he posts a picture online, people comment about how brave he is.
- His mom was a stripper and he had a comeback about bullies: their dad saves money, he got his college fund.
- His girlfriend can talk for six hours about C-sections.
- Chandler successfully catches a gel blaster despite being self-described as unathletic.
- Tony roasts Chandler's appearance, comparing him to Rick Moranis and Peter Griffin.
Set: Bruce discusses real estate investor talk at 31, shitting his pants in a bar as a true test of plans, and trying to find food options when Jimmy John's is closed.
Interview: Tony learns Bruce is 31, married six months, in tech sales, does Jiu Jitsu, and has a wife in property management. He didn't know about Kill Tony before arriving.
- Real planning only comes when you're about to shit your pants in a bar.
- When Jimmy John's isn't open, you have limited food options like Ally.
- Tony and Adam aren't impressed with Bruce's set compared to the opener.
Set: Fiona, a first-time comedian and electrical project manager, tells stories about coworkers Dan and Kyle from her job, including conversations about talking to women and sexual encounters.
Interview: Tony discovers Fiona is named Ilona, has three grown children (31, 29, 27), rides a Ducati motorcycle, is single, and left a seven-year relationship about a year and a half ago.
- Coworker Dan says he can't talk to beautiful women because they get nervous.
- Kyle got some dick last night, creating workplace drama.
- Tony calls the set horrible but praises the interview energy, comparing her to every relationship where someone gets home and rambles.
- D Madness plays instruments during interview, creating comedic interference that Tony calls out.
Set: Afrodyete, a returning legend performing for the first time in years, does comedy about COVID, Santa Claus in the hood, eating healthy food making your ass shrink, and not having the rona virus.
Interview: Afrodyete reveals she's 67 years old, legally named Aphrodite Love Johnson, started on Kill Tony in 2016, survived COVID with asthma, lost weight everywhere except her ass due to surgery.
- Santa got shot up in the hood; no 'hoe' in the hood so they barbecued the reindeer.
- Eating healthy makes your ass shrink; she kept her ass through weight loss.
- She doesn't have COVID anymore but now has asthma.
- Afrodyete performs with the Top Shelf Brass Band, singing a song about love and relationships.
- Tony and Afrodyete have genuine warm reunion energy after years of not seeing her perform.
Set: Keanan, a first-time comic from Seattle who just moved to Austin a week ago, does dark material about gun violence affecting his niece's carpool, jokes about deaf schools and shootings, and uses edgy punchlines.
Interview: Tony learns Keanan quit a bank job in July, moved to Texas in August after seeing Hans's show, found a traumatic comedy in life events, and ate mushrooms causing temporary blindness.
- Gun violence keeps meat on table and protects family but messes up niece's carpool.
- No shootings at deaf schools—because you never hear about it.
- Audience boos Keanan during set; Tony doesn't give him a gel blaster as punishment.
- Adam warns Tony not to let Keanan back because he's afraid he'll shoot everyone.
Set: Nico, a first-time comedian and chemist-turned-OnlyFans creator, discusses discomfort with unconditional love for Black people, a chimp throwing poop with graceful accuracy, and questions about his life's hesitations.
Interview: Tony learns Nico is from Chicago, moved to San Diego recently due to mobility with his OnlyFans income, had Hodgkin's lymphoma cancer, and his father Antonio Alfonso was initially unhappy but responded vaguely on a call.
- Uncomfortable meeting Black people because it's another person to love unconditionally.
- Chimp threw poop with graceful accuracy and fluid motion at elderly woman.
- Questioning where he's hesitating in life after seeing chimp's commitment.
- Tony calls Nico's father Alfonso live on stage to gauge his approval of his son's OnlyFans work.
- Alfonso's response to whether he's proud is ambiguous—'maybe maybe'—leaving the question unanswered.
Set: William performs a tight set about going as Frosty the Snowman for Christmas, double-teaming someone's wife with Frosty, Billy Crystal's wife getting pneumonia, Frosty's pronouns, and why Frosty melted (Aphex Twin mixtape).
Interview: Tony learns William bought three turtlenecks from Lands End, ate SpaghettiOs, was hunting homeless people with Keanan in Seattle, plans to bring weed on plane to Memphis, has a fight with his mother about looking like Lollipop Guild/Yukon Cornelius.
- Going as Frosty the Snowman; double-teaming Frosty with someone's wife creates strong bonds.
- Frosty's pronouns are he/him unless in Dominican Republic, then LL Coool.
- Frosty melted because Santa brought him Aphex Twin mixtape and he finally listened.
- Long segment where Tony compares William to Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph via Google Images, William denies it, his mom roasted him the same way.
- William reveals he and Keanan were trapping homeless people in nets in Seattle; Red Band uncomfortably plays along.