Kill Tony #573 — Joe Rogan
Guests: Joe Rogan
Lineup
Set: Hans jokes about women, the Marines vs Navy rivalry, and being defensive about military jokes. He uses self-deprecating humor and ends by disclaiming harm to the armed forces.
Interview: Discussion of why he wrote the anti-Marine joke, his growth from homelessness to arena work, and anecdotes about recent travels to Salt Lake City.
- Women can love dogs with one eye but not him.
- Marines and Navy are redundant; suggests alternative armed forces like lava or fog.
- Tony and Joe discuss Hans's willingness to 'try shit' even if it doesn't work, noting he needs guidance on risky jokes.
- Callback to previous Salt Lake City episode where Hans's scrotum was discussed.
Set: Alex tells a long COVID lockdown roleplay story with his girlfriend that goes off the rails. He struggles with the sexual roleplay premise and pivots to selling ExLax.
Interview: Tony learns Alex is 7 feet tall from Winnipeg, works construction, has been doing comedy 7 years, and surprises everyone with impressive animal calls (goose and moose).
- COVID roleplay goes wrong when he suggests selling ExLax instead of sex.
- Seven years comedy with one COVID joke as backup.
- Alex performs authentic goose and moose calls that impress the panel and audience.
- Tony roasts Alex for being a 'comedian for gooses' after animal calls succeed where jokes failed.
Set: Bradley discusses backup plans, his time in jail and the judicial system, comparing Cosby's sentence to a woman climbing the Statue of Liberty. Strong callback at the end.
Interview: Bradley reveals he's homeless (slept under tarp 2 weeks ago in Colorado), just moved to Austin 4 days ago, now living in a 16-person hostel, and has a child on the way.
- Cosby got 5-10 years; woman got 5 years climbing Statue of Liberty; he climbed more.
- Tony emphasizes Bradley's inspiring pivot from sleeping under a tarp to performing in Austin within two weeks.
- Bradley reveals living situation: 16 people in a macro house with 4 bathrooms, $500/month on North Lamar.
Raman
Set: Ramin, first time on show, nervous, makes a bomb threat joke. Discusses moving from Massachusetts to Austin, Torchy's tacos named after women, makes tasteless joke about wet slut.
Interview: Ramin is Persian, from Newton (Boston area), moved to Austin in January, does tech sales, has been doing comedy 6 months, hosts his own Knee Slapper Comedy Carnival.
- Moved to Austin for diversity but found even more white people.
- Torchy's tacos named after women; wants to order 'wet slut' taco.
- D Madness plays suspicious music when Ramin makes Persian yoga joke, suggesting stereotyping.
- Ramin admits he hasn't watched Kill Tony before coming, just randomly signed up.
Set: David performs explicit material about anal sex, discussing why it's problematic, with graphic details about hygiene and his preferences. High-energy, no-holds-barred comedy.
Interview: Discussion of Tony's friendship bracelet, David making observations about Tony's appearance, Red Band's clothing, and the dynamic between them with constant roasting.
- Anal sex is gay; the ass is an exit, unclean, no self-lubrication.
- Fingering tactic: covering the hole to prevent 'queef air' from asshole.
- David aggressively roasts Tony about his appearance, relationship, and body using rapid-fire comparisons.
- John Deez creates synthesizer sounds mimicking David's fart/dog-whistle asshole.
- David mentions recent Miami trip opening for Doug Stanhope and Trussell.
Set: Klaus performs an over-the-top character bit as Klaus Schwab Jr claiming his father is Santa Claus and will control world order. Extremely absurdist, goes way over time, incoherent.
Interview: Tony struggles to interview the character; Klaus stays in character throughout. Reveals he's been performing this character for 16 months, made videos online, followed by Eddie Bravo.
- Klaus will own everything including cars, food, sperm, and babies via chips.
- Klaus goes significantly over the 60-second time limit with incoherent character material.
- Tony notes that character-based comedy rarely works on Kill Tony despite Klaus's preparation.
Set: Brett delivers three quick jokes: porn discovery, high school bully apology, and a broken condom he now reuses as lucky charm. Tight, punchy delivery.
Interview: Brett has been doing comedy 3 years (2 in Dallas, 1 in Austin), works in tech sales filming soccer/baseball games, gets offered opening slot for Thursday secret show, receives golden ticket (joke book).
- Parents relieved porn wasn't real because dicks can't get that big.
- High school bully apologized; hooked up with ex, condom broke, now uses it as lucky charm.
- Tony calls Brett's mom live on Kill Tony to ask about her job; she's an executive assistant/risk manager.
- Brett receives impromptu offer to open Thursday secret show.
Set: Monford tells an extended joke about his fleshlight in the microwave and his dad also using it, describing it as a bonding experience holding it for his father during use.
Interview: Monford is a door guy at Vulcan Gas Company, been doing comedy 3 years (mostly DC/Virginia), entered many internet sweepstakes, won a ketchup/mustard helmet and Jumanji digital downloads.
- Fleshlight in microwave; dad uses it too; they eventually hold it together.
- Monford reveals he's entered thousands of sweepstakes and only won two minor items.
- Discussion of sweepstakes helmet purchase and Jumanji digital download prize.
- Tony offers Monford the Thursday secret show slot after strong return.
Set: Kyle opens with dark family background (military killers, street criminals), compares people to expired food needing disposal, jokes about lucky 100-year Scotch, uses food expiration as metaphor.
Interview: Kyle is 27, doing comedy since 2020, DoorDash driver, from I-75 corridor (originally Toledo, Ohio), sleeping in Nissan Versa, in Austin 3 weeks, recently quit job, living broke eating peanut butter.
- Family tree: military killers and street criminals; people treated like expired food.
- If you're older than milk in fridge, you gotta go; also old Scotch exception.
- Kyle reveals he's been homeless, sleeping in his Nissan Versa for 3 weeks in Austin.
- Kyle describes uncle who died building a Remington shotgun, kept in his car.
- Kyle discusses survival diet of split foot-long sub and peanut butter with crackers.
- David Lucas would make asshole joke; John Deez performs dog whistle sound.
Amani Asami
Set: Amani's Kill Tony debut and first stand-up ever. Jokes about gender pronouns (Michael Jackson/hee hee), dad forcibly farting on face, auntie's bisexuality, and being attracted to Bigfoot.
Interview: Amani from Atlanta with boyfriend Nicholas, just visited Austin, musician (pop/jazz/rap), creates TikTok content (@imanixnick, ~13k followers), performs song, first stand-up and Kill Tony appearance.
- Gender identifies as Michael Jackson; pronouns are hee hee.
- Dad forcibly farted on face; auntie is bisexual; was attracted to Bigfoot.
- Bigfoot is hairy, strong, refuses to shave like women; not crazy to believe in him.
- Amani performs original R&B song with live band accompaniment.
- Tony compares Amani's musical charisma to Erykah Badu.
- Both Amani and her boyfriend Nicholas perform; they met 5 years ago, share birthday this Saturday.
Set: William's quick-hit joke style mixes setup with hidden punchlines: Supreme Court reference, Ellen DeGeneres dead girlfriend Anne Heche car crash, ghost voting Biden 4x, Jeffrey Epstein Prince Andrew.
Interview: William discusses his comedic strategy of hiding real jokes after setup jokes. Recently in Miami with Doug Stanhope and Trussell. Red Band shares concern about William's mom's health (2 months to live).
- Supreme court vs Supreme's court (band); baby love callback.
- Ellen DeGeneres girlfriend Anne Hesch died in car crash; Ellen taking it hard.
- Ghost discovers he voted for Biden 4 times; that means assassins coming.
- Epstein calling Prince Andrew from prison about non-existent minors.
- William discusses his comedic strategy of hiding jokes inside bad setups.
- William jokes about 'strangling' Venezuelan soccer players in Miami after opening for Stanhope.
- Red Band reveals William's mom has 2 months to live; William apologizes for joking about her.
- William winked at Joe Rogan during set, then at audience multiple times.