KILL TONY Wiki

Kill Tony #505 — Tim Dillon

📅 April 19, 2021 📍 Austin, TX Antones 🎤 11 comedians ⭐ 1 regular

Guests: Tim Dillon

Open on YouTube ↗

Lineup

1

Andrew Scardino

Set: First-time comedian mixing edgy relationship humor with observational jokes about HEB grocery store and awkward moments in hot yoga class.

Interview: First-time performer, 28 years old, moved to Austin to play music, plays harmonica and guitar, grew up in Georgia with pet raccoons, shot one at age 13.

Bits:
  • Girl asks to be treated like slave, he dresses as Egyptian pharaoh
  • Saw legless people in wheelchairs at HEB, made Tetris connection
  • Found himself naked in hot yoga class thinking it was sauna
Moments:
  • Played harmonica solo with the band, better received than his jokes
2

Mitch Brown

Set: Military veteran (Navy canine handler) doing a 40-second set blaming women through Adam and Eve story, quickly pivoted to autoerotic asphyxiation joke.

Interview: Navy veteran with 10.5 years as canine handler, dog died of bloat after he left command, recently rewrote Hamlet, attempted Shakespeare recitation.

Bits:
  • Blames evolution not God for men's sexual issues and autoerotic deaths
Moments:
  • Dog died from stomach bloat, deeply depressing moment on show
  • Attempted to recite Hamlet lines but forgot them completely
3

Pudge Fernandez

Set: Full minute set about being half-Latino, dating issues in expensive NYC, diverse cab services in Queens, and marriage infidelity kept together by high rent.

Interview: From Queens/Long Island, visiting for 3-4 weeks scouting comedy locations, wife not supportive, grown children, 26 years of marriage with ongoing infidelity, called wife live on air.

Bits:
  • Only half-Latino, Colombian mom, missing father since age 9
  • NYC rent so high can't afford divorce, constant arguments
  • Queens most diverse borough with separate cab services by race
Moments:
  • Called wife live on show asking if she was cheating, she answered and confirmed
4

Phil Lombardo

Set: New to Austin, attempted Carlos Mencia impression bomb, insulted Brian Redband, self-described entertainer since age 12 but primarily makes people uncomfortable.

Interview: Moved to NYC in October, previously an actor and magician, now concierge, Ron White brought him to show, attempted poems and described himself as untalented.

Bits:
  • Carlos Mencia impression with no punchline just offensive sounds
Moments:
  • Poem was incomprehensible and worse than his already-failed set
  • Revealed he has rapist energy, admitted to DUI with weed, cocaine use
  • Role-played hitting on woman, kept being creepy, told to stop trying to be funny
5

Simon Nash

Set: Seven-year veteran with strong tight joke structure about appearance, graphic design, vegan humor, and philosophical murder vs rape comparison.

Interview: Orlando transplant of 11 days, B2B sales for T-Mobile, best friend is TikTok comedian Heather Shaw who is Tim Dillon fan, biracial with deceased Black father.

Bits:
  • Looks like Cosmo Kramer, Steph Curry of graphic design, vegan with rabbit's foot
  • Can joke about murder but not rape because no murder survivors exist
Moments:
  • Booked on Vulcan show for Wednesday feature immediately after set
6

David Lucas

Regular

Set: Regular performing strong topical minute about cryptocurrency distrust, Southern racism vs YouTube comments, and black experience online.

Interview: Best regular on show, discussed road eating habits, metabolism, roasted about period jokes, compared body to R2D2, swimming and power-lifting, discussed Young Dolph performance.

Bits:
  • Cryptocurrency scam explanation using hood and iCloud references
  • YouTube comments are most racist place, even under cheesecake videos
Moments:
  • Extended roasting session with Tony about body shape, periods, face structure
7

Jesse Burlingame

Set: Four-year veteran from Worcester, MA, material about sister's tattoos, lower back 'live and learn' tattoo, and boyfriend ignorance about existential meaning.

Interview: Moved to Texas 3 weeks ago from Worcester, performed at Gathering of the Juggalos, opened for Trailer Park Boys actor, admitted to hour-long pornography sessions and porn addiction 12-step meetings.

Bits:
  • Sister covered in 40 stars tattoos representing disposable income and boredom
  • Sister's 'live and learn' tattoo worse than 'no regrets' existentially
Moments:
  • Confessed to watching rape content on dark web thinking it was consensual
  • Detailed hour-long daily pornography sessions with 7 tabs open
8

Gareth Fisk

Set: Two-year comedian with chaotic profanity-heavy set about Christmas PlayStation memory and realizing mother lied about Santa.

Interview: From Austin originally, does Curb Your Enthusiasm-style improvisation, works in solar consulting, recently out of 7-year relationship, unfocused and scattered in interview.

Bits:
  • Christmas PlayStation memory and profanity-laden childhood recollection
Moments:
  • Increasingly incoherent interview, audience and Tony growing concerned
  • Story about uncle buying half-million dollar horse without insurance, died
9

Leanna Patch

Set: Strong female set about dating refrigerators (tall cold men), grammar quiz on bird cloaca, philosophical 'uni-hole' observation.

Interview: From New Orleans, copywriter, Mardi Gras dance team member, animal shelter volunteer, visiting Austin, broke up with boyfriend last year on her birthday, exploring moving options.

Bits:
  • Dating tall cold men like refrigerators wanting nothing inside
  • Memory foam mattress should be selective about traumatic bed memories
  • Birds have cloaca combining pee, vagina, and egg hole as 'uni-hole'
Moments:
  • Red Band made inappropriate comments about her, put on probation by Tony
  • Danced Mardi Gras moves on stage with band
10

Andrew Sax

11

Michael Lehrer

Set: Regular with ALS diagnosis delivering strong minute about disability, medication mixing, wordplay on ladyboy humor.

Interview: Long-time regular, Tony bullies him before shows but it improves performance, Tony trimmed his nose hairs this week, getting back together with nurse girlfriend Colette who's moving to Austin.

Bits:
  • Disability medication and apple sauce mixing, punchline about eating pigs and snorti
Moments:
  • Tony trimmed his nose hairs with manscape trimmer, nose hair volume shocking
  • Announced girlfriend Colette moving to Austin, serious relationship development