Kill Tony #464
Lineup
Set: Michael performs jokes about Chinese duck-making pride and the coronavirus, complimenting the craftsmanship of Chinese duck makers and their dedication to their work.
Interview: Tony and Michael discuss his origins, his family's comedic lineage including Smith and Dale vaudeville performers, and Michael shares old family photos from the entertainment world.
- Chinese duck makers take more pride in work than anyone, screaming 'crispier' to gods.
- China created both coronavirus and delicious duck—six of one, half dozen ducks.
- Michael performs entire SNL audition impression of MMA fighter Aspen Ladd as female character, complete with accent and aggressive post-fight interview.
- Jeremiah DMs revealed he would help Michael borrow a wig, but Michael claims he didn't ask. After confrontation, Jeremiah agrees to lend wig with fake pox.
Set: Kyler performs about being paralyzed, his last words to his dad before the accident ('are you still holding the ladder'), coronavirus worries, and people with COVID being 'stingy' with the virus.
Interview: Tony discusses Kyler's paralysis from a neck break, his ability to draw despite limited hand function, and his drawing of Ryan J. Belt who has drawn over 300 episodes of the show.
- Last words to dad before paralysis: 'are you still holding the ladder?'
- People with coronavirus are stingy, hoarding it all like 'pass the duchy'.
- Kyler presents a drawing he made of Ryan J. Belt, first time anyone has drawn Ryan on the show despite him drawing 300+ episodes.
- Kyler reveals he makes up alternate origin stories for paralysis, favorite being sexual encounter with bodybuilder girlfriend.
Set: Blue Ball discusses quarantine, choosing between Netflix shows and podcasts while masturbating, breaking personal masturbation records, and seeing Bobby Lee's butthole at comedy store benefit performance.
Interview: Tony and panel discuss her sexual nature on stage, her use of imagination vs. visual aids, her five-year drought in relationships, and her recent isolation during quarantine.
- During quarantine broke masturbation records, thought she broke herself until saw Bobby Lee.
- No sex in five years because men hear her jokes and think she's too crazy to date.
- Blue Ball reveals five-year sexual drought and that eharmony matches dried up due to incompatibility in her area.
- Tony suggests Tinder, Blue Ball refuses, leading to discussion of her isolation and recent video work.
Set: David performs about white women protesting Black Lives Matter, compares 'Karen' to racial slurs, and tells story about seeing thick white girl at protest and switching to 'all lives matter.'
Interview: Extended roast battle with Tony covering e-bikes, red band's motorized bike posts, David's beach trips, various roasts about Tony's appearance and David's weight, Japanese language teaching.
- White women comparing 'Karen' to n-word—asks if they got sprayed with fire hose.
- Saw thick white girl at BLM protest, immediately started chanting 'all lives matter'.
- David roasts Tony's appearance multiple times, Tony roasts David back in extended exchange covering e-bikes, cars, appearance, and sexuality.
- David and Tony teach Japanese phrases; David does Japanese accent impressions despite racial sensitivity discussion.
Set: CC performs about being arrested for sleeping masturbation, sleepwalking masturbation involuntarily, falling asleep in church, community service, and Big Sister Little Sister program implications.
Interview: Tony discusses CC's first time performing, her jiu jitsu training at Tenth Planet where she beat a black belt with a go-go plata, her motorcycle riding, and script writing during quarantine.
- Arrested for masturbating in sleep; uncontrollable sleepwalking masturbation in dreams.
- Fell asleep in church with eyes open, looked worse than it was.
- CC is so drunk she sits down during interview; first-time performer doing her first ever stand-up set.
- CC reveals she beat a black belt at jiu jitsu using go-go plata move, Snorg trains at Tenth Planet gym.
- Tony and CC perform Forrest Gump scene where she plays Jenny with AIDS/hepatitis, Spencer plays Forrest.
Set: Mitch performs about having sex while girl's blind dog watches in room, doesn't think that's weird category on pornhub, discusses porn step-family categories and contrasts with reality.
Interview: Mitch discusses his 1998 Jeep TJ breaking down from overheating, racing an 11-year-old at beach, his redneck astrology TikTok, and his experiences at Tenth Planet jiu jitsu with Funk Chow.
- Had sex while girl's blind dog watched; told her to put dog elsewhere but she refused.
- Porn categories exist for step-relations but not for sex while family pet watches—that's weird.
- Mitch reveals Jeep broke down from overheating, needs thermostat or water pump, working on it tomorrow.
- Extended discussion of Jeep TJ model history, Trader Joe's jacket joke, peanut butter marshmallow jelly sandwich debate.
- Mitch teaches Chinese phrase 'wo chi fan' (I miss you), shares Japanese jiu jitsu experience from living in Japan three years.
Set: William performs about having hepatitis C, Victoria's Secret founder giving billion to Epstein, confusing pizza chains, and repeating jokes from previous night's set that killed.
Interview: William discusses being on quadruple probation, why he's angry (his dog died from clorox-poisoned steak), his yellow eyes from hepatitis, strep throat, and his belly button resembling the Death Star.
- Called lights out because I have hepatitis C.
- Papa John's claiming extra-large is actually just large with same toppings—charity scam.
- William was on quadruple Kill Tony probation from management, cast, and crew for previous episode's behavior.
- William reveals his dog Scooby-Doo died two weeks ago from accidentally injected clorox-bleach t-bone steak he fed it.
- Extended discussion of William's belly button resembling the Death Star and Sarlacc Pit from Star Wars.
- William demonstrates making elephant noise, gets called out for repeating set from previous week.
Interview: Jeremiah mentioned for sending screenshot DMs about wig lending to Michael Lair. Referenced for his wig collection and character organization system.
- Jeremiah DMs revealed showing he offered to help Michael with wig but Michael claims he didn't ask. Later agrees to lend with pox.
Interview: Joel mentioned at end as band member. Has podcast 'Mostly Sorry' with David Deary, both called American treasures.
Interview: Chroma Chris mentioned at end of episode as band member with music 'The Baby Boys' on Spotify.
- Chroma Chris was continuously trying to reach and talk, freak out happening during episode performances.
Interview: Jetski mentioned at end as band member (full name with four J's: Jetski Jesse Johnson).