Kill Tony #580 — Deric Poston, Ehsan Ahmad
Guests: Deric Poston · Ehsan Ahmad
Lineup
Set: Hans discusses driving to Oklahoma City, billboards as 'white trash smoke signals,' and his love of white people, making commentary on Asian people eventually being considered white like Italians were 50 years ago.
Interview: Hans discusses his new Lululemon hoodie ($120), spending on podcast lights, refunding Vegas tickets to open for Tony, buying a gun, and later gets his first tattoo (a Kill Tony knife) from Jason Messner during the episode.
- Oklahoma billboards compared to Facebook comments, racist commentary in billboard form.
- Asian people will eventually be considered white like Italians, decades away from acceptance.
- Hans reveals he bought a gun while wearing Lululemon hoodie, says it was to protect his girlfriend.
- Hans gets his first-ever tattoo (Kill Tony knife on upper chest) live on stage from Jason Messner, a major Kill Tony historical moment.
Set: Melissa discusses working out and replacing the word 'reps' with 'rapes' as a joke about self-coercion at the gym, talks about aging and body changes, and makes jokes about her vagina changing over time.
Interview: Melissa discusses being a former software developer who was the 'face of diversity,' her relationship of six years, her boyfriend's testosterone treatment, and Tony's testosterone results showing he's a lesbian.
- Calling pull-ups 'rapes' because she doesn't want to do them, yelling at herself.
- Wondering what her vagina will look like as it ages, plans daily photos until 80.
- Melissa nearly gets trapped in the sound effect bell during her rape jokes, shows genuine confusion about the time limit.
- Tony books her on the secret show Thursday night immediately after her set, transitioning from bucket pull to confirmed show.
Set: Mike performs about microdosing Viagra to stay 'thick throughout the day,' accidentally taking a whole Viagra and wearing basketball shorts to a funeral.
Interview: Mike is from Akron, Ohio, moved to Austin 4 years ago, works in tech/partnerships, married with no kids (calls them 'gross'), and performs a George Michael song with the band after being pressed about Austin's music culture.
- Microdosing Viagra to stay erect, accidentally took full dose at funeral in basketball shorts.
- Mike performs an impromptu song with the Kill Tony band, singing what sounds like George Michael while sitting on a barstool.
- Tony relentlessly makes jokes about Mike being gay throughout the interview based on his vague answers about 'enjoying the fruits of Austin.'
Jason Mesnah
Set: David discusses cheating on a tarot card reader to prove cards don't work, jokes about white women in HOKA shoes and walking dogs (Pitbulls) as indicators they'll 'rescue' him, avoiding Tinder by street observation.
Interview: David and Tony exchange roasts about each other, their clothing, their grandparents' racial backgrounds, and David makes jokes about Tony's body, sexuality, and past. Ends with discussion of David's touring success.
- Cheated on tarot reader to show the cards don't work, mocks her card reading.
- White women in HOKA shoes are attractive; women who rescue dogs will rescue him too.
- Red Band stands up from his seat in applause, an extremely rare event that Tony comments on as a sign of David's quality.
- David and Tony engage in extended roasting back-and-forth, with Deric and Ehsan participating, showing David's expert roasting abilities.
Set: Bobby discusses being invited to Joel Osteen's spaghetti dinner/cockfighting tournament, buying his baby mama Jordans so she can jump to conclusions, and mentions People Magazine article about his solar-powered abortion clinic running on 'conservative energy.'
Interview: Bobby moved to Austin from Dallas the Monday after Thanksgiving, lives alone and has had many jobs, revealed he had a mass in his lungs the size of a softball that shrunk from antibiotics, discusses vaccination and mask-related health concerns.
- Invited to Joel Osteen spaghetti dinner slash cockfighting tournament, sign of moving up socially.
- Solar-powered abortion clinic runs on conservative energy, absurdist political humor.
- Bobby reveals he had a lung mass the size of a softball that shrunk due to antibiotics; Tony presses on whether it was mask-related, nearly leading Bobby into political statement.
- Tony books Bobby on the secret show Thursday, giving him a joke book as a prize.
Set: Jordan discusses women hyping up their bodies causing him hemorrhoid concerns, loves his parents who taught him to work hard, recently bought and is selling a house, made generalizations about Hispanic contractors based on accent.
Interview: Jordan is a redheaded Black man from Dallas (Black father, white mother who uses meth), project supervisor, performed for about 1.5 years, likes spoken word freestyle, recently renovated his shower with a speaker and Bluetooth.
- Women hyping up their bodies but he already has hemorrhoids, doesn't need more problems.
- Hispanic contractor with bad English knew how to do good work, hired him based on accent.
- Tony and panel heavily roast Jordan's unique appearance as redheaded Black man; Jordan handles it well with confidence.
- Jordan gives Tony custom merch (oversized shirt) featuring the guy who tackled Dave Chappelle; Tony jokes about wearing it as sleepwear.
Set: Cody discusses his Mexican-American girlfriend whose parents risked their lives immigrating, how her bringing home a white Louisiana boy is ironic, language barrier with her Spanish-only parents, and misunderstanding of white privilege thinking it meant his uncle selling coke to the sheriff.
Interview: Cody did stand-up for 1 year in Denver after moving to help his mom who had breast cancer (now recovered), lives on a couch in Austin until March, plays video games and used to juggle, did MMA for 3 years and baseball for 14.
- His white Louisiana self brought home to Mexican-American girlfriend's immigrant parents creates historical irony.
- Thought white privilege meant his uncle selling coke to the sheriff, didn't understand real meaning.
- Cody reveals his mother had breast cancer; Red Band makes inappropriate joke that Tony refuses to acknowledge or escalate.
- Cody juggles oranges/limes live on stage after Tony requests it, displaying genuine juggling skill from high school.
- Tony gives Cody a custom Mario Brothers Kill Tony leather-bound joke book from Bones Eye (Adrian Cabazos).
Set: William discusses starting a bottled water company sourcing from Camp Lejeune, Marjorie Taylor Greene's divorce and children, comments about the movie Bros and comparing it to Westboro Baptist Church.
Interview: William discusses his cameo business where he breaks up with people/yells at them (refuses to do Jewish people), listens to Kanye West, does sad memorial cameos, and plays sound effect guessing games with Tony using the soundboard.
- Started bottled water company sourcing from Camp Lejeune, referencing contamination scandal.
- Movie Bros so bad it made him join Westboro Baptist Church, reversing support for gay rights.
- Tony and William play an extended sound effect guessing game using the soundboard, discovering it for the first time on air with various animal and environmental sounds.
- William reveals he won't do cameos for Jewish people, explaining he's been 'burned too many times,' a controversial statement.