Kill Tony #529 — William Montgomery
Guests: William Montgomery
Lineup
Set: Hans opened with observations about being a minority and racism, made jokes about white pride, the Middle East, and hating Jews. He maintained absurdist humor throughout.
Interview: Tony and panel discussed Hans's pea coat, his on-again off-again relationship with Paige, and his recent gaming wins. William expressed concern about Hans's atheist jokes and invited him to church.
- I don't see race, only smell it—especially in Ubers
- White pride should involve castles and yodeling, not Nazis
- William expressed genuine concern about Hans's atheist jokes and invited him to church
- Hans revealed he beat his friends at Catan and won $20
Set: Stephen wore a bulletproof vest and made jokes about drunk skunks, light beer, and being DEA. The set was somewhat disorganized and drew criticism from the panel.
Interview: Stephen explained his bulletproof vest was from playing Warzone video games. Tony criticized his tick-tock presence and questioned his preparation for the show.
- Drunk skunks smell like weed, not like the saying implies
- Tony expressed strong disdain for mentioning tick-tock, calling it 'the show's n word'
- Tony made a dark joke about Stephen killing himself for tick-tock views
Set: Braden's first-ever stand-up set included dark jokes about a baby dying from diaper rash, Planned Parenthood, and genealogy companies for inbreds. He forgot material and seemed nervous.
Interview: Tony praised Braden's premise but criticized the execution. They discussed his insurance job, fiancée Hannah in occupational therapy, his kegerator, and a dorm shower birth story.
- Baby cremation is ironic because baby powder could have saved it
- Genealogy company '47' for people with extra chromosomes targeting those who won't reach 11
- Braden revealed he forgot most of his set due to nervousness
- William Montgomery unexpectedly praised Braden's set, causing Tony to joke that William was paid
Strategy
Set: Strategy discussed loyalty in relationships and threesomes, using repetition of 'loyalty' that became rap-like. First-time stand-up from a DJ with 12 years in the industry.
Interview: Strategy revealed he's a nightclub DJ from Houston via Chicago, offered Hans Kim money for a podcast, discussed his tattooed breasts, and talked about threesomes and double blow jobs.
- Loyalty is waking up girlfriend to intrude on her being blown by stranger
- Strategy had tattoo of real woman's breasts on his arm with special hidden photo trick
- Panel discussed double blow job definitions extensively
Tre Pack
Set: Tre Pack did four years of consistent stand-up, opening with girl scout cookie season and aggressive sales tactics toward kids. Strong material about manipulative marketing.
Interview: Tre discussed his weight loss challenge (down 16 pounds in one week from quitting Mountain Dew), his bouncer background, his broken penis story from throwing a guy out, and his plan to work door at Rogan's club.
- Girl Scout troop mom told kid 'big spender' when Tre approached
- Girl Scouts taught aggressive sales tactics calling them 'wolves' and 'sharks'
- Tre revealed he broke a guy's penis by throwing him on his chest during ejection
- William requested Tre play-act a bar ejection scenario; Tre struggled with improvisation
Set: Arash did 58 seconds about moving to the US from Iran in 2001, bad timing with 9/11 bullying, Colin Powell, and the show ending abruptly. First time in Austin after 5 years in Salt Lake City.
Interview: Arash discussed being Iranian-American, his parents being chemists, living in Turkey and Australia, his job as a programmer in video games, his Iranian girlfriend who's a dentist, and being uncomfortable with dancing.
- Moved to US April 2001, few months later realized childhood would be rough
- Arash expressed regret saying his name on stage given political timing
- Tony offered Arash a secret show gig after his set
Set: Gabe Kaye, a pastor's kid, did two years of stand-up with material about church girls, hand jobs in youth rooms, and sex with salvation urgency. Moved from San Jose to Austin.
Interview: Gabe discussed his wife who's an industrial engineer at Google, his polyamorous explorations with 3Fun app, full-time stand-up without income, getting COVID, and working in Pflugerville gigs.
- Rushed paranoid guilt-ridden hand job in youth room back of Wednesday night
- Bad girls became personal projects, nastier acts corresponded with soul danger
- Tony made multiple jokes comparing Gabe to a fat Jesus and donut holes
- Gabe revealed he and wife are exploring polyamory with other couples via 3Fun
Mike Ivy
Set: Mike did 14 years of stand-up, opening about being a weird Black guy who likes Wu-Tang and anime. He did an extended Game of Thrones quote that got him kicked out of HEB.
Interview: Mike moved to Austin 3 weeks ago, was a Jehovah's Witness as a kid, classically trained chef specializing in Chinese fried rice, homeless as a child, drives a salvage Scion, and had an accomplished girlfriend with a doctorate on slow lorises.
- Extended Game of Thrones 'Winterfell' quote recitation causes HEB ejection
- Mike mentioned his ex-girlfriend was world's premier authority on slow lorises
- Panel joked about Mike's neck cracking 40 times a day from cooking
Set: Lauren returned after bombing in LA, doing redemption set with jokes about Abbott's border wall, Disney remakes with diverse casting, and making a Little Mermaid drowning joke.
Interview: Lauren disclosed she drives a Corvette from San Diego to LA in 45 minutes, previously lived in Mexico doing eco-tourism cleanup work, was a drunken motorcyclist hit-and-run victim, and is dating Ryan Joseph (another comedian).
- Governor Abbott's border vehicles don't stop immigrants who can hotwire cars
- Cinderella remake with Mexican maid: 'glass cleaner' instead of slipper
- Lauren made controversial joke about Little Mermaid with Black actress drowning
- William revealed he knew about Lauren dating Ryan Joseph and questioned her
Swiggy
Set: Swiggy, on two hits of LSD at 3pm, did a set about getting a massage thinking the masseuse was a sex-trafficked victim, tried to 'save' her but finished anyway.
Interview: Swiggy is 33, from Philadelphia, works at Terry Black's barbecue, recently moved to Austin in May, does stand-up for the first time on this show, has a show coming at Green Jay tomorrow, last name is Pearl Swig (Jewish).
- Thought massage therapist was sex-trafficked, tried to save her mid-sex
- Swiggy smoked LSD vape pen on stage with William taking a hit
- Swiggy discussed 48-year-old woman from Terry Black's, relationships, and roommate dynamics
Set: David Lucas opened with R. Kelly incarceration material, defending him for peeing on people and comparing it to women's 'squirting'. Made controversial cancellation commentary.
Interview: David discussed recent Denver and Rogan shows, upcoming gigs including Thursday secret show, his fashion choices, toe comment, and reconnected with William Montgomery about their 'Brothers in Cursive' podcast.
- R. Kelly shouldn't be canceled for peeing when women do 'squirt'
- Would sacrifice mother for remix to Ignition, won't cancel R. Kelly
- Tony and panel roasted David's colorful outfit extensively
- William and David discussed their 'Brothers in Cursive' podcast and need for co-headlining tour