KILL TONY Wiki

Kill Tony #611 — Brian Holtzman, Ian Edwards

📅 May 8, 2023 📍 Austin, TX Comedy Mothership 🎤 12 comedians ⭐ 3 regulars

Guests: Brian Holtzman · Ian Edwards

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Lineup

1

Hans Kim

Regular

Set: Material about a serial killer loose in Austin targeting men, and starting a booze cruise on Lady Bird Lake. Consistent laughs throughout.

Interview: Hans discussed selling out four shows in Seattle, his physical appearance, and being heavily dosed on marijuana from a club owner, resulting in vomiting and missing a flight.

Bits:
  • Serial killer targeting men is scary because we're men and he could be on Netflix in three years.
  • Started a booze cruise on Lady Bird Lake to save drowning victims but has saved negative three lives.
Moments:
  • Hans Kim came to the show and mentioned being heavily dosed on marijuana at 150mg, vomited in his hotel room, missed a flight but bought another ticket.
2

DK

Set: Material about being 24 and born in 1998, the last year Straight Baby was produced. Contrasts autism statistics between San Bernardino and Austin, using his observation about autism rates to make commentary about Austin bar crowds.

Interview: DK revealed he's a neurosurgeon but later admitted to working at the Hilton downtown. Disclosed he drank four shots of Four Loco and Fireball before getting on stage. Discussed being from San Bernardino and recently moving back to Austin.

Bits:
  • One out of five boys in US has autism; Austin bar has way more than one out of five.
Moments:
  • DK passed out or left the stage after receiving a gift from Brian Holtzman.
3

Arthur Martirosyan

Set: Arthur discussed comparing a girl to Margot Robbie and getting rejected. He introduced himself as Armenian and made a joke about the Armenian genocide, which drew harsh criticism from the panel.

Interview: Arthur revealed he started stand-up at 13, is now 24, used to do comedy before the pandemic, and hasn't performed since. He's trying to be a musician and was a lifeguard. D Madness encouraged him to perform guitar live on stage.

Bits:
  • Comparing girl to Margot Robbie but saying she looked like her from Wall Street version failed.
  • Armenian people joke about the genocide in Turkey.
Moments:
  • D Madness invited Arthur to play guitar live on stage; he performed an instrumental and sang, then was told to stick with guitar instead of comedy.
4

Jared Nathan

Set: Jared told a story with significant stuttering about a woman with a DUI who had him blow into an interlock device. The set was hard to follow due to heavy stuttering throughout.

Interview: Jared discussed his stutter and his life in Austin. Tony and the panel teased him about his speech impediment. He mentioned eating good food in Austin and plans for the week.

Bits:
  • Woman with DUI had him blow into interlock device; she told him to open eyes expecting something awesome.
Moments:
  • Golden ticket winner who performs regularly and is one of the best golden ticket winners in show history.
  • Panel commented that despite his stutter, Jared had the best set of the night so far compared to earlier performers.
5

Cooper Patterson

Set: Cooper discussed being born with hearing loss, wearing Cochlear implants with Bluetooth capability, and using the excuse that his hearing aid battery died to escape conversations. He also commented on hearing loss being the best disability compared to blindness.

Interview: Cooper revealed he's been doing stand-up for five years, recently moved to Dallas for a camera operator job. The panel teased him about his hearing aids and disability, with Brian Holtzman and others making jokes about his appearance and family situation.

Bits:
  • Cochlear implants with Bluetooth let him listen to music without looking like a douchebag with AirPods.
  • Can fake dying hearing aid battery to escape conversations.
Moments:
  • Panel made extensive disability jokes about Cooper and other performers, with Brian Holtzman emphasizing diversity checklist.
6

Nick Devlin

Set: Nick performed dark comedy about his sexist father, homophobic tendencies, and made a joke about the word homophobic sounding like it should be positive. He discussed fear of gay people and made references to Freddie Mercury.

Interview: Nick has been doing stand-up for one year, recently moved to Massachusetts. He works in administrative genetics and has done over 5000 miles of wilderness backpacking. The panel suspected he might be a serial killer based on his demeanor and comments about wanting to murder his coworker.

Bits:
  • Dad called to say he's not sexist while being sexist, plus electric fence joke about mom.
  • Homophobic is a misleading word; should mean genuinely afraid of gay people, like Freddie Mercury in closet.
Moments:
  • Panel joked that Nick is a serial killer, especially after discussing wanting to murder his coworker and his wilderness backpacking.
7

David Lucas

Regular

Set: David Lucas performed explicit material about C-sections, vaginas, birth control arm implants, and made dark jokes comparing Ian Edwards to various things. His set was sexually explicit and graphic throughout.

Interview: David discussed his tour, his fishing show, and food. He exchanged roasts with Tony and Ian, with the panel teasing him about his weight and appearance. David mentioned he has three kids from different baby mamas and doesn't use condoms.

Bits:
  • Gay guys and trans men born from C-sections because first interaction is eating vagina.
  • Birth control in arm is weird and too far from genitals, like putting condom on head.
Moments:
  • Regular performer who does roasting segments with Tony and panel guests. Known for extended roasts and crowd interaction.
8

Cody Swindell

Set: Cody discussed growing up poor enough to be jealous but not completely poor. He told a story about a friend bragging about being pushed down stairs by his dad because the family had two floors. True and well-written material.

Interview: Cody did Kill Tony in 2019 in Plano before returning to comedy after the pandemic. He's been performing for over two years. His single mother raised him; his father passed away from cancer (had it six times). His first car was a 1998 Mustang that was totaled before he got it.

Bits:
  • Family wasn't poor enough to be poor, just poor enough to be jealous of rich friends.
  • Friend bragging about being pushed down stairs because family has two floors (stairs to brag about).
Moments:
  • Cody revealed his father recently passed away from cancer (six occurrences). Tony made dark jokes about the multiple cancer diagnoses.
9

Doc Faire

Set: Doc Faire discussed being half Mexican and half hillbilly, living in Germany for 11 years, and being married to a German ex-wife who was efficient like WWII Germany. He's now pursuing comedy and made self-deprecating jokes about potential future homelessness.

Interview: Doc was in the Army for 23 years and contracted as a personal security medic in Kabul for 8 years. He's been doing stand-up for 2-3 months, started in San Antonio, and is unemployed. He discussed witnessing combat injuries and his three marriages including a Latina third wife who cheated on him via Craigslist.

Bits:
  • Half Mexican, half hillbilly family reunions are dating buffets with plenty of options and food.
  • German ex-wife was like WWII history lesson; didn't know if she'd order Happy Meal or genocide.
Moments:
  • Doc discussed discovering his third wife was posting on Craigslist personals and having gang bangs with reviews while he was in Afghanistan.
10

Enrique Chacon

Set: Enrique discussed being bullied for being 5'2" and called baby empanada. He joined the football team with other chubby Latino kids and later was called anteater. He told a story about a girl who compared his foreskin to E.T. in a basket.

Interview: Enrique is 26 and received a golden ticket 5 years ago at age 21 on his first comedy attempt. He recently got a promotion at Bucky's (gas station) to trainer making $24/hour. He made his Hulu debut on 'Taste the Nation' hosting and doing a set (set was cut).

Bits:
  • Nicknamed baby empanada for being 5'2"; at least he was delicious.
  • Girl said his uncircumcised foreskin looked like E.T. in basket with blanket; told him 'Enrique phone home.'
Moments:
  • Golden ticket winner who has become a regular and successful performer. Now training at Bucky's and appearing on major streaming platforms.
11

Justin Bradford

Set: Justin joked about his grandparents not having a colored TV until recently, misunderstanding the colored TV section. He made jokes about transgender people in medieval times and King Edward getting canceled for talking about his pants too much.

Interview: Justin does film and photo production. This is his second time doing stand-up, first time in English. He previously did stand-up in Swahili in Africa. He's from Seattle, was a Mormon missionary in Canada, plays didgeridoo, and recently dumped his boring girlfriend.

Bits:
  • Grandparents thought colored TV section was only for Black people; took three years to buy one.
  • Transgender in medieval times asking for pronouns respect would get head cut off in town square.
Moments:
  • Justin revealed he previously performed stand-up in Swahili in Africa, making this his second time performing but first in English.
12

William Montgomery

Regular

Set: William opened with a joke about Princess Diana not aging much since King Charles' coronation. He discussed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. surging in polls and made jokes about a Sleepless in Seattle remake and Ted Lasso as a public service announcement.

Interview: William discussed his new dog 'Gator' which he had to return to a Syrian breeder family because he overfed it with pizza, pasta, polenta, and shellfish, causing bloating. He mentioned the dog loved polenta and he sent it back to Syria in a box with holes.

Bits:
  • Princess Diana hasn't aged much since King Charles' coronation.
  • New Sleepless in Seattle sequel with Tom Hanks transitioned as female, called 'Fucked in Seattle.'
Moments:
  • Regular who holds record for most appearances and new minutes on the show. Discussed returning his dog due to overfeeding it.