Kill Tony #441 — David Lucas
Guests: David Lucas
Lineup
Set: Observational humor about reading preferences, Catholic Lent sacrifice, and a friend named Mandeep with predictable punchline setup.
Interview: Recent comedy starter (September), Catholic, works Uber, previously worked in politics for Congressman Darrell Issa, recently dumped by Protestant girlfriend.
- Prefers erotic nonfiction to fiction because needs proof it happens.
- Giving up paying back loans for Lent as personal sacrifice.
- Named Indian friend Mandeep leads predictable conversation punchline.
Set: Pedophile humor comparing grandmothers' behavior to registered sex offenders unable to attend school dropoffs.
Interview: First-time performer, 46 years old, from San Diego (University City), married 8 years, has two kids (7 and 4), musician in multiple bands, does jiu-jitsu.
- Grandmothers' inappropriate comments about children versus sex offender handcuffing double standard.
- Registered sex offender dating and parenting child, can't approach school boundaries.
- Dave performs live guitar song about being in a band.
Set: Depression symptoms measured by pubic hair growth length, from full 'Bob Ross' to closely shaved 'why won't you love me' styles.
Interview: Started stand-up at Kill Tony in September, has since done multiple shows, earned $20 for first paid gig, works as consulting utility forester (arborist), broke arm falling from tree as child.
- Depression levels indicated by pubic hair grooming: full fro vs. skin-close styles.
- Band makes multiple tree/wood pun callbacks during interview.
- Eli reveals he watches 'Edward Penis Hands' porn.
Set: Crude oral sex and eating pussy jokes with self-deprecating innuendo.
Interview: 14 months into comedy, 49 years old, works kitchen at Madhouse, degree in computer science, hasn't had sex since 1996, hasn't kissed girl in years.
- Goal to make audience laugh; asks about eating pussy technique.
- Girlfriend likes choking during sex; misconstrues it as literal choking.
- A woman from audience is brought on stage to kiss Aaron, breaking 25-year drought.
- Aaron juggles three Red Bull cans on stage.
Set: Rapid-fire one-liners about abortion stance, masturbation frequency, girlfriend choking, and racist restaurant anecdote.
Interview: Doing stand-up full-time for almost a year (sporadic since 2013), works as bellman at hotels, former Marine appearance, extensive gym routine, father was drug dealer who went to prison.
- Asked stance on abortion; said 'in the lobby waiting.'
- Girlfriend likes choking; hopes it's helping during sex.
- Mike confesses he fucked his couch for months while living with ex.
Set: Fat guy dating dynamics: girls use overweight boyfriends to discover new restaurants; warns against girls taking leftovers or using phone during meals.
Interview: Pescatarian who had great weekend in La Jolla, first time in San Diego (except recent club headlining), loves white women in Southern California, stayed in condo with Tony.
- Girls date fat guys to find new restaurants; take-out boxes are off-limits.
- Girlfriend can't use phone during meals; she pays for her own food.
- David references Tony wearing biker shorts, calls them mesh shorts.
- David cooked salmon for entire cast at condo.
Set: Disjointed set about FedEx business closing, comedy never going out of business, masturbating to teacher Instagram hashtags.
Interview: First-time performer, appears anxious and scattered, reluctant to discuss personal life, mentions father relationship unclear, lives in San Diego.
- FedEx going out of business but comedy will never die.
- Masturbates to Instagram hashtags of teachers with children.
Geiger
Set: 90s stoner discovers modern cannabis concentrates (dabs, kief); brother-in-law shows him keef, comedian reacts with terror about snorting it.
Interview: First-time performer, one-word name spelling confirmed (G-E-I-G-E-R), writer's guild member, works with spreadsheets daily, lives in Lakeside.
- 90s stoner confused by modern cannabis concentrates like dabs and kief.
Set: Real name Dusty Tunnel; only path to fame is stand-up or gay porn; dating story about girl who likes choking, responds with baby carrot joke.
Interview: Five years comedy experience in San Diego, moved to LA for girl, transferred back after cheating with janitor, now lives in converted ambulance van.
- Real name Dusty Tunnel limits fame options to stand-up or gay porn.
- Dating girl who likes choking; responds by tossing baby carrot in mouth.
- Dusty reveals he lives in converted ambulance van.
Set: Disabled comedian in wheelchair discussing coming during doctor visits, nurses needing new Crocs, frequent ejaculation in medical settings.
Interview: Regular Kill Tony guest, drives to show in specially equipped vehicle, purchases Tommy Hilfiger adaptive clothing with magnets, flips off crowd while receiving standing ovation.
- Comes during doctor visits; nurses need new Crocs.
- Michael drives his specially equipped vehicle to La Jolla from Los Angeles.
- Standing ovation; Michael flips off crowd while receiving applause.
Tim Hill
Set: Dated four-foot-six woman; crude sex jokes about tight vagina, Chinese finger traps, vaginosis; lives in van; dated from high school.
Interview: Returning Kill Tony performer (third La Jolla appearance), recent job loss and breakup, girlfriend left him for dental issues, lived in van with ex through December.
- Dated four-foot-six woman; expanded LGBTQ to include people with height differences.
- Sex with short girlfriend tight like Chinese finger trap, medical issue vaginosis.
- Tim dated 4'6" woman for six years; she left him for vegan restaurant owner.
Set: Doesn't like unsolicited dick pics; estimates dick size through conversation equation (5 inches base plus/minus inches based on personality); magic tricks reduce dick size.
Interview: Year-and-a-half into comedy, born and raised San Diego (originally Rhode Island), works selling weed vapes, boyfriend is door guy at Comedy Store (dating 1.5 years), does CrossFit.
- Doesn't like dick pics; creates mental equation to estimate dick size.
- Everyone starts with five inches, add/subtract based on conversation; magic = minus two inches.
- Allyson performs one-legged pistol squat on stage.