Kill Tony #595 — Tom Papa
Guests: Tom Papa
Lineup
Set: Skinny observational comedy about dating Black women, liberal politics, and curiosity about gay relationships. Tight five with strong callbacks on missionary positioning.
Interview: Hans discussed recent headlining in Las Vegas and Salt Lake City, a $380 strip club experience with a coworker named Eddie, and his communist political beliefs.
- When spooning a Black chick, can only cover one cheek at a time.
- Questions about bottom wearing condom and whether bottom stays hard during relationship.
- Tony and panel discuss Hans's recent threesome revelation and new strip club visit with coworker Eddie.
Set: High thoughts about men syncing up boners like women's periods, observations about gay relationships, and wordplay about 'don't you dare' vs 'do not you dare'.
Interview: Jaden bartends at Vulcan Gas Company, recently started playing bass for 6 months at 2-3 hours daily, and is working on a Sixth Street-themed comic book series.
- What if dudes synced up boners like women's periods but got hard instead.
- Wordplay: 'don't you dare' makes sense but 'do not you dare' doesn't.
- D-Madness pressures Jaden to play bass live; nervous performance with visible sweating.
- Jaden's blackout story: woke up at girl's house, went out four times night before.
Set: Military-themed comedy with disability callbacks. Jokes about special forces, Super Soaker, and 72 virgins. High energy with strategic pauses for impact.
Interview: Jared was spending time with military friends, got kicked out of Wingstop for being drunk, ordered buffalo wings while intoxicated and speaking unintelligibly.
- Military special forces joke with Super Soaker callback to the 72 virgins.
- Tony plays 'Bad to the Bone' during interview when Jared mentions restaurant; becomes running theme.
- Jared recounts being so drunk at Wingstop he did robot voice; staff couldn't understand him.
Set: 21-year-old comedian discussing sexual confusion (getting erections while pooping), questioning his sexuality, watching three-person porn described as 'tow truck towing a tow truck'.
Interview: Jovan is 21, lives in a school bus, sells popsicles with dirty jokes on sticks at gay festivals ($400 in 4 hours), has lived on buses since childhood.
- Getting erection while taking poop; confused about sexual orientation.
- Three-person porn scene like tow truck towing tow truck towing Civic.
- Tony calculates Jovan's mother hooked up with Afghani father ~1 year after 9/11, asks if mom hates America.
- Jovan reveals he was born 10 days after 9/11, uses it as 'gender reveal party' joke.
Set: 27-year-old Houston comedian with strong presence. Bits about hickeys from fighting, scam calls asking for soul, loneliness, and just starting to wear seatbelts.
Interview: Danny quit Blink Fitness a month ago after earning $200 every two weeks. Lives with parents at 27, does Jiu-Jitsu (purple belt), with girlfriend of 3 years.
- Fighting someone: may whoop your ass but I'll ruin your 10-year marriage with hickeys.
- Picked up scam likely call; offered last four of soul for someone to care about day.
- Tony makes 'Blink Fitness' pun; Jared references cutting grass implied as womanizing.
Set: David opens with commentary on white women, BLM marches, and police profiling. Roasts Tom Papa about yeast, bread, and takes control of the room completely.
Interview: Minimal interview; David dominates with roasts of Tom Papa (comparing him to various unflattering images) and refuses to be interviewed, continuing insults instead.
- White women at BLM march claim to feel his pain; he points out their privilege.
- Tom Papa takes yeast from body and makes bread with it.
- David Lucas refuses formal interview, continues roasting Tom Papa instead of answering questions.
- Multiple rapid-fire roasts comparing Tom to Rayman, sea lion, Quasimodo; Tom allows it.
Set: Phoenix-based female comedian. Jokes about crystal girl dating app comparisons, father relationships, ableist language, and challenges being a female stand-up.
Interview: Beaster moved to Austin 4 months ago for edgier comedy, works as barista, from comedy family (father owned comedy club for 30 years, brothers did stand-up).
- Dating app matches: men say she looks like 'a crystal girl' but don't specify which.
- Men disappointed she has relationship with father; confuses normal family bonds.
- Beaster performs Family Guy impressions (Griffin, Herbert); impresses Tony with voice talent.
- Tony notes she was nervous, suggests opening with voice impressions instead.
Set: Arkansas native, low-energy setup-heavy set with minimal payoff. Story about girl making crude bathroom comment to friend; karaoke-style delivery throughout.
Interview: From Arkansas, moved to Austin 3 months ago from Seattle. Works at Apple Store. Nervous performer who called his dad for encouragement before show.
- Friend came back from bathroom; girl asked if busy during Christmas season; crude implications.
- Jacoby's set has heavy setup with minimal payoff; described as karaoke-like delivery.
- Bought Garth Brooks hat from homeless woman at Sagebrush; woman later stabbed boyfriend 36 times.
Set: 13-year Canadian veteran from Edmonton/Toronto. Sets about not blinking enough, people thinking he's on drugs, brother worried about transgender kid, peanut allergy joke.
Interview: 13 years stand-up in Canada, toured with Joe Rogan, recorded album with JFL, played CBC. Has heart palpitations post-vaccine (unsure if pre-existing). Visa situation for US work.
- People think he's on drugs because he doesn't blink enough.
- Peanut allergy more annoying than transgender child; nuts take out kids.
- Danny describes bathroom joke he couldn't do same way in Canada; woman power-peeing scene.
- Tony invites Danny to secret show Thursday; conversation about Canada vs US healthcare.
Set: Third appearance; strong growth. Jokes about haircut resembling Mongolian Warlord, parents Theo Von and Bobby Lee, uncircumcised fraternity (Alpha Sigma Smegma), intactivist rallies.
Interview: Michael moved to Austin 2 months ago, on stage 10 times in past week. Sold three Miatas to relocate. Quit purchaser job at body shop. Married to white woman.
- Hair like Mongolian Warlord after Mexican haircut in Pflugerville.
- Joined fraternity for uncircumcised men (Alpha Sigma Smegma); intactivist rallies.
- Tony notes significant improvement from previous appearances; Michael's hard work visible.
- Michael reveals he sold three Miatas to move to Texas; jokes about sexuality.
Set: Regular/headliner. Memphis native angered by Prince Harry calling Graceland a dump. Jokes comparing Elvis and Harry's trajectories, badger dens, attacking Prince Harry throughout.
Interview: It's William's birthday this week; went to TCBY designing ice cream cake. Books 15 haircut clients last week, floor covered in hair. Still cutting hair, going to Denver.
- Elvis went from bottom to top; Prince Harry went from top to bottom.
- Badger dens are nice; uses badger-den app weekly and booked some.
- William threatens Prince Harry with violence; Tony and Tom exchange concern about escalation.
- D-Madness/William fake argument about cutting hair; William refuses to cut blind person's hair.