Kimberly Congdon
Kimberly Congdon has performed on Kill Tony 8 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Kim discusses moving from Florida to LA, blaming the universe, how sagging tits can be blamed on good acting. Makes jokes about Starbucks pay-it-forward anxiety and coffee ordering.
- LA is dope because you blame universe for anything; blame moon rocks or good acting.
- Fear of Starbucks pay-it-forward; can't afford venti, might say it's opposite day.
Kim discusses her type in men (athletic black men like Dwayne Wade and Tiger Woods), jokes about liking her coffee like her men, then pivots to a boyfriend pulling out of picking her up for birth control.
- Coffee preference setup comparing to men (athletic guys)
- Boyfriend said he'd pick her up for birth control but pulled out last minute
Jokes about the ALS ice bucket challenge raising awareness and money, then pivots to wanting to raise money for her cable bill so she'd know what to talk about.
- Ice bucket challenge great, but what if we raised money for my cable bill instead?
- People complaining about water waste in ice bucket challenge are fucking cunts.
Topical set on Robin Williams death. Joked about wishing it was her father instead. Made Gaza reference. Discussed aging, losing idols, saggy breasts.
- Robin Williams death—comedian wished it was her father instead
- Aging means losing idols; also saggy breasts (tag to previous point)
23-year-old whose mother going through midlife crisis acts like kid; mother dating 25-year-old boyfriend on leash; uncomfortable age dynamic.
- Mother went through menopause/midlife crisis, started acting like kid; I had to put her down for nap
- Mom dating 25-year-old; he's getting out of diapers while she's going into them
- Mom had him on leash like baby leash; he's controlling but also being controlled
Regular doing one-liner style jokes for first time, departing from her usual storytelling approach. Material included jokes about a prisoner for leaving child in car, planned school shooting without photographer, plastic surgery, bearing arms/shaving, someone liking her frame, and speed limits.
- Judging car on looks for child left in hot car prisoner case
- Right to bear arms means shaving arms, not carrying weapons
Kim does dark material about a man who kidnapped a neighbor's son, killed him, and served him in spaghetti to the mother.
- Kidnapper serves murdered child spaghetti to mother as condolence
Kimberly performs about hooking up with a guy who wanted casual sex (she showed up in jeans on Fridays), discovering utensils aren't her thing, being perceived as mean when she's just high, and confusing relationship dynamics.
- Guy wanted casual sex; she showed up in jeans on Fridays wearing utensils-themed clothing.
- Guy says she looks mean every time; she's just really high, not angry.